Diamonds are Forever

CHAPTER EIGHT




WITH a clash of cymbals the orchestra brought the symphony to an end. The conductor turned to receive the well-earned applause. Faye came out of her happy trance. The music had been magnificent and she was reluctant to return to reality with all its problems and confusions.

It was late in the evening, but while the children were at camp she needn’t rush home. For their sakes Garth had often managed to return early, but during their absence he’d reverted to staying late at the office. It was as though he and Faye were holding their breaths in this delicate situation.

Daydreaming, she left the concert hall without looking where she was going, and collided with someone. ‘I’m terribly sorry, I—Kendall!’

‘Hello, darling.’ He kissed her cheek.

‘Where did you appear from?’ she asked, smiling.

‘I was at the concert. Come and have a drink with me.’

It was a fine evening and they found a pub with tables outside in the garden, and coloured lights hanging from the trees. Kendall bought cider for himself, orange juice for Faye and hot dogs for both of them.

‘Fancy you going to a classical concert,’ Faye said. ‘Where were you sitting?’

After an awkward pause Kendall said, ‘All right, I didn’t actually go to the concert. I knew you’d be there because I was with you when you bought the ticket, ages ago. I waited outside.’

It was nice to know that he was so eager to see her, but the little lie troubled her. Then she determinedly pushed it out of her head.

‘I’ve missed you,’ Kendall said.

‘And I you.’

‘Well, there’s always the television,’ he said, speaking apparently lightly but with a significant edge.

‘Television?’

‘Last night. What did you think?’

With a gasp of dismay she remembered that Kendall had been on a talk show, due to be broadcast the previous evening.

‘It’s all right,’ he said, reading her face. ‘I don’t suppose you could watch it with him around.’

She wasn’t fooled by his easy tone. Kendall had a touch of vanity about his media appearances. Faye had always found this slightly endearing and had fondly made much of him, while he basked in her admiration. She knew she ought to make amends now by inventing a convincing excuse, but suddenly she was too tired for white lies and the truth came out before she could think properly.


‘Kendall, I’m sorry, Garth wasn’t even in last night. But I’ve got so much on my mind just now—’

‘That you didn’t give me a thought. Fair enough.’ He spoke with a kind of determined brightness that set her at a distance.

‘Kendall, please—’

‘Forget it. I’m sure you’re having a very difficult time. Is your husband making life hard?’

‘Not really. He’s behaving well to the children. It’s lovely to see him with Cindy. She just basks in his attention. And he’s doing better with Adrian, too. But I worry that he’s just using them.’

‘I suppose he might have honestly seen the light. Perhaps he’s afraid of a lonely old age.’ Kendall shrugged. ‘I should think he’s certainly heading for one.’

‘Garth’s not afraid of anything. He’s got too much self-confidence. He’s—Oh, I don’t how how to say it—’

It was useless trying to define Garth. The more she tried, the more he slipped through her fingers. She could describe his manner and his infuriating behaviour. But there were no words for his sudden grin, full of devilment and charm, or the wild wonderment of his dreams. Once he’d shared those dreams with her and it had been like watching shooting stars. But that was a long time ago.

She gave up, remembering that it irked Kendall to hear too much about Garth. ‘Tell me how things are with you,’ she said.

‘There’s not a lot going on in my life at the moment,’ he said. ‘I work, and I think of you.’

‘Have you finished your book yet?’

‘I told you I had, at the football match.’

‘Oh, yes, you did. Sorry, I forgot. Are you happy with it?’

‘I’m never happy with my writing, you know that.’

‘Yes, you were always changing things until the last minute.’

She persevered with the theme of his writing, conscientiously asking all the right questions, until the subject was exhausted. She searched for another one then realized, with dismay, what she was doing. She and Kendall had always found plenty to talk about. Yet tonight something was wrong. The air didn’t vibrate with excitement as it did when Garth was around.

But she wasn’t her usual self at the moment, she remembered with relief. When things returned to normal everything would be well between them again. But try as she might, she couldn’t find the elusive spark that would bring her alive in Kendall’s company.

‘It’s very late,’ she said at last. ‘I should be getting home now.’

‘I’ll walk you to your car.’

She tucked her hand in his arm and everything was comfortable between them, as it had always been. But it was no longer enough. When they reached the car she said, almost desperately, ‘Kiss me goodnight.’

Kendall’s embrace was the same as always but his kiss didn’t thrill her, and now she wondered if it ever really had.

‘Faye …’ Kendall said tensely.

‘Kiss me again,’ she pleaded.

‘Better not. Your thoughts were wandering. Like I told you, it has to be all or nothing with me. Goodnight, Faye.’

As she went through the front door Faye could hear Garth’s voice from behind his study door, sounding as though he was on the phone. She was glad, as she couldn’t bear to talk. She went up the stairs, straight to her own room.

A shower made her feel better. Wrapping a soft towelling dressing gown about her she returned to the bedroom and switched off all the lights except a soft lamp by her dressing table. Her mind was in turmoil.

Something had been different tonight and Kendall had recognized it too. It was all because of Garth. He’d kissed her that first night and her body had responded out of sheer surprise. If she’d been more prepared she might have stilled those treacherous impulses. But she hadn’t stilled them and the memories had remained. They had prompted her to reach out to him on the evening after the disastrous press show. But he hadn’t wanted her. They’d grown too far apart. There was an ache of desolation in her heart.

She remembered the lithe firmness of Garth’s body and how good it felt to hold it. He’d been a generous as well as a skilful lover, warm and tender and eager for her pleasure as well as his own.

She knew it was dangerous to dwell on these memories, but they were part of the happiest time of her life. The fulfilment hadn’t just been physical. Garth’s love had filled the world, making her feel valued and totally a woman. Without her even knowing it, a smile touched her lips. Then it faded into a sigh.

She was so absorbed in her reverie that she didn’t see the door open and Garth enter quietly. He stood watching her, his eyes darkening with anger at the look of tender introspection on her face. She thought she was alone, so it wasn’t teasing that made her lips curl in that sweet smile as if she was thinking of something—or someone—who made her blissfully happy.

Suddenly she seemed to become aware of him and turned her head. ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ she said.

‘I wanted to talk to you.’ He looked like a man under terrible strain, and his eyes were haggard.

‘Garth, you can’t just walk into my room. We had an agreement—’

‘It’s not me that’s breaking it, Faye. You gave your word that there’d be no dates with Haines—’

‘I didn’t make a date with him—’

‘Don’t lie to me! You were with him tonight. I saw you as I drove home.’

‘I said I didn’t make a date with him, not that I didn’t see him. I bumped into Kendall as I came out of the concert and had a drink with him. That’s all.’

‘Not quite all. You were kissing him.’

‘You really studied us, didn’t you? Or are you just protecting your investment?’

‘I don’t like people who don’t keep their word.’

‘It was an accident.’

‘Was kissing him an accident?’

‘No, I did that because I wanted to,’ she said defiantly.

‘And to hell with me?’

‘I never gave you a thought,’ she said, meeting his eyes. ‘What’s this all about, Garth? You said yourself there’s nothing for us now but to see this through to the end and say goodbye.’

‘Perhaps I’ve changed my mind,’ he said, reaching for her determinedly.

‘Oh, no!’ She put up a hand. ‘Our agreement—’

‘You broke it, Faye. Now it’s my turn. I don’t like being overlooked and I’m not going to be any longer.’ Before she could protest he covered her mouth with his own, kissing her with fierce, angry intent.

As soon as their lips touched Faye knew what had been missing from Kendall’s kiss. The opposition of her mind meant nothing while Garth could still cause vibrations of pleasure to go through her at his lightest touch. Anger at the way he simply took what he wanted warred with a pleasure that her body had once known, and for which it still yearned.

She couldn’t cope with her feelings because they reminded her how totally he could possess her. Worse still, they brought back the hot, sweet nights of their early love. With that love gone, it was cruel that her flesh still responded to him.

‘Let me go, Garth,’ she told him, eyes blazing.

‘Why should I? This was what you wanted the other night.’

‘Like you, I’ve changed my mind. Let me go now.’


‘Am I trespassing on Kendall Haines’s property? Do you think I care?’

‘I’m not his property, and I’m not yours.’

‘You were mine once, because that was how you wanted it. You gave yourself to me completely, with trust and love. Do you remember that, Faye?’

‘Don’t,’ she whispered.

‘Why not? Do you think I’m going to let you wipe our past away as though it never existed? It did exist. It lived, and it’s part of us both, however much you wish it wasn’t.’

She struggled to speak firmly. She wouldn’t let him win. ‘I don’t remember anything, Garth. The past is dead.’

‘Damn you,’ he said softly.

He took possession of her mouth, and the pleasure was so poignant that she gasped. The hand she put up was meant to push him away but somehow it ended by caressing him instead, fingers in his hair, turning and twisting, enjoying the springy feel.

He tugged at the belt of her bathrobe until it came loose and he could pull the robe from her shoulders and embrace her totally. Half knowing what she did, Faye began to open the buttons of his shirt. She wanted everything about him: his agility and strength, his skill and tenderness, all the things that had once been hers. So much had gone for ever but there was still the pleasure of clinging to him, feeling his hands wandering over her, making her come alive.

Garth held her against him, looking down into her flushed, dreamy face.

‘You remember,’ he said arrogantly. ‘You pretend not to, but you do. You remember everything, how much I want you, how much you want me—’

‘It’s not true,’ she gasped.

‘I can make it true. I’m still there, aren’t I, Faye? Deny it as much as you like, I’m still there.’

‘Yes,’ she said in a helpless whisper. ‘But, Garth, please—this isn’t the answer.’

‘What is the answer?’ he demanded between kisses. ‘Cosy little chats to relive every detail of our mistakes? Who needs words when we can talk like this?’

He smothered her mouth with his own, silencing all further argument. Faye could feel the last of her reason slipping away in the tide of passion that flowed over her.

She felt the silk of the counterpane beneath her back, the slight sinking of the mattress as Garth lay down beside her. His eyes seemed to feast on her, like a starving man presented with a banquet, and he ran a hand appreciatively over her slim frame.

‘You managed the other seven pounds, I see,’ he murmured admiringly. ‘I had a feeling you’d do what you set your mind to. Looks great.’

He didn’t wait for her to speak, but kissed her again. Longing flooded her. It was useless to protest to herself. She wanted Garth as much as he wanted her, and now she could only yield with a deep sigh of fulfilment.

He groaned as he pulled her against him, enfolding her in his arms and running his hands over her beautiful form. Their hearts and minds might have parted, but on this level nothing had changed. Ten years ago their physical harmony had been immediate and ecstatic. It was the same now. He knew how to please her, and he used his knowledge to the full.

Although it was their physical need that drove them, he was still the considerate lover that she remembered. He knew how to wait, to give her time to feel easy with him again. Looking up, she met his eyes and found them brooding over her like a miser with recovered treasure.

‘You’re still mine,’ he murmured. ‘You always were mine, and you always will be.’

She knew she should dispute this, but the delight flooding through her left no room for argument. Whatever the future held, she was his at this moment and her heart knew it.

The time they’d spent apart had brought its changes and as lovers they were strangers again. But they’d been strangers the first time they made love and it had been wonderful. Now Faye felt almost as she had then, breathless with eagerness, not sure what to expect of him but hoping for everything.

She thought she surprised a moment of hesitancy in his face, as though he, too, were moving cautiously as he reclaimed unfamiliar ground. She knew that look. It meant he wanted to be reassured. So she did so, touching his face gently, one of their old signals, and the result was all she’d hoped. His embrace grew stronger, more confident and possessive. Just as it had been that first time.

And something else was the same, the beauty and wonder of becoming one with him. Once she’d been sure that life could hold no more happiness than this. Now she knew for certain that it was true. The years without him had been a lonely ache of desolation, and secretly she’d always been waiting to come home.

There was a new edge to their passion. Now she, too, had confidence. She knew herself as a woman who could drive this attractive man wild. What was happening had always been bound to happen.

She murmured his name and he looked at her quickly. ‘Faye?’ he said. ‘Faye?’ It was a question, as though he thought she might vanish from his arms.

She held him close, demanding more and more, and he gave freely and bountifully. Their climax was a burst of dazzling light, a flowering of the world that left her exhausted, trembling and utterly satiated.

She could see that it was the same with him. He was gasping slightly from the lengths to which she’d driven him and his face registered pure amazement. Faye wondered if her own face revealed her feeling of triumph.

She looked at him out of eyes that were hazy with fulfilment. Her whole body was relaxed as it hadn’t been for two years. The world was a good place after all.

‘I didn’t mean that to happen,’ he said slowly, watching her.

‘Didn’t you?’ she asked softly. ‘I thought you’d meant it to happen from the start.’

‘I made you a promise—’

Oh, yes, she thought vaguely. The promise.

‘It’s too late to worry about that,’ she murmured, wondering why he was making a fuss about it. Unconsciously, her lips curved into a blissful smile.

‘Don’t smile at me like that,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Not unless you want to drive me mad. Faye!’

He took hold of her shoulders to give her a little shake, but he didn’t let go. He couldn’t. The moment he touched her they both knew their desire was far from exhausted. And this time it was even more irresistible, because of what they’d both discovered.

He said her name once more, before his lips descended on her mouth. Faye gave a sigh of anticipation, and it all began again.

Garth was already downstairs when Faye descended next morning. She waited for him to look up, for the consciousness that would be between them. Perhaps he would smile.

But there was only trouble in his eyes when he raised his head. ‘I owe you an apology,’ he said in a low voice.

‘An—?’

‘Look, I know what you’re going to say. I broke my word. You told me to stay away from you or the deal would be off. Please—’ He raised his hand when she tried to speak.

Faye’s voice faded at once. She couldn’t have forced the words out through the stone that was encasing her heart.

‘Just hear me out,’ Garth insisted. ‘I swear that nothing like it will ever happen again. I was in a bad state last night, business worries, nothing serious, but I wasn’t myself. I’m sure you’re angry, Faye, but there’s no need to be. It’s over, finished. I’ll draw a line under it, if you will.’

‘By all means, let’s draw a line under it,’ she said. ‘Nothing could suit me better.’