I was going to be sick.
I walked around the side of the diner and leaned against the wall. My back collided with brick and I slid down to the ground.
Chunky Monkey.
Our code word that she needed me.
I griped the phone in my hand until hand ached.
My instinct was to call her. To run, head first, into whatever she was offering.
I’ve moved on.
She’s not a part of my life anymore.
My head rolled back and I stared up at the clear, night sky.
“Are you sure it’s okay that I stay here,” she asked, walking into my bedroom with an overnight bag in her hand.
My stomach clenched as I watched her unpack her things. Putting her toothbrush in my bathroom. Her pajamas in my dresser drawer. Her things looked as though they belonged all mixed up with mine. Like she belonged.
And she did.
I just wished she could see that.
But I was a patient guy. I would bide my time. And I knew that the day would come when she’d realize how much I loved her.
“Of course. You can stay as long as you want. Who knows how long Cole and Viv will be at it,” I laughed, hoping she’d never leave.
Gracie sank down on the couch beside me and picked up the extra X-Box controller. We were sitting so close together that I could smell her shampoo. Something fruity. It smelled good. Her leg was pressed up against mine and I waited for her to pull away like she always did.
But she didn’t.
“You’re going down, Abrams,” she teased, giving me her sexy half smile.
God, I loved this woman.
“Not if I take you down first,” I told her and she laughed.
It was my favorite sound in the world.
She had been my best friend.
Gracie knew things about me that I had never told anyone. That I would never tell anyone.
And losing that hurt just as much now as it had when she had pushed me away.
I missed her.
So goddamned much.
I missed my friend. The girl I had played video games with and teamed up with for karaoke. I missed how she always made sure there was a full pint of Chunky Monkey in my freezer when I got home from being on the road.
I missed just being able to pick up the phone to talk to her about stuff that didn’t really matter. Or watching Fresh Prince and singing along to that stupid rap during the opening credits.
And for just a second I could over look all the bad shit that came at the end.
Because when it came to Gracie Cook, I had always been a weak bastard.
So I texted her back.
Do I need to ride to your rescue?
My palms started to sweat again as I hit send and once the message went through I wished I could take it back.
What the hell was I doing?
Why had I responded?
Why the fuck was I opening that door again?
I had Sophie. I had a life that had nothing to do with Gracie.
But in that moment all I could think about was her and how much I wanted that connection that we used to have.
So I waited outside in the freezing cold, my ass growing numb as I sat on the hard ground, just to see if she’d text me back.
I waited an hour.
My phone remained silent.
She had left me hanging.
Again.
“Mmm,” I moaned, my eyes closed.
Mitch was between my thighs and I felt him press into me. I felt so full. I could feel him everywhere.
“I love you so much, Gracie,” he murmured, running his hand down the side of my leg. He pumped his hips and I rose up to meet his thrusts.
He hooked my leg around his waist, angling my body so he could bury himself deeper inside me.
“Harder,” I told him. I wanted him to be rough. I wanted him to take me in a way that left no doubts. I had to know he’d never let me go again.
“Look at me, baby. Please,” he begged. The waves of pleasure pulsed through me. I had never felt anything like it.
“Mitch,” I breathed, my fingers working overtime as my fantasy kicked into high gear.
I didn’t want to open my eyes. I knew that if I did? this would all be over so I ignored him. I wouldn’t listen.