Down for the Count (Dare Me)

chapter Twelve


“She’ll be here any minute,” Cat said, wringing her hands together. “Please, don’t do this to her. At least wait to say good-bye.”

Galen jammed another fistful of clothes into his suitcase. “I’m not doing anything to her. I’m doing it for her. Her mother is a witch, but she’s also right about one thing. Lacey doesn’t know what she really wants. Everything she’s done has been because I pushed for it.”

Fate was an evil bitch. After the single best night of his life, She’d snatched it all away with one of the worst mornings he could remember. Lacey’s mother walking in and giving Lacey hell had been bad enough. But realizing that the witch had a point? It was killing him.

“She’s pretty smart, bro. I think she’d know it if you manipulated her in some way.”

“You’re wrong. People never know it until it’s too late. Even now my being here is going to sway her. She’ll have her mom tugging her one way and me the other. I don’t want to put her through that. She’s dealt with enough, and she needs time to be alone and think about what she really wants.” He scooped up the toiletries from the dresser and stuffed them into his bag. “Besides, we never talked about the future. I don’t know if she even wants to be with me once we leave here, and it will only make it harder on both of us if I stay.”

Cat snorted. “She wouldn’t have slept with you if she wasn’t already in love with you. She’s not built that way.”

“Caring about someone and wanting to build a future with him isn’t the same thing at all. This is a decision Lacey needs to make on her own, without me distracting her. I hate to admit it, but I was wrong. I should have—” He ran a hand through his hair and growled. “I don’t know, been here and supported her without any of the other stuff. Then, later down the line, if she felt the same way I did, we could have tried it then. The way things went down? It wasn’t fair to her. I have more experience, and I definitely used it to my advantage.”

He zipped up his bag and set it next to the door, which swung open a second later. His heart sank as Lacey’s accusing gaze drilled into him.

“W-where are you going?”

Cat slipped out, giving Lacey’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as she passed.

Lacey closed the door, squaring off with him. “I asked you a question.”

Her voice quavered, and it was like sucker punch. He wanted nothing more than to walk over and hold her until that quaver went away. “I’m going back home.”

She closed her eyes and seemed to collapse in on herself. “Why?” she croaked.

“Because you don’t need me here f*cking with your head. Your mom was right. You need some time alone to think about what you want.”

The beat of hesitation was like a hot knife in the gut but at the same time, it strengthened his resolve.

“I want you,” she finally whispered.

“You think that now.” He didn’t want to continue, hated driving her away when he wanted nothing more than to grab her and hang on tight, but he forced the words out. “I’m the polar opposite of the man who broke your heart. We’ve been on a whirlwind trip to paradise where it was my goal to make you come harder than you ever have, to take you places you’d never been before. Where I set out to blow your mind over and over until you couldn’t remember what it was like to have another man’s mouth on you. Where I encouraged you to be wild and free and to let yourself go. Who wouldn’t love that? Especially after the hit your ego had taken.

“I didn’t mean to, but f*ck, Lacey. I did take advantage of you. And I’m not going to keep doing it. Maybe all I was ever meant to be was the rebound guy for you. If so, the job is done. You’re going to be fine without Marty.”

The tears streamed freely down her face now, and his throat tightened.

“And if not, if you decide—” He stopped short.

He couldn’t tell her the whole of it. That he would be waiting for her, however long it took. That if she thought about it for a while and realized he wasn’t the rebound guy, if she chose to be with him for the long haul, he would welcome her with open arms. That he f*cking loved her. He totally f*cking loved her. At some point, Little Lacey Garrity had delivered the haymaker and Whalin’ Galen Thomas was down for the count. But saying those things out loud would be no less manipulative than what he’d done to that point. If she truly wanted to be with him, they would have a lifetime to make promises.

The thought gave him the strength he needed to pick up his bag. “No matter what, squirt, I have no regrets.”

He bent low to press a kiss to her wet cheek and walked out the door, a small, stubborn part of his heart hoping she would stop him, reassure him that everything they’d felt was real.

His heart broke a little more when she didn’t.

…

Lacey stared blankly at the data running down the screen of her monitor, waiting to feel something. Anything. The success of their latest marketing campaign should have made her happy or at least given her a sense of satisfaction at a job well done. Instead she felt empty. Hollow.

She turned away from the screen with a sigh. It had been almost a month since she left Puerto Rico, and she was no closer to getting over Galen than she had been the day he’d left. Letting him walk out that door had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. Her stomach clenched from the memory, the moment that was a thousand times worse than finding Marty with Becca. But with her mother’s hurtful words still ringing in her ears, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to chase him when he’d walked away so easily. Maybe he’d been looking for a way out anyway. Rowena had given him that, and then some.

The first couple weeks, she’d waited for him to change his mind. To do something to indicate that he missed her as much as she missed him. Every time the phone rang, her heart stuttered. But as each day passed, hope faded a little more, and she knew he wasn’t going to call. This time, when her office phone rang, she picked it up without even looking at the caller ID. “Lacey Garrity.”

“Will you please meet me for lunch?” Cat’s voice was filled with desperation.

Lacey winced. She’d been putting her friend off for weeks now in hopes of hiding exactly how devastated she was by what had happened between Galen and her. The past few calls had been increasingly more insistent, but still she hedged. It wouldn’t be fair to put her in the middle, and the last thing she needed was for Cat to see that she wasn’t anywhere near getting over her brother. Especially since Galen had so clearly moved on. Just the other night there had been an announcement on ESPN about him challenging Manny Hermosa to a rematch for the belt. Once the money men hammered out a deal—and according to the buzz, they were very close to doing so—it would only be a few weeks before Galen would leave for Chicago to start training.

“I’m not asking again, Lace. If you say no, I’m going to sit in front of your house until you agree to talk to me. You’re really scaring me.”

“I don’t mean to. I’ve been busy. It took a week to untangle the financial mess and send the gifts back to everyone who’d mailed them, then another to talk my mother off the ledge. She’s finally come to terms with the fact that I’m not marrying Marty, but she’s no longer speaking with me and is in full dragon mode with everyone else.”

“I want to hear all about it. You can fill me in on everything over lunch.”

This time, it wasn’t a question. Lacey sighed. She had enough experience to recognize Cat on a mission. “Okay. Where do you want to go?”

“Alistair’s, noon.”

Lacey put the receiver back on the hook and gazed glumly out the window. April showers hadn’t brought May flowers, they’d only brought more rain, which was fine by her. Sunshine and flowers only made her think of Puerto Rico. If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the coquí frogs.

“Cut it out,” she muttered to herself, and turned her attention back to the numbers. Time healed all wounds, and soon she’d be okay again. At this rate, it would only take another twenty years or so.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur of phone calls and meetings and by the time noon came, she was grateful for the reprieve despite having to deal with the upcoming inquisition. Truth was, she’d hated blowing off Cat, and a part of her was glad her friend had forced her hand. It was bad enough without Galen, but not having Cat to lean on during such an emotional time had made it even harder.

By the time she got to Alistair’s, Cat was already at a table sipping a glass of wine. “Want one?”

Lacey shook her head. “I have to go back to work. Don’t you?”

“Nope. I cut out early. I’m going to the shore for the weekend with Steve.”

“Who’s Steve?”

“The new guy I’ve been seeing. See?” She glared at Lacey accusingly. “You’ve been avoiding me so hard, you don’t even know about my boyfriend, Steve.”

“You’ve called me, like, every other day! Just because we haven’t gone out in a few weeks doesn’t mean I’m avoiding you.”

Her green eyes narrowed, and Lacey squirmed under the weight of her gaze. “You are a terrible liar. Always have been. Now what the f*ck is going on with you? I’ve tried to give you time and space to take care of your business like Galen asked me to, but this is getting out of control. Why haven’t you called him?” Cat tapped her manicured purple nails on the tabletop impatiently.

Lacey swallowed the knot lodged in her throat and strived for a normal tone. “I don’t even have his number.” She barked out a harsh laugh. “How telling is that? We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. It was a fling. A—”

“Bullshit. You’re crazy about him. And he’s damn sure crazy about you. He’s been a miserable prick since you dumped him. I promised I would mind my own business. I swore I wouldn’t get involved, but damn it, you two are screwing this all up.”

Lacey speared a hand through her red curls and tugged like she was ready to pull them out. “You ever watch a movie with a group of attractive teenagers on a camping trip in a remote area, and two of them walk off to drink beer and do dirty things to each other, and you know the ax murderer is going to come and hack them up, but you can’t say anything because they’re on the big screen? That’s what this is like. I know the ending to the story, and I know it could be different if you guys want it to be.”

“First off, he dumped me, and he sure didn’t look miserable on TV the other night when they interviewed him.”

“Don’t confuse how he behaves in an interview with real life. It’s his job to swagger in, show confidence, and talk enough smack to get his potential opponent to pay attention. You know that as well as I do. You let him go. A word would have stopped him, Lacey. Surely you know that. Hell, I only saw how he looked when he was packing to leave, and I knew that. He’s a wreck, and I know that because I go by his house every night to make sure he’s eating.”

Lacey’s mouth went dry, and her pulse careened out of control. “Because of me?”

“Why else? He won’t talk about it. Keeps telling me that he’s fine, but I’m not stupid.”

“So he didn’t actually say it, then?”

“No. But I know for sure.”

The hope that had sprung to life only a few seconds before died. “Cat, it could be a million things bothering him. His career is winding down; maybe he’s nervous about the fight or worried about what comes next.”

“Watching the two people I love most hurting each other like this is killing me. Please. Go talk to him. I know he wants—”

Lacey held up a hand and willed herself not to cry. “Stop. You don’t know. You want that to be the reason because it pushes all your romantic buttons to think about us pining away for each other after our wild week together and because you want to see us both happy. But I can’t do it, Cat. I can’t risk getting hurt again. Not right now.”

“When, then? What happened to no regrets, Lace? You were different in Puerto Rico. I thought it changed you, but now, weeks later, everything is the same. Same job you couldn’t care less about. Same relationship with The Admiral, same Lacey, afraid to live. Afraid to jump, in case she might fall.”

The words rained on Lacey like blows, and she sat back, stunned. Her first instinct was to walk away. Hide her head under a blanket and lick her wounds. But white-hot anger came and displaced the hurt. “You have a lot of nerve. I had to deal with my mother my whole life and had a father who was hardly ever there. You’ve got two wonderful parents who think the sun rises and sets with you. It’s a lot easier to jump when you know someone will be there to catch you if you fall, or at the very least be there with a bandage and a kiss. I never had that, so don’t talk to me about tough.” She snatched up Cat’s wineglass and took a gulp before slamming it back onto the table. “And I quit my job, so there. I have another week before my replacement starts.”

Cat’s face split into a grin. “Awesome. That’s what I want to see from you. Some fire. Fight. Stand up for who you want to be and what you want in your life. If that includes my brother, then you need to put on your big-girl pants and go get him.”

The anger faded as quickly as it had come, and Lacey slumped in her chair. In spite of her methods, Cat was only trying to help. She met her friend’s gaze. “What if I go talk to him and he doesn’t want me?” she whispered. “Or what if he thinks he does and then later…what if my mother was right? What if I can’t hold a man like Galen?”

“If he doesn’t want you, he’s a fool. And The Admiral has some screws loose. She doesn’t know my brother from Adam. There is no one more loyal or dependable than Galen, and you are funny, and smart, and beautiful. You’re everything a man like my brother could ever want. Stop making excuses because you’re afraid. You have to do this because then at least you can say that you tried. Ten years from now if you’re saddled with some balding Marty-type snoozer, you won’t be left wondering what if and daydreaming about a time machine so you could come back to this day and have a do-over.”

Lacey let her friend’s words sink in. Could she stand it? If he came right out and said he didn’t want to be with her, would she ever be okay again? She dug deep for the answer but came up empty. What she did know was that she’d let him walk away once and she’d never be okay if she didn’t at least try to get him back.

“Where is he?”

Cat checked her watch and smiled. “Funny you should ask.”