Mitch chuckled. “Damn straight! And I mean it. I love you. I love everything about you. I love your mess and your chaos. I love your ups and I love your downs. And you should know that I wouldn’t jump ship when things get tough. I’ll be here until the bitter end. If you let me, that is.”
There it was again. The fear. Would it always be there? Would he ever be able to trust me not to leave?
But I had done this. So I would have to work to make it better.
And I knew I was up for the challenge.
Because Mitch was worth it.
“I can’t undo what’s already been done. I wish that I could, but I can’t. But I can promise to do everything I can to regain your trust. In me. In us. In what I feel for you.” I kissed his chin and laid my cheek on his chest. “I won’t screw this up again.”
“I’ll hold you to it,” Mitch said lightly, and I could feel his laughter vibrate through me.
We were quiet for a while; my coffee growing cold, but I didn’t care.
“What happened with Sophie?” I asked softly. Maybe I should let it go. Did it really matter? They weren’t together anymore and he was here with me.
But I wanted to know. I couldn’t help it.
“You made me think the other night. After I brought you home from the botanical gardens. At first I was pissed because how dare you give me shit for being wishy washy.” He gave me a squeeze and I grimaced.
“I guess I was the queen of wishy washy,” I admitted.
“You were. But I’ve been pretty bad about it too. So after I left here, I went to Jordan’s. He’s a mouthy bastard, but he’s pretty good at calling me on my bullshit. We talked. He told me about Maysie being pregnant. And he helped me sort through the mess in my head. Sometimes, even when you know the answer, it helps having someone else point it out for you,” he said, his fingers tracing circles on my back.
“I’m glad the mouthy bastard was able to help you see straight,” I chuckled.
“I’ll make sure to tell him you said that,” Mitch snickered. “Anyway, after getting sage advice from Mr. Levitt, I went to Sophie’s. She got pissed. Called me a selfish ass, then she threw me out of her house.”
“Crap,” I muttered.
Mitch sighed. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less. What I did to her was wrong. I led her on. I was a total dick and I deserved everything she threw at me.”
“She’ll be okay, right?” I asked. Even though I wasn’t a fan of Sophie, as one woman to another, I felt bad for her. I didn’t want my happiness to come at the price of someone else’s pain.
Mitch kissed the top of my head. “I hurt her. We were together a long time. But I’m pretty sure that once the dust settles she’ll see it was the best thing for her. We weren’t in love. We never had been. We went into our relationship for the wrong reasons. Sophie wanted an ideal that didn’t exist, and I wanted to try to forget about you. Neither was possible.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. It was inadequate but it was all I could say.
Mitch rolled me over so that I was underneath him. He framed my face in his hands and looked down at me, his brow furrowed. “Don’t be sorry, Gracie. What happened with Sophie is on me. Only me. She’s a sweet girl. She helped me through a difficult time, but she wasn’t what my heart wanted.”
I turned my head to the side to avoid his eyes. Sometimes his gaze was too much. Too intense. “I don’t like starting something on top of a pile of wreckage.”
“Look at me, G,” Mitch commanded softly.
When I didn’t comply right away, he gently gripped my chin between his fingers and turned my head so that I was forced to look at him.
“We’ve never had things easy, you and me. But the best things in life aren’t easy. And I’ve spent too long not fighting for this. For us. I won’t make that mistake again. We have to learn from what happened and move on. Together. Because that’s the only way either of us will be happy. And you know it. I can’t pretend anymore, and neither can you.”
“I know,” I sighed.
“I hate that Sophie was caught in the middle of it all. But that’s on me. I should never have tried to force my heart to love anyone but you. It’s impossible. I knew it, but I was a stubborn ass.”