Desire by Design

chapter Twelve


Matt’s curiosity was piqued by the armload of blankets Eve was carrying to her car.

It was getting late, and the Doucette family reunion was finally winding down. He rested a shoulder against the weathered support of the veranda as the sounds of the few guests who remained inside the house drifted through the open windows into the still night air. He could hear the sounds of the Bay of Fundy not far off. City boy that he was—and a mainlander—to him it sounded like the static of a radio station gone off air.

“Need some help?” he asked Eve.

She waved him off without looking at him, although her cheeks reddened noticeably in the soft glow of the yard light. Her hair was long and loose, the way he liked it, curling down the slender line of her back. A corner of one blanket trailed in the dirt behind her.

Matt’s heart trailed along with it. If she ever wanted him even a fraction as much as Matt wanted her, he’d consider himself a lucky man.

“I can manage.” She tossed the blankets into the back of her car then looked up at him with a challenge in her pretty eyes. She fixed a hand on her hip. “Well? Are you coming or not?”

Whatever she was planning, it had something to do with him. Matt bit the inside of his cheek to hide his satisfaction. He loped down the steps, his long legs taking them two at a time.

“I wouldn’t miss this.”

The moon was bright and full and yellow, lighting their path as they drove down the narrow, winding dirt road that dipped from her parents’ home to a deserted beach strewn with rocks and boulders. The waters of the bay stroked against the night sky—gleaming obsidian beneath black velvet.

Eve parked at the breakwater and turned off the engine. “The tide’s out,” she said. “Good thing, because I never thought to check the schedule.”

“Does it make a difference?”

“Yes.” She slanted a look at him. “The Bay of Fundy has the highest recorded tides in the world. When it’s in, there isn’t any beach. And it comes in fast.” She opened her car door and took off her shoes. “Do you want to bring the blankets?”

Blankets, a beautiful woman, and a moonlit, deserted beach. All signs indicated he was being romanced. He crossed his fingers.

The night air was cool and fresh, and tasted like salt. Seals barked off in the distance. Matt took off his shoes and followed after Eve, the blankets bundled in his arms.

Skipping nimbly from rock to rock, she quickly outdistanced him. She wobbled once, and he held his breath until, with arms outstretched, she righted herself. It was so typical of her—to go running ahead without a thought for danger, not waiting to see if maybe he might like to hold her hand to make sure she was safe.

A large, flat boulder, tilted at one end like a table with two shortened legs, jutted out from the cliff wall. She clambered up, then turned to laugh at his slower progress as he picked his way carefully toward her by the pale light of the moon. A slight breeze lifted her hair.

Matt stopped to enjoy the sight of her. She looked so happy and carefree, and he wondered if he could design a house that would do justice to this image, and how he felt at this moment. Eve might not care for his art, but she knew how his mind worked because hers worked the same way. She’d understand the message he was trying to convey in the design.

It took him a second to figure out what that message was.

When he did, Matt closed his eyes and tried to start breathing again. He hadn’t asked for this. He hadn’t wanted it. He hadn’t planned to fall in love with Eve…but he had. He hoped he wouldn’t be stupid enough to blurt that out at the worst possible moment, because she clearly wasn’t ready for it.

Eve might know how to say what was on her mind, but when it came to what she felt in her heart, actions spoke louder than words. Tonight was her message to him, a first step on her part, and he didn’t want to do or say anything to frighten her off.

He paused below her, then handed up the blankets. The surf pounded behind them, while the wind sighed through the trees at the top of the cliff. She touched his cheek with one cold, wet toe.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

That she looked like a siren in the moonlight, luring him onto the rocks and toward certain destruction.

But oh, baby, what a way to go.

Instead of answering her question, he hoisted his frame up beside her. The boulder was smooth beneath his hands and still warm from the day’s heat. He wrapped a blanket around them both, then took her face in his palms. She closed her eyes, and he kissed them each in turn. The small breath she expelled was warm against his throat as desire washed over him.

His fingers trickled to the neck of her blouse and trembled, nearing the first button. He hesitated, waiting for a protest, but she made no sound. He slid the small, smooth orb from the fabric, then drifted on to the next one—and the next. A cloud skimmed across the moon, plunging their tiny world into a pool of inky darkness.

He had no idea what he should do next or what she might like. All he knew was what she didn’t want, and what she didn’t want was forever.

He told himself to go slow, to be careful not to scare her, not to leap on her and kiss every inch of her he could reach.

Not yet, anyway.

She stroked the backs of her fingers along the side of his cheek. He turned his head slightly and kissed her knuckles.

“You have an amazing face,” she said, tracing his lips. “It’s like one of your designs. All smooth curves over reinforced steel.”

“You hate my designs.”

“Not all of them,” she said, with that touch of honesty he found so appealing. “And I do like your face.”

“Especially my nose, right?”

“Among other things. You aren’t the only one who can have a list.”

He slipped his hands inside her shirt and against the warmth of her bare flesh, feeling the sudden leap of her heart. She clutched at him and drew him closer, the tip of her tongue tasting the V at the base of his neck. His own heart quickened.

“Do you want this, Eve?” He hated that he had to ask.

“Yes…I do.” Her words were husky and laced with the same desire that Matt himself fought so hard to control. He buried his face in her hair.

“Then ask me for it,” he demanded softly. He knew she was afraid of commitment. He supposed that was to be expected, considering everything that had happened in her life. He didn’t, however, want her to be afraid with him. Nor did he want to be the only one feeling something special. Was there a chance that Eve might learn to love him? Or was he foolish to think they might someday have more between them than the casual affair she claimed to want?

For what seemed like forever, there was silence. Then, her hands glided gently over him. “Let me show you.”

“Not yet.” Matt captured the corner of her soft mouth with a light touch from his own. “First, I have to hear you say it.”

She drew back slightly, and he decided he was nuts to make her ask. What would he do if she refused?

“I want this, Matt…please.” Her voice was low, steady, and certain against his chest.

The moon peeked out from behind the clouds, only to disappear again a few seconds later. The ice-cold fingers that had curled around his heart slowly eased their grip as she slipped her arms around his waist and held him tight.

They spread the blankets over the hard rock, then undressed slowly, punctuating their progress with little kisses in out-of-the-way places. Matt loved the feel of her. She was soft and silky, and melted into sighs when he touched her.

She rubbed the back of his leg with her foot, the rough friction only making him want her more. She trailed the tips of her fingers across his lips and jaw, then kissed his bare chest.

“Please,” she begged, and Matt drew her on top of him, his hands on her hips as he guided them together.

He should be embarrassed by how ready he was for her, but he’d waited too long and wanted her too much, and soon her cries of pleasure echoed with his.

…

They lay together for a long time afterward, listening to the sounds of the night and the beating of their hearts. Eve’s was tripping along like a jackhammer.

Matt kissed the side of her neck, and her nerve endings sent out thousands of tiny electric impulses. Her shoulder jerked in response.

“You’re ticklish.” He said it as if it were some wondrous discovery. He wrapped his arms and the blanket more tightly around her, and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Are you cold?”

“No.” How could she possibly be cold? She snuggled in deeper. It was nice having him fuss over her. Waves lapped against the rocks. “I used to come here a lot when I was a teenager,” she said, trying to think of something about herself to share with him that wasn’t physical. He said nothing, but she could tell he was listening. “I’d lie here and look at the stars and dream about what I was going to do with my life.”

He stroked her back with long, gentle fingers, and she stretched, kitten-like, from her head to her toes.

“What things did you dream?”

She’d dreamed silly girl dreams. The kind where Prince Charming rode into town, declared his undying love, and whisked her away with him. Then Eve had discovered princes weren’t always charming, undying love could be creepy, and that she didn’t want to be whisked away. She wanted to walk on her own two feet.

“I can’t remember,” she said.

The stroke of his fingers turned into a gentle rub of the palm of his hand. “Dreams are supposed to be about your heart’s desire,” he whispered against her hair.

“My heart doesn’t have any desire.”

“Hmm,” he murmured.

She knew what was coming. She’d expected it long before this, but he wasn’t the type of person to invade someone else’s privacy without an invitation. By sleeping with him, she’d just given him one—gold-embossed, no less.

“Did your heart have desire when you were married?”

She didn’t want to think about her marriage. She wanted to put it all behind her, and for five years, she’d tried to do just that. But Cyril had suggested she share something with Matt she’d never shared with anyone else, and this would have to be it. She drew her arms up between them and hugged herself, feeling naked on the inside as well as out.

“Claude’s a marine biologist. I was so impressed with him when we first met. He was smart, and sweet, and said all the right things. I should have paid more attention to what he was doing, which was cutting me off from everyone I knew. I was a possession to him. He expected me to do whatever he said and got angry if I didn’t. For a long time, I thought he knew best because he was so much smarter and better educated than me.” She forced herself to be matter-of-fact. “The first time I really argued with him was when he wanted me to move to an island in the Pacific. He’d done all the paperwork without telling me, even took my passport. I said I wasn’t going, and he raised a hand to hit me. I broke his nose and gave him two black eyes. And now I have the dubious distinction of being the only Doucette ever to have gotten a divorce. My family is very proud of me. Perhaps you can tell?”

“And you never told your family because your brothers would have killed him.”

“Not really,” Eve said. She was honest with him. “I didn’t want anyone to find out how big a mistake I’d really made. I felt stupid.”

Matt rolled over on his side and pulled her with him, then kissed the tip of her nose. He stared down at her in the waning light of the moon. “Claude’s not the only one out there who knows how to manipulate people who trust him. That doesn’t make you stupid. And I don’t think you’ll hold your divorce-record distinction in the family forever. Not with those guys for brothers.”

Eve laughed. And then, she knew. If she could have the one thing her heart desired at this very moment, it would be Matt’s love. And if he gave her his, then she could give him hers. But never again was she going to offer something so valuable until she was sure she’d get it back.

“I’m sorry if tonight wasn’t romantic enough for you,” she said. “But this is the best I could do.”

He ran his finger down the curve of her cheek. “It’s better than enough.” He pulled them both to a sitting position. “But I think right now, we’re going to have to move to higher ground. My feet are getting wet.”

“Your feet?” Eve grabbed his arm and tried to peer over the side of the boulder into the darkness beyond. Suddenly, the lapping of the waves sounded all too close. She stretched down her fingers and felt sprays of water, then frantically patted the rock around them.

“Matt? Where are our clothes?”

It was worth the loss of their clothes to hear her laughter, but next time—and Matt seriously hoped there would be a next time—he was going to make sure that nothing got knocked off their perch.

On the bright side, at least they still had the blankets.

“Hurry,” she urged, preparing to slip into the black, frothy water. “We’ve got to get to the breakwater before the tide comes all the way in.”

They picked their way over slippery rocks covered in sharp barnacles that scratched their feet. The icy saltwater itched Matt’s skin and soon made his lower body go numb.

“This water’s cold!” He didn’t bother mentioning which part of him found it the coldest.

“Tell me about it,” Eve said.

Matt could hear her teeth chattering. The water wasn’t deep, but each wave submerged her to the waist before receding. She’d draped one of the blankets around her neck to try and keep it dry. He carried the other two around his own.

A slimy object wrapped around his ankle, something that normally wouldn’t have bothered him, but in the darkness it was decidedly unsettling. He hoped it was seaweed.

He could see the breakwater outlined against the night sky, and just above it, moonlight glinting off the side of the car. He steadied her elbow, helping her stay upright against the determined tug of the undertow. “It’s not much farther.”

They reached the car without any serious missteps, thank goodness. All Matt could think about was getting Eve warm.

“Give me the keys,” he said. “I’ll start the car and crank the heater up for you.”

She clutched a blanket around herself, shivering. “I don’t have the keys. They were in my pocket.”

And her pocket was in her shorts, which were probably half way to New Brunswick by now. He slumped against the car. Only Eve could have gotten them in this situation. He raised an eyebrow. And then he had to laugh. “Have you noticed that all our evenings together seem to end in some kind of disaster?”

“We still have our shoes.” She pointed to them, neatly lined up beneath the car’s bumper. “The moon is out, and it’s only a twenty-minute walk.”

A twenty-minute walk on a dirt road in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but sneakers and smiles. Matt again gave thanks for the blankets. “That’s what I like about you, Eve. You’re such a problem solver.”

He rubbed her legs with a blanket to warm them before they started off, then insisted she wrap two of the blankets around herself.

Crickets chirped in the fields, and every once in a while, small animals could be heard rustling through the raspberry bushes along the side of the road. Eve, however, was much too quiet for Matt’s liking. She wasn’t already regretting the evening, was she?

How could she possibly regret it? As far as he was concerned, tonight was a win. He’d tried his best to be sensitive and not rush her to say things she might not be ready for, but he loved her so much his whole body throbbed with the force of it. He couldn’t believe he was the only one feeling it. Maybe she just needed more time.

The minute he got her home to Halifax, he was going to find a way to show her that he loved her. He had a business to run, and he’d put off that trip to Toronto for far too long, but he needed her to understand that he planned to be there for her. One thought cheered him immensely: construction projects never ran on schedule.

They took a shortcut through a dew-soaked meadow of thigh-high timothy. By the time they reached the house, only the front light remained on. Eve and Matt kept to the shadows.

Matt looked down at his blanket-wrapped body. “How are we supposed to get inside without anyone seeing us?”

“I’ve done this lots of times,” Eve assured him. “We’ll slip around the side of the house. I’ll crawl up the trellis and in my bedroom window, then toss out some clothes for you. You can come in the front door.”

On the surface there didn’t seem to be any serious flaws with her plan—until she handed him her blanket. He tried to close his mouth. She was braver than he was. A little nudity didn’t seem to bother her in the least. Matt wouldn’t even consider the possibility of scaling that trellis with his bare backside—among other things—hanging out.

“You’re climbing up naked?” he whispered.

“How do you expect me to hold on to a blanket?” she whispered back, preparing to hoist herself up.

Good point.

“Hurry up, then.”

The trellis didn’t look too sturdy as she climbed. Matt breathed a sigh of relief once she’d swung her legs over the windowsill and disappeared, then developed a sudden, uncomfortable itch between his shoulder blades. Someone was watching him. He heard a low growl and turned his head. Green eyes glowed in the shadows. Riel.

Last night, when Matt hadn’t wanted his affection, Riel had slobbered him with doggie loving. Now he was growling. Talk about fickle.

“Nice boy.” Matt put out his hand to pat him, then remembered that wasn’t a good idea. He held his fingers low so Riel could smell them instead. “See? It’s just me.”

The dog ignored Matt’s fingers with a regal sniff of disdain. He padded closer, and Matt could hear the crackle of arthritic joints. And faster than Matt would have thought possible considering the dog’s age and infirmities, Riel snatched at the blanket.

A game of tug-of-war began.

“Let go, boy,” Matt said softly, wishing Eve would hurry up with his clothes so he could let the dog have the stupid blanket. Riel growled louder in response.

Maybe if he let Riel have this blanket, Matt could wrap the other around himself instead. He let go just as an upstairs light flickered on.

Please let that be Eve.

Footsteps crunched in the gravel behind him, and the next thing he knew, a flashlight beam had caught him in its glare. Riel shook the blanket between his teeth, and Matt clutched the other in his arms.

“If you wanted to play with the dog, couldn’t you at least have waited until morning?” Giles asked.

Matt had no response. He was too busy trying to cover as much of himself as possible. Riel gave one last, satisfied growl then backed away, grinning at Matt as if well pleased. Oh, yeah. Man’s best friend.

Eve stuck her head out of the bedroom window, having taken the time to pull on her nightdress. Thank you, God. Now if only she’d keep quiet about what they’d been up to.

“I thought we’d agreed you wouldn’t run naked around the neighborhood anymore,” she called down.

On second thought, he’d much rather she’d told her father what they’d been up to.

In detail.

Giles slapped the flashlight into Matt’s hand. “You might need this if that’s what you have in mind,” he said. “The nearest neighbor is two kilometers away.” He walked off, calling for the dog to follow him.

Matt shone the light up at Eve, loving the mischief romping in her eyes despite the acute embarrassment she’d caused. “Thanks. You were a big help.”

“Don’t mention it,” she said.

…

“But what I still don’t understand is what happened to his clothes?”

“They got caught in the tide,” Eve said to her mother.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Therese watched as Eve packed her suitcase. “Couldn’t he figure out for himself that it’s too cold and rocky to swim, especially at night? Even if he couldn’t, why wouldn’t he leave his clothes higher up on the beach? And why didn’t he think to check the car for the keys before walking home in the dark?”

Eve wondered what Matt was going to have to say about the keys. He’d been tight-lipped all morning, ever since her father had driven him down to look for them on the off chance they might have gotten caught between the rocks. As it turned out, Eve had left them in the ignition, not her pocket. She’d also left the car doors unlocked.

Eve rolled her eyes and turned to her mother in exasperation. “You might as well know the truth. We were having sex on the beach. The tide came in and washed our clothes away. I thought the car keys were in my pocket, so we walked home. I climbed up the trellis and in the bedroom window. You know the rest.”

“Fine.” Her mother smoothed a hand over the crocheted bedspread. “Don’t tell me what you were doing, then. You’re an adult. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

This was what happened whenever Eve tried to talk to her mother. They ended up angry with each other because her mother didn’t want to see the truth, and the truth was, Eve wasn’t perfect. Far from it. She did stupid things sometimes. She couldn’t be the daughter her mother wanted her to be.

But she would like to end this visit on a different note. Just once it would be nice to part from her mother on good terms. The dolls on the shelves scowled accusingly down at her through their shiny, lifeless eyes. Say something, they urged her.

But what?

“Would you mind if I took my dolls home with me?” she asked.

“Do you really want them?” Her mother seemed genuinely pleased. Even after all these years, those dolls still meant something to her. Eve was ashamed she’d only asked for them now because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Yes, I really want them.” She’d build shelves in the spare room for them. That way, those glassy, lifeless eyes could stare at Matt first thing in the morning. Assuming, of course, Matt still planned on sleeping in the spare room.

Things had gotten very complicated between them. Eve preferred straightforward and simple. She hated this guessing, but she hated having to ask even more.

“I’ll get a box for them,” her mother said.

Therese hurried out of the room as if afraid Eve might suddenly change her mind, rushing past Matt, who was standing in the hall. The look he gave Eve was warm and approving, and she was suddenly embarrassed to be caught in another sentimental moment.

“Just for that, I’m not going to say anything about the car keys,” he told her.

“Thank you.”

She wanted to wrap her arms around his big, reassuring body, but was uncertain of her right to do so. They’d agreed on casual. She’d done her part to romance him, just as he’d wanted. She had no idea what their boundaries now were.

They packed the dolls in the box her mother provided, then Matt carried them to the car.

“I hope you’ll be with Eve the next time she comes home,” her mother told him as they said their good-byes.

“He might be back in Toronto by then,” Eve said to her mother, mainly to see what Matt’s reaction would be.

He tucked the box of dolls into the back seat and closed the door. “I’ll just have to make sure we visit again before then.”

Eve got behind the wheel. Matt seemed preoccupied, and that made her nervous, so she babbled a bit about her work and some of the restoration projects she’d worked on as they drove.

“Historic reconstruction and restoration is a specialty of yours, isn’t it?” Matt asked. “I hear there’s an art gallery restoration project slated to go ahead for next year. Are you planning to bid on it?”

“I’d like to,” Eve said. “But most of that work is done by invitation to tender, and I’ve never passed their initial screening criteria.”

After that, he spoke very little. Instead, he spent most of the drive on his cell phone, talking to Toronto. It was business, and he apologized several times, but consequently, neither one of them was in an especially good mood by the time they reached Halifax that evening.

The city’s lights glittered on the black waters of the harbor as they crossed the MacKay Bridge and headed for home. Matt carried their bags and the dolls upstairs, and Eve went outside to drag her compost container to the curb for pickup in the morning.

The neighborhood was quiet.

Then a man stepped into the pale glow from the streetlight at the end of her driveway.

“Hey, Eve,” Claude said.