“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just something’s obviously bothering you, and neither one of us are going to get any sleep if you don’t stop flopping around like a fish.”
The strike of a match prompted me to push the covers back and sit up. As Kenna lit the oil lamp on the nightstand, I focused on the soft light flickering behind her instead of the questions running through my head. Because as soon as I opened my mouth, I might have to face answers I wasn’t ready to hear.
“Veeee …” Kenna’s voice took on the whiny, nasal tone she knew I hated.
“Okay, okay.” I let out a slow breath. “Duncan likes you. And you like him, right?”
Kenna frowned. “I thought we were going to talk about you.”
“Just answer the question, please. Do you like Duncan?”
“Well, uh, sure.” Her eyes darted away, focusing on everything but my face. After several moments of silence, she faced me and shrugged a shoulder. “Who wouldn’t? He’s yummier than triple-chocolate ice cream—and you know how I love my chocolate ice cream.”
That said a lot, but unfortunately didn’t answer the milliondollar question. “Did you see or dream about Duncan before we came here?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, but if you and Duncan started dating …” When she glanced at me, I arched an eyebrow and quirked the corner of my mouth. “Would it be so bad to end up living in paradise with a tall, handsome prince?”
“One girl’s paradise is another girl’s purgatory.” She released a heavy breath. “I mean, he’s fabulous and all. But I won’t give up my dreams of the stage to have a litter of bambinis and become some Doonian Stepford princess. And besides, I’m not the one who’s been dreaming about snogging the king wannabe.”
Laughing, I picked up a pillow and lobbed it at her head.
“Hey, ow!”
“He happens to be the crown prince of Doon. He’s not a wannabe anything. And I absolutely have not been dreaming about snogging him!” Much. I swallowed a sigh at the thought of Jamie’s hauntingly beautiful face and cleared my throat, sweeping the image out of my mind before continuing.
“So what if I saw him a few times before we came here.” I tried to smile, but a deep grief pulled at the corners of my mouth and caused my words to tremble. “Since he hates me, it must not mean anything.” I shrugged and climbed back under the covers.
“Why don’t you just ask him?”
“Ask him if he hates me?”
“No, dummy. Ask him if he saw you too.”
“It’s not worth the risk.” I’d spoken without thinking, but now that I said it I knew it was true. “I don’t need another guy to let me down.” I was done handing my heart to people who used it as a doormat as they walked out of my life.
“Oh, Vee.” Kenna said as she turned the wick down, extinguishing the lamp. “Sweetie, your dad was a loser. You’re better off without him in your life. And Eric, well, he was just a Neanderthal. He’ll most likely end up impregnating Steph and having half a dozen blond babies before he’s twenty-five.”
“Yeah, I know.” I turned my face to the moonlit window. The mountains of Doon loomed in the distance like giant sentinels. “I just wish there was some way I could erase the memories of Jamie from my head … forget the way he made me feel before we came here.”
“How did he make you feel?” Kenna whispered into the dark.
Like he cared enough to pursue me, like I was more important than his own plans and desires. Like I wasn’t alone. But I said, “Wanted.”
Snuggling into the plush down comforter, I squeezed my eyes closed and attempted to count sheep.
“He doesn’t hate you, by the way,” Kenna said almost clairvoyantly. When I didn’t respond, she continued. “Jamie, I mean. One of the first things we learned in acting class is that there’s a very fine line between love and hate. It’s obvious to anyone who’s been around the two of you that Jamie MacCrae does not hate you.”
I didn’t answer. Instead I rolled away, unwilling to talk about it anymore—afraid to hope she could be right and even more afraid she was wrong.
CHAPTER 15
Veronica