“It meant a lot to me too. I love hearing you play. I always have.”
Mitch’s lips thinned and he glanced down at the ground. “Yeah, I remember all that great stuff and I get angry, Gracie. Really fucking angry. And resentful as hell. Because we don’t have that anymore. I can’t pick up my phone and call you when shit goes down with the label. I can’t text you after a show and tell you how it went. I lost my best friend. And that pisses me off.”
“I’m sor—”
“Please don’t apologize. I know you’re sorry. It’s on your face every time I see you,” he laughed bitterly. “I know you regret what happened. God, if I could go back, I’d do things differently. Maybe I wouldn’t have opened that damn door at all.”
Ouch. Okay, that really hurt. Mitch knew how to play rough.
I opened my mouth to explain I didn’t regret being with him. That I could never regret that. I just regretted how I behaved afterwards. It was important that he knew that. I needed to say it and he needed to hear it. But he was still talking. And his next words shut me up.
“I’m with Sophie now. That’s what I should be focused on. I need to be thinking about what the hell I’m going to do if the band falls apart. I have to have a plan. I can’t go through life without one. I’ve been drifting by for long enough.” He ran his hands through his hair. “So I have some shit to sort out. And I can’t be all tied up in knots over you anymore. I can’t worry about what I’ll do if I see you. I can’t spend my nights obsessing over everything you say and don’t say. It’s not fair to Soph. It’s not fair to me. That can’t be my life anymore.”
“This is okay,” he continued. “Us talking and being somewhat normal together. We have to be. My friends are your friends. My town is your town. We’re going to see each other. It’s inevitable. And with Jordan and Maysie getting married, we’re going to be in each other’s lives in one way or another for the foreseeable future. But that’s it. We’ll be old friends that used to be close but have drifted apart.”
“If that’s what you need, Mitch. I understand,” I told him, my voice rough and crushed.
Mitch’s shoulders sagged and he gave me a look that broke my heart all over again. Because I had done this.
I had ruined so much more than I had ever realized.
“It’s the only way it can be, Gracie.” He let out a breath and turned toward Garrett’s house. “I’ll see you later.”
And then he was gone.
“I’ll see ya,” I murmured after he had left.
Day one of my new life.
Wake up.
Get a shower.
Get dressed.
Eat breakfast.
Sit at the kitchen table and try not bang my head against the wood over and over and over again.
It was really fucking boring.
“You’ve been staring at that newspaper for over an hour. Do the words change if you look at it long enough?” Garrett asked, pouring a cup of coffee. He was already dressed, which was surprising considering the guy typically didn’t get out of bed until midday.
“What are you doing up already?” I asked him.
“I’m heading up to see Riley, remember. I’ll be gone until next week.” He dumped three spoonfuls of sugar into his cup and stirred. “No crazy parties until I get back. You can’t have that shit going on unless I’m here to enjoy it.”
“Yes, Dad,” I said, pushing the paper away from me.