In other words I was really in the party spirit.
My depressed thoughts weren’t eased when I hurried down to Cam’s flat to pick him up and he barely registered my dress. The dress he’d found so hot pre-Blair encounter that he’d ravished me in a public dressing room.
I felt my chest tighten with anxiety as he remained quiet during the taxi ride with Olivia and Uncle Mick. Even Olivia commented on it, asking him if he was all right.
Of course he insisted he was, though we all knew (we, as in I) that he had been thrown for a loop by the arrival of his ex-girlfriend, aka the only woman he had ever loved.
We arrived at Joss and Braden’s flat on Dublin Street to find the party already in full swing. Hannah and Declan were staying with friends tonight, so Elodie and Clark were free to stay as long as they wanted. Elodie was completely smashed already – and Elodie smashed was just a heightened version of Elodie sober. She kept moving around all the guests asking them if they wanted a refill and when they said yes, she proceeded to overfill their glasses with a loopy ‘Oopsie!’
Cam, Olivia and I settled in a corner with Adam and Ellie. I tried to keep up with the conversation, and attempted to appear as if everything was all right, laughing along with the others as Adam pointed out the growing strain on Joss’s face as she was forced to mingle. At one point we watched as Joss attempted to remove her hand from the grip of the wife of one of Braden’s professional acquaintances as she peered at the engagement ring. Joss tugged politely a few times, but when that didn’t seem to get through, she actually swatted the woman’s hand off hers and then smiled prettily as if nothing had happened, leaving Braden choking on laughter while she excused herself.
We were all laughing, and I turned to Cam to share a smile with him, only to find his head bent over his phone.
‘You okay?’ I asked, looking down at the text message he was typing and feeling that ugly compression on my chest again.
He glanced up and gave me a barely there smile. ‘Yeah, you?’
‘Fine. Who are you texting?’
‘Just Blair. She wanted my address.’
‘Hmm.’ I nodded, hoping my fury wasn’t evident in my eyes. I turned away from him, cursing him to the moon and back.
Come to a party for my friend’s engagement as my bloody date and stand there not paying attention to anything anyone’s saying, tapping away at your bloody phone, talking to an ex-girlfriend you casually mention you were in love with, and expect me not to be bloody well pissed off, you bloody swine, you utter –
‘So, Jo, how are you liking the new job?’ Adam asked me, interrupting my inner diatribe against my boyfriend.
‘Oh, good.’
Adam waited for me to say more, but I couldn’t make my brain work. While my blood was hot with anger, my chest hurt, and my melancholy thoughts took up all my head space. Realizing he wasn’t going to get anything else out of me, Adam engaged Olivia in conversation and I ignored the worried looks Ellie kept shooting me.
I glanced around the room, wishing I could just escape, lock myself in the bathroom and cry. But that seemed awfully melodramatic, considering Cam hadn’t actually done anything wrong. It was my insecurities that were making me feel this way, right?
I caught Uncle Mick’s eye across the room and smiled. He grinned and then turned back to Clark. The two men were so different, one a scholar, one a manual labourer, and yet they seemed to get on incredibly well with each other. I was glad. It was nice of Joss and Braden to invite Mick and Olivia to their engagement party, but I had worried that they would feel out of place.
Turned out the only one feeling out of place was me.
I listened with half an ear as Ellie managed to engage Cam in conversation. Although he chatted with her about the new project he was creating the graphics for, an independent chocolate shop that was opening in Edinburgh, I could hear the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. I knew him too well. I knew his mind was off somewhere else tonight.
Was it really my insecurities telling me his mind was on Blair? Or was it my instincts?
I needed the opinion of a blunt, straightforward, honest couple.
Sweeping the crowded sitting room, I couldn’t see Joss and Braden anywhere. I excused myself and headed out into the empty hallway, then proceeded to check the kitchen, where a large group of people had congregated. They weren’t there either. I checked the bedrooms. Both empty.
Wondering if they’d gone outside for some fresh air, I headed down the hall towards the door and that was when I heard the deep, rumbling chuckle.
I halted, my eyebrows at my hairline as I turned to face the bathroom door.
No.
They wouldn’t.
Would they?
‘Oh, wait, I think my leg cramped up.’ Joss snorted and then giggled. Actually giggled. I didn’t know she could do that.
‘How did it cramp up?’ Braden murmured.