It’s smaller than I remember, smellier too. I guess pain warps your memories. In my head, this was hell, and when I have nightmares about it, it all seems so much…more. I guess facing it now is making me realise I have been building this place up in my head, and now that I’m standing here, I’m not afraid.
My eyes return to the man who caused me so much misery. His shirt is dirty, stained, and ripped in places. His beard and hair are unkempt, his eyes blurry from whatever he was drinking or shooting up. His body is almost wasting away, lanky and skinny now, smaller than I remember too. His face is gaunt, his eyes sunken in, and his hair is thinning and greasy.
I can’t believe I used to be so terrified of this man. Walking around the couch, I drop onto the edge of the stained cushion and stare at him. “Hi, Dad, how have you been?”
He snorts and turns his head to spit on the carpet, making me purse my lips in disgust. “The fuck you want? We had a deal.”
“Oh, yes, me for your debt. I mean, really, Rob, still using me as your punching bag because you’re not adult enough to deal with your own issues?” I laugh bitterly.
He narrows his eyes on me, but looks to Ryder. “Better control your cunt before I remind her who’s still the man of this house.”
“Not you by the looks of it,” I snap, bringing his eyes back to me. “They won’t help you, they are here to help me.”
“The fuck you talking about, girlie?” he sneers, leaning forward and sniffing hard, wiping at his stained mouth.
“The fuck I mean is I’m one of them now, and they don’t take well to anything or anyone being able to hurt us. Like you, Rob, you just keep coming back. I could have walked away if you had let me go when I ran, but you didn’t, you sold me. You inserted yourself back in my life again. Yes, it worked out well for me, but I can’t have that happening again. All it would take is the wrong person to come knocking, and you would fold like a cheap fucking suit and the rat you are. I will not let you put us in danger,” I snap.
“Fine, whatever you say, what will it take to make you go away again?” He sighs, not getting it. I shake my head at him and wag my finger.
“Nothing you can afford,” I taunt.
He just laughs and leans back, his body seeming incapable of holding him up. I watch him then, really watch him, and realise just what a broken man he is. He has nothing or no one but the bar booze he drinks. He’s getting older and will probably die soon from all the abuse he has put his body through.
I can’t do it, I can’t kill him. Not because I still fear him or love him, but because he’s nothing. He’s pathetic, he’s a ghost, and killing him won’t bring my mother back or stop the nightmares. It won’t change my past, and I wouldn’t want it to. So I stand up, ready to leave. I got what I needed here—closure. My past is dead and forgotten like this house, and I will leave the ashes where they lie.
Buried.
“I have money!” he yells, staring at me. “Take the money, girl, and we can be a family again!”
I cringe at the word on his lips, and my men step closer.
“I don’t want to be part of your family, I have my own,” I reply coolly.
“Do as you’re fucking told and listen to your daddy,” he barks, puffing up like he used to back then, but now he just looks pathetic.
“Don’t worry, she does, and she will be calling me daddy later.” Diesel smirks even as I gag and glare at him.
“No I fucking won’t.”
My dad laughs bitterly, and I glance back at him. “Yeah, least ya finally turned out good for something, right, girl? A whore for money.”
It goes silent for a moment as the world holds its breath before my men burst into action, all rushing him. I watch them grab him, but a coldness flows through me, an anger…an anger to hurt the man who hurt me.
“Stop,” I order calmly, and they do, all looking back at me. “Drop him.”
Again, they do, and step back, their eyes on me as I stop before my wheezing father, his face red as he falls to the floor. Crouching there, I tilt my head as I watch him. I used to fear this man so much, he haunted my every step, but now my Vipers do, replacing him. How can I fear this-this broken man, when I have seen the evil the world has to offer and the snakes that fill my bed?
He is weak.
He is pathetic.
This place is nothing but a house, and he is nothing but a man.
Me? I’m a fucking snake, baby.
“I used to be so fucking scared of you,” I admit, those ghosts and phantom fears rising within me. “I used to fear the dark because it was when you hurt me, but then I faced those demons. I looked into the dark and embraced my fear because hurt comes both day and night. The monsters don’t wait for the sun to set, this isn’t a goddamn fairy tale. This is life and monsters…monsters are everywhere. But they are human. Flesh and blood like me and you. I hated you for so long, your control over me even after I left. But I’m finally moving on, and to do that, to move on from you, I have to forgive you. To yank those claws free, to let the pain and the fear go. To forgive the dark and myself for hating you for so long and holding onto that until it warped me.” He blinks hard in confusion. “I see it now—how weak you are. Your own fear is in your eyes, fear of yourself. Of what you are…of what you have become, but, Daddy? You should fear what you created more.”
“What the fuck—”
I shake my head and slap him, shutting him up. “I’m talking, and you will fucking listen!” I yell. “I was ready to walk away, to leave you here to rot, but now? Now I won’t. You will never hurt my family or me again.
“Maybe it would make me a better person, a stronger person, to walk away, but fuck knows I don’t care. I don’t care that I want to kill you, and what that means for me and my soul, because these men? They love me for it, and I’m tired of fighting myself. I am who I am. Born out of blood and pain, I’m a fucking Viper.”
“You are nothing, just a cheap whore sleeping her way to the top, and when they don’t want you anymore, they will throw you away.” He chuckles.
“Nah, they won’t.” I laugh. “We are family, we are the thing people fear in the dark now. All of us are born from necessity, from people like you. They slayed their pasts, and now it’s time for me to do the same. So any last words, Father?”
“Fuck you,” he snarls, throwing himself at me.
I move, my hand already cupping the blade at my hip. He blinks in astonishment as I stare at him from inches away, my knife buried in his chin, piercing it from underneath and spearing into his mouth as blood bubbles at his lips. His eyes dart from side to side in fear. “Not very inventive last words, but they will do,” I murmur. “Don’t ever fuck with the Vipers.”
I pull the blade free and quickly slice it across his throat. Blood sprays me as his jugular is cut, covering my face and chest until I have to blink the droplets from my lashes. I can taste it on my lips, but I still don’t move as I stare into his eyes.
His hands come up to cover his neck, but Diesel is there and slaps them away quickly, laughing as we all watch the man, my father, finally meet the end he deserves.
Maybe I should have walked away, been a good person, and let him live.
But I never claimed to be a good fucking person.
It takes longer than I would have expected, and when he finally stills, his chest unmoving, his eyes are still open…but empty. Like me. Because I feel nothing. I thought I would, but I don’t. This was just another job to do, to take care of.
Diesel leans into my view, his hand tracing down my cheek and coming away covered in blood. “I love you, Little Bird, it’s over.”
I nod, and he leans in, uncaring of the blood, and presses his lips to mine as I feel the others move closer, always there, always protecting me.
Sometimes you don’t need to find a hero, it’s enough to find someone who will stand with you in the dark and not be afraid of blood and death. No, sometimes you don’t need a hero…you need a criminal, a villain.
“Let’s go home, love,” Ryder murmurs, as his hand lands on my shoulder and squeezes.
Yes, home.
With my men, my family.
My Vipers.
Chapter Sixty-Five
DIESEL
Two weeks have passed since Roxy killed her dad. We dealt with the aftermath of course, calling in clean-up and our police buddies so they would never know what really happened. Just another junkie dying in the slums. That’s how they spin it.
He can never hurt her again.
If she hadn’t killed him, I would have for what he did to her. He deserved worse, but it was her justice to give, and she did so beautifully… I could taste his blood on her lips when I kissed her. Can still hear her screams as Ryder and I washed her clean in the shower and filled up that emptiness we saw in her eyes with pleasure.