‘What brought on this change of heart? Not that I’m complaining,’ I hurried to assure her.
Completely deadpan and traumatized, Joss held my curious gaze. ‘Ellie made me watch an adaptation of Jane Austen’s Emma so she could show me the dos and don’ts of matchmaking. This was followed by a redundant showing of the teen movie Clueless, which happens to be based on Jane Austen’s Emma.’ She let that sit with me, clearly urging me to find it as horrifying as she had.
I tried to stifle my laughter. I really did.
Just not hard enough.
I threw my head back, falling against my locker in a fit of giggles. I couldn’t get the image out of my head and I could just imagine how seriously Ellie had taken the whole thing. ‘Oh, my God,’ I gasped through my laughter. ‘That must have been so painful for you.’
Renewed excruciation flickered across her face as though she was having a flashback. ‘Painful does not even cover it. You know what’s worse than watching a romantic drama?’
‘No.’
‘Analysing one.’
Well, that set me off again.
‘Stop laughing. It’s not funny.’
‘Oh, it’s so funny. And just what you deserved.’
Joss groaned. ‘Yeah, probably.’
After I’d stemmed my laughter, I shook my head, wiping the tears from my eyes. ‘I still can’t understand why someone who rolls her eyes at romance films is writing a romance novel.’
She glowered at me. ‘It’s not a romance. It’s my parents’ story.’
‘Yeah, your parents who had a flaming, passionate romance.’
Joss’s eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘Do you want me to go back to matchmaking?’
I shuddered at the thought. ‘Definitely not.’
‘Be quiet, then.’
At her belligerent expression, I snorted. Clearly she was mad that her attempts to lead me from my ‘path of misery’ had failed so soon. ‘You know, if it makes you feel any better, I really do care about Malcolm. And I’m not actually miserable.’
Her eyes dimmed a little, any air of teasing between us dying out immediately. ‘My worry, Jo, is that you’re not happy either.’
For a moment, I felt breathless again. I stared over her shoulder at the wall where our shift schedule for the week was pinned to a notice board surrounded by staff memos, cocktail recipes and contact numbers. When I could breathe again, I dragged my gaze back to hers. ‘I know that Malcolm will make me happy.’
She threw me a look that clearly screamed, Are you serious? ‘How lukewarm of you. You’ve been together for over three months. I think you’d know by now whether or not you’re in love with him.’
I slammed my locker shut, preparing to go into the bar for opening. I thought about today in the changing room at Harvey Nichols and found myself getting defensive. ‘Look, not all relationships are like you and Braden, or Ellie and Adam. They aren’t all passionate sex and absolute adoration. Sometimes it’s slow and secure and warm. That doesn’t make it any less meaningful.’
Joss passed me, her nose wrinkled with irritation. ‘Slow, secure and warm? We’re not talking about an old guy in a Zimmer with a lap blanket. We’re talking about sex and love.’
‘Who’s talking about sex and love?’ Cam’s deep, raspy voice tugged at my lower belly.
As I stepped behind the bar, I couldn’t look at him.
I had hoped those last few times in his company were a complete anomaly, but it was clear they weren’t – my body seemed to vibrate and come to life around him, and I was beginning to feel guilty about my attraction towards him.
‘Jo and I were,’ Joss answered, her voice still gruff with frustration. She leaned back against the bar and stared at me, her expression unreadable in the dim light.
Cam raised an eyebrow, shooting me an equally unfathomable look. ‘Trouble in paradise?’
Since he hadn’t asked me with a sneer in his voice this time, I shook my head and deigned to answer him. ‘No, we’re fine. Joss is just having “a moment”.’
She grumbled under her breath, but customers started trickling in, and then pouring in, and soon we were too busy to have much of a conversation.
For the first two hours, I somehow miraculously managed to avoid Cam’s end of the bar. I worked at the opposite end and Joss worked in the middle. I chatted sporadically with her about nonsense anytime we were close enough to hear each other over the music. Braden, Ellie and Adam came in and took their usual table directly across from us so that Braden and Joss could screw each other with their eyes. I, on the other hand, did a good job of pretending that my entire body wasn’t aware of every single move Cam made, of every wicked smile he flashed at an attractive customer, at the way his jeans cupped his bite-worthy ass every time he bent over for something, or that when he reached up for a new bottle of Jack Daniel’s his T-shirt rode up to show a slab of taut abs.