chapter 13
They set out toward the river, passing the corrals and the outbuildings on the way. All day long, she’d thrown herself into the household chores as a way to keep from thinking about this morning’s potent kiss, but now, without that to distract her, coupled with his presence on the seat beside her, the memory rose and refused to leave. She wondered if she’d be immune to his kiss the next time—the way one became immune to, say, the mumps. She was so out of her element, she wished Kaye was near so she could ask her if Carson’s kisses moved her in the same breathtaking manner.
Penny for your thoughts.”
Just thinking about my friend Kathleen and wondering how she’s faring.”
How long have you known her?”
Since primary school. She’s been a true friend since the first day we met.”
And how’d you meet?”
So she told him about Liam Anderson and Kate’s father and Mrs. Ainsley’s dress. She left out the part about the whipping she’d received. The unfair punishment had left her bitter for weeks, not that that mattered to her mother. Once again, she wondered how she might be faring, but pushed the thoughts away.
So whatever happened to Anderson?”
She shrugged. “I heard rumors that he wound up in a reformatory but no idea if they were true or not. I was just happy to never lay eyes on him again. I don’t imagine you were picked on in school.”
Nope. Had a few fights though, but never picked on anyone. Alanza would’ve taken a buggy whip to my hide.” He looked her way. “Do you want to continue your driving lessons?”
I do, but not with you.”
Why not?”
Because you have no patience and frankly, you’re terrible at it.”
Mariah?”
It’s the truth, Logan. You are. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but to keep peace in the land, I should have someone else teach me, okay?”
Okay, but you really know how to wound a man.”
She thought he kissed far better than he gave driving instructions, but she kept that to herself. His head was big enough as it was.
A short while later, they arrived at the riverbank. It was the same area she’d stomped off to yesterday after pelting him with the rock. She looked over questioningly. “What’s to eat here?”
Fish, soon as I catch a couple.”
How might I help?”
By peeling some potatoes, and not throwing rocks.”
She dropped her head to hide her smile. “You have a deal.”
He came around to help her down, and this time, he swung her down very slowly before setting her on her feet. The heat of his hands on her waist made her think about his kisses yet again and he was standing near enough to flare her senses to life. Not wanting to succumb, she backed out of his hold. Hoping to sound nonchalant, she asked, “What kind of fish are in the water?”
Bass, mostly.”
Do you fish here often?”
Often enough. You ever been fishing?”
No.” She found herself staring at the shape of his mouth and lips. Catching herself, she snapped her eyes back up to his and saw him smile.
Let me get my pole and gear out of the wagon.”
While he fished, Mariah peeled the four potatoes, and did what she could to offset his effects. Nothing worked—not thinking about scrubbing floors, or washing lamp chimneys or beating rugs. Every thought centered on him—from the shape of his mouth and the feel of it mastering hers, to the remembrances of his hard chest against her breasts, to the whispered word, querida. She glanced over at him standing on the bank. He was as bold in stature and ways as the wild, untamed surroundings. Were he on the streets of Philadelphia men would scurry out of his path and women would flock to him like birds to corn. Growing up, she had no idea men like him existed. In her world, the opposite gender was represented by gently raised men like Tillman and Kaye’s father. Granted, Tillman had no spine, but had he proposed marriage, she would’ve said yes because he was the type of man well brought up women were supposed to be drawn to. Yet, she found herself drawn to Logan Yates and it made no sense. He had a mistress, which told her he viewed her as just another female amusement. When it came to kissing and the rest, she might be a babe in the woods, but she took pride in herself and wanted a man who viewed her as more than just someone to dally with.
It didn’t take him long to snag a few fat fish, which he promptly scaled, gutted, seasoned, and set in a frying pan over a fire he built in a nearby fire ring. A second pan held the potatoes. When everything was done, he produced two tin plates and tableware. She found the hot fish succulent and the potatoes excellently seasoned.
This is very good. You cook well.”
Thanks. Started cooking when I was around six or seven.”
That’s about the age I began to sew.”
Did you enjoy it?”
No, not at first, but I didn’t have a choice. As I mentioned yesterday, she was a very strict taskmaster.”
The two of you didn’t get along very well, I take it?”
No.” Mariah thought back on her joyless childhood. In her mother’s household, there’d been no time for play. As soon as she came home from school, there was sewing to be done or household chores needing attention. As she grew older, she’d been forbidden things like socials at the church and parties given by friends. She’d never even celebrated her own birthday, but she didn’t reveal any of that to him.
Do you want to talk about it?”
No.” It still hurt to talk about how much her mother didn’t love her, and she didn’t know him well enough to trust him with such a painful truth. “Maybe someday.”
Sometimes demons are best conquered when shared.”
The gently spoken words caught her off guard. His face mirrored his voice, but she still refused to reply.
Okay. I won’t press you.”
Thank you.” That he’d respected her wishes caused her to wonder about the man beneath all the arrogance and bluster. Who was he really? Needing to change the topic of conversation because he’d occupied her mind far too much already, she told him about Mr. Rudd’s visit. “He said the cabinets will be ready in a short while.” She’d noticed the way Mr. Rudd’s eyes kept lingering on Alanza during his visit and wondered if the two were sweet on each other. She didn’t ask Logan about that however, because it wasn’t any of her business.
You mentioned you ordered a stove and some other things. That sofa in the parlor is on its last legs. It needs to be replaced as well.”
Ordered one of those, too.” He then proceeded to tell her about all the items he’d ordered, and she found herself speechless. “You picked out china? What’s it look like?”
He shrugged. “It’s white.”
Did someone at the store help you choose it?”
No. I looked through the catalog and found things that resembled the ones Alanza had and put them on the list.”
His explanation went a little ways in allaying her fears about his choices. She supposed she’d just have to wait and see what everything looked like when the items arrived.
They finished off their fish and potatoes, and Mariah wondered how such simple fare could leave her feeling so sated and stuffed. Now, she could return to work on a full stomach. “Thank you for the meal, I should really get back to my chores.”
Not yet. Have a favor to ask first.” Logan appreciated her strong work ethic, but for a man who’d never had a problem holding a woman’s attention, she was giving him a small fit. “My goddaughter will be attending Hampton Institute in a few months, and I’m wondering if you could sew her up a few of those dresses like the one you had on at the train station. She’s worried her clothes won’t be fine enough.”
You have a goddaughter?”
I do. Does that surprise you?”
Why, yes. What’s her name?”
Green Feather. She’s Wiyot Indian. Christian name’s Louisa.” The wonder on her face pleased him.
How many ensembles do you think she’ll be needing?”
I’ve no idea, which is why I thought I’d ask for your help.”
I wasn’t aware that Indians were allowed to advance their education. She must be quite the young woman.”
She is. Reverend Dennis made her enrollment possible. According to him, Hampton has been accepting Indian students since seventy-eight.”
I’d be honored to lend a hand. When may I meet her?”
Her family’s holding a Brush Dance tomorrow evening to bless her success. She specifically asked me to bring you along so the two of you could meet. Would you like to go?”
Because she’d never attended social gatherings back in Philadelphia, Mariah’s first instinct was to decline. Reminding herself that she was no longer in Philadelphia propelled her to accept. “I’d love to attend, but what is a Brush Dance exactly?”
It originated with the Yurok people as a dance to heal a sick child or to bestow blessing on a child. Now, some of the tribes have them to celebrate special events, and Feather going off to Hampton is very special. When I was young, the dance would start on a Wednesday and end at sunrise on Sundays, but because many in the tribes have to work jobs to provide for their families now, the dance begins at the end of the day on Friday.”
Is it like a dance, dance?”
No. No reels or waltzing. This is tribal dancing and only the members are allowed in the circle, but there will be singers and food though. Would you still like to go?”
I would.”
Then we’ll ride over together tomorrow evening. We’ll probably be out fairly late.”
That’s okay.”
For a moment, the silence of the countryside rose between them and as it stretched, his call on her senses grew so intensely she thought it might be best to end this interlude and get back to the distracting drudgery of scrubbing floors. “I—I should get back to my chores.”
Is my company so boring that you prefer housework?”
The humor in his tone made her drop her gaze and smile. “I’m being paid to work, remember?”
Suppose I offer to pay for your companionship?”
Then I’d have to change my title from housekeeper to mistress, and I hear you already have one of those.”
And if I told you she tossed me over for a wedding ring?”
I’d say, bravo for her.”
You’re a hard woman, Mariah Cooper.”
Thank you.” Mariah had never spoken so boldly to a man before, but something told her that boldness would be needed to keep herself from falling into his arms the way half the female population of California was probably wont to do.
I’d like to kiss you again.”
She decided that he was far more bold than she. “No more kisses, thank you very much.”
He closed the distance between them and she felt the dizziness creeping over her again. “Are you thanking me for the kiss?”
You know that isn’t what I meant.”
No?”
No.”
He reached out and traced a whisper-light finger over her lips. Her eyes closed in trembling response. “Hard not to kiss a mouth as sweet-looking as this . . .”
Putting action to words, he touched his lips to hers and kissed her as lightly as he’d touched her. “Very hard . . .”
Not fair . . .” she whispered. The bones in her body were melting away.
All’s fair in passion, querida.”
That word again. That pervasive heat again, and then he was kissing her in earnest and she surrendered, because in spite of all the reasons she wanted to deny him, she couldn’t deny herself the feel of being in his arms, or the desire unfurling inside.
Open your mouth. Let me taste you.”
She complied, and he slipped the fiery tip of his tongue inside, playing, coaxing, seducing her there on the riverbank while the wind rustled the trees and the sun warmed her gently. His hands roaming slowly over the back of her blouse singed the skin beneath. His lips slid over the outer rim of her ear and then her jaw before dropping to set fire to the thin strip of flesh above her lacy high collar. Her head fell back and his tongue teased the spot beneath her chin while a pulse began to beat in the secret place between her thighs. Her mind told her being kissed by him was a terrible idea, but it no longer ruled the day. Ruling now were her senses, and a body enjoying learning what it meant to be a woman in the arms of a man.
And because of that, she didn’t protest when he moved the palm of his hand over the tip of her breast. As the nipple swelled and she crooned, he looked down into her eyes while transferring the bold caress to the twin. The blaze in his eyes matched the blaze coursing through her blood and she couldn’t look away.
Still berrying her nipples expertly, he leaned down and bit them gently through her clothing, which increased the pulsing beat between her thighs to such a spiraling crescendo that she flew apart, shuddering, shaking, and crying out, ”Oh!”
Logan knew an orgasm when he heard one, but wasn’t sure she did, so he held her against him gently while her body rode the waves of completion. “I have you, querida.”
Still in the throes, she moaned, “Oh my.”
Her sweet convulsing made him want her even more, but he sensed this first lesson was about all she could handle for the moment. Now that she’d been initiated into desire there’d be more to come.
When the trembling finally ceased, he kissed her brow and raised her chin. “That’s never happened to you before?” he asked gently.
She gave a hasty shake of her head.
His smile was indulgent. “It’s your body’s way of releasing pleasure.”
So it’s normal?”
Yes.”
I thought I was having a fit of some kind. And don’t you dare laugh.”
I wouldn’t think of it.” He wondered how long he’d be able to hold off taking her in earnest. His blood was still on fire. “Come. Sit with me a moment, so we can talk.” He took her hand and led her the short distance to the bench. He sat, and as she moved to sit beside him, he lifted her onto his lap. When she began to protest he teasingly warned, “Either sit still or I’ll make you orgasm again, this time with your corset around your waist.”
Her eyes popped wide and he found her reaction so endearing, he pulled her close, kissed the top of her hair and smiled above her head to hide his amusement.
Mariah realized that being kissed again hadn’t rendered her immune; if anything she’d fallen deeper into the mire. Her breasts were practically singing and the orgasm continued to resonate inside. Her ability to remain unmoved was being undermined by a body that seemed to be in cahoots with him because it wanted more. Her traitorous body notwithstanding, what she really wanted she doubted he’d be willing to give. “Are you pursuing me simply because you no longer have a mistress? I’m not a girl in a gin house, Logan.”
I’m pursuing you because I seem to have no choice.”
Meaning?”
I’ve never dreamt about a woman before.”
You dreamt of me?”
I did. First night you were here. I was making love to you on the seat of the wagon under the moonlight. It was so vivid, I can still taste you.”
The fire in his eyes singed her so fiercely, she had to look away, but he gently turned her back and said, “And since then, every time I see you, it’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
The wonder in his voice was pleasing, but not enough to keep her from asking what she needed to know. “And when you tire of me? Then what? You move on to someone else?”
This time, he looked away and it gave her pause. Was he uncertain about his answer or simply avoiding one? Either way, she’d made up her mind. “We can’t do this again, Logan. I’m thirty years of age. In society’s eyes, I’m far past the age of marrying, but I want to be a wife and mother. Dallying with you may jeopardize that, so thank you for the kisses and all the rest, but you’ll have to take your kisses elsewhere, because I’m looking for a man who will commit to me and be faithful. It would be unfair to have such expectations of you, knowing who you are.”
And who am I?”
Someone who prefers a mistress to a wife.”
The way the lines of his face hardened made her wonder if she were the first woman to ever refuse his advances. “Please don’t take it personally, but I have expectations, and now, because of you I’ll go to the marriage bed more aware.”
The way his eyes narrowed at her made her suppress her smile. “Have you never been turned down before?”
Not to my recollection.”
Then I’m honored to be the first.” He didn’t appear to be pleased by her jest so she tried to cushion the blow and confessed, “I adore your kisses, but you should save them for someone more worldly, or at least someone who won’t mind being another notch on your bedpost.”
Logan was so outdone he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be outraged. She was actually telling him to take his kisses elsewhere. No, he had no plans to offer marriage. He liked his life the way it was and finding a woman who agreed with those boundaries had never been a problem, but now? The golden-eyed temptress on his lap was refusing to play along, and because he’d never encountered such a situation before, he had no idea how to proceed. Glowering inwardly, he reminded himself that expectations were the main reason he avoided innocents. This was not working out the way he’d planned.
So, can we go back to the house now?” Maria asked. “I really want to finish those chores.”
Certainly. Let’s not allow my desire for you keep you from doing your duty.”
Don’t be angry. At least you know where I stand.”
When his features didn’t soften, she leaned in and kissed him softly on his cheek. “You’ll find another mistress, don’t worry.” And with that, she left his lap and made her way back to the wagon.
She felt good.
Logan didn’t.