Chapter Twenty-FivePresent
As I drive home from my meeting with Olivia, I intermittently sob and swear. The whole world is swimming in and out of focus as I weigh the chances of losing my husband. Olivia’s words mingle with my thoughts until I almost crash into a garbage truck. As soon as I walk through the front door, I beeline outside to where Sam has Estella on a blanket. I pick her up and hold her against my chest. She wiggles and lets out a wail of protest. Sam takes her from me, and she stops crying. I take her back from Sam.
“Take the day off,” I say, studying her scrunched up face. “It’s about time she learns to f*cking like me.”
Sam raises his eyebrows. I’m about to tell him that I don’t like the look on his face, when he turns and walks away.
I can see him through the French doors. He grabs his keys from the kitchen counter and strides off without a backward glance. I look back at Estella.
“Maybe we can try this again. If we can figure out how to like each other, your daddy might stay.”
She flails her fists and blinks at me. She really is kind of cute.
I stretch my legs out and lay her on my thighs. I talk to her for the next thirty minutes about life until she starts screaming at me. Then we go into the house for dinner. After I’ve put her to bed, I put on my sexiest piece of lingerie and wait. Forty minutes later, I hear his key in the lock.
When I rush into the foyer, Caleb is closing the front door behind him. I freeze, and when he looks up, I’m not sure who looks more flustered.
“I’m just here to pick up some of my things.”
He won’t look at me. I take a few steps toward him. I want to touch him, tell him I’m sorry.
“Caleb, talk to me … please.”
He fixes his eyes on me, and I see none of the warmth that used to be there. I flinch back. Has everything between us disappeared?
“I’ll be back for her tomorrow. There are just a few things I need to pick up,” he repeats.
I place a hand on his chest and he freezes.
He grabs my wrist. “Don’t.” This time he looks me in the eyes. “You use sex like it’s a weapon. I’m not interested.”
“It’s okay when Olivia uses it, just not me?” The words are out before I can stop them.
“What are you talking about?”
I think about my conversation with Sam. If I want to know about his relationship with Olivia, now is probably the time to ask, since he’s already mad at me.
“Why didn’t you ever sleep with her?”
Caleb reacts instantaneously, grabbing me by the shoulders and moving me out of his way. He heads for the stairs. I follow behind him.
“Come on, Caleb. You let her use sex — or lack thereof — as a weapon. Why?”
He glares at me. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Maybe. But that’s because you never talk about her. And, I want to know exactly what happened between the two of you.”
“She left me,” he says. “End of story.”
“What about the second time?” I challenge. “During your amnesia?”
“She left me again.”
His admission cuts me, deeply.
“Why didn’t you ever talk to me about what she did? When she came back and lied to you?”
“Why didn’t you ever ask?” He counters.
“I didn’t want to know…”
He starts to turn away.
“But, I do now,” I say.
“No.”
“No?” I follow him up the first few stairs. “I want to know why you hired her as my attorney … why you weren’t angry with her for lying to you.”
He turns around so quickly I almost topple over.
“I hired her as your attorney because I knew she’d win. I was angry with her … I still am.”
“Why?” I yell after him, but he’s already gone.