My chest swelled, warmth flooding through me at the proof she was thinking of me. Me! Thank fuck for that; I hardly needed more reasons to kill that muscle-bound prick. Grinning like an idiot, I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her silken hair.
I fell asleep like that, with her skin against mine and her breath fanning my chest. It was the deepest I’d slept since… well, since she fucked me into exhaustion and I didn’t even notice that she’d bled me to write a message on the mirror. Something about sleeping with her let my brain fully rest unlike ever before.
When I woke, though, she wasn’t as close as when I’d closed my eyes. She still faced me, her angelic features soft and her dark lashes splayed over her pale cheeks, but the distance had been created by the big brown hand around her waist. That fucking hand had wiggled her out of my embrace and into its own.
Simmering with blind fury, I reached my hand underneath Danny’s pillow, my fingers closing around the hilt of the knife she kept there.
Her eyelids snapped open the moment I tried to slide the knife out, her gaze locking with mine.
Don’t, she mouthed at me, her glare hard with warning.
I scowled back, shooting a death glare at the slumbering giant wrapped around her back. Motherfucker must have crept in like a damn mouse not to wake us up. I would have been impressed if I wasn’t plotting his bloody demise.
“Let me kill him,” I breathed, soft enough that he wouldn’t hear me. “Please. I’ll do it so quick.”
I tried pulling the knife from under her pillow again, but she wrapped her fingers around my wrist, stopping me.
“No,” she whispered, unwilling to even negotiate.
My eyes narrowed and my jaw twitched with frustration. “Why not?”
She exhaled a sigh, then turned her face slightly to glance at the dead weight draped over her. The way her expression softened, though, was like a cigarette burn to my heart.
“Because,” she finally whispered, shifting her eyes back to me with that soft, loving look still on her face. “I like him.”
That only made me want to kill him more. But that look was my kryptonite.
Swallowing my murderous desires down, I forced myself to release the knife under her pillow and withdraw my hand. “Fine,” I muttered, accepting the defeat.
She reached out and touched a hand to my cheek, turning my face back to hers. “I like you, too, Bunny.”
I smirked. She didn’t like me. She loved me. But knowing what I knew about her upbringing, it didn’t worry me that she couldn’t say the words out loud. She hadn’t grown up with a therapist for a mother, like I had, forcing me to confront my own thoughts and feelings at every session. According to my darling mother, our own mind could be our strongest enemy or our most valuable ally. The difference was in whether we ran from our truths or confronted them head-on.
In saying that, my mom also fucked me up so bad I thought I was incapable and undeserving of love and affection. So maybe Danny’s childhood under the whip of the Guild would have been preferable.
My response was to brush my lips over hers, taking one soft, sweet kiss while the meathead snored softly behind her. Ugh, I hated snorers. Maybe I could suffocate him with a pillow if we ended up in this situation again. That could be an accident, right?
“Make me coffee?” Danny asked sweetly, her whispering breath warming my lips.
I kissed her again, not really giving a fuck if we woke up dickhead. “For you, mon cœur, I’d do anything.” And I fucking meant it, even if it killed me to do so. Shooting another death glare at the piece of shit holding her waist, I slipped out of the bed and left the room.
My woman wanted coffee, then I’d make her the most delicious coffee she’d ever put in her mouth. Then I’d put something else in her mouth.
With a renewed sense of excitement for the coming day—or what was left of it—I headed back to “my” room to get dressed. I paused when I passed the room I’d locked Kai into this morning. The doorframe was splintered and broken, like an enraged bull had kicked it down.
Chuckling to myself, I almost wished I’d seen it. I bet he was pissed.
39
The door clicked softly closed after Leon, and Kai’s grip on my waist tightened instantly. I wondered how long he’d been awake, listening in on my whispered conversation with Leon.
“Is he gone?” the big guy at my back rumbled, pulling me closer into his body.
I bit back a dizzy grin. “Yeah, he’s making me coffee. You have a bit of a death wish, huh, Big Man?”
He kissed my shoulder, then rolled me over to face him. “Apparently. Was he thinking about killing me in my sleep?”
I nodded, lifting the corner of my pillow to show him the knife under there. “You gotta be more careful unless you want to wake up with a Colombian necktie.”
Kai’s eyes widened slightly, and he swallowed visibly. “Should I be worried, Siren?”
I laughed at that, unable to help myself. “Oh, Kai… baby… you should be terrified. But that’s not going to chase you away anytime soon, is it?”
“Hell no,” he growled, then pinned me down to kiss me until I was breathless and turned on as all fuck. Dammit. That totally contradicted my decision to quit fucking around until we could iron out some peace between the three of us.
With sizable willpower, I pushed him away to catch my breath. “Kai… we should talk.”
He grimaced. “Do we have to? I’d much rather…” His lips found mine again, his hand stroking across my bare skin beneath my T-shirt. Crap.
“Yes,” I gritted out, my palms flat on his chest to push him back. “We have to. Last night got intense, super intense. And unless you want me to stab you for being infuriating, I suggest we clear the air.”
He pouted but nodded and shifted back onto his side, giving me space.
Thank fuck for that, too. Ideally, I needed a cold shower, but oxygen would have to do. “Where do we even start?” I whispered, overwhelmed by all the crowded thoughts and feelings inside me.
Kai gave a thoughtful look, then a quick nod. “Easy. I’m sorry.”
My brows rose in surprise, and I rolled to my side to take a better look at him. “Are you… fucking with me? This is serious, Kai.”
His full lips curled into a smile. “I’m not fucking with you. I’d fuck you if you’re up for it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m dead serious. I am sorry. I let my temper get the better of me last night, and it just kept snowballing. I was way out of line, and I don’t even know how to start making up for it.”
I frowned, at a loss for words for a moment. “Um, that’s… very mature. I’m not used to men offering apologies so easily.”
Kai chuckled. “Mature is the last thing I feel around you, Siren. My brain gets all fucking scrambled sometimes, and I do stupid shit… like trying to fight a Guild executioner. What the shit was I thinking?” He winced and I brushed my fingers over the mottled bruising covering his ribs.
“Yeah, that wasn’t smart,” I agreed. “But I get it. That wasn’t… an amazing situation to walk in on.”
He exhaled heavily, scrubbing a huge hand over his face. “Yeah. Then there was that whole discussion here when we got back…”
I wrinkled my nose, teasing. “Discussion? That’s what we’re gonna call that temper tantrum?” I mean, I wasn’t exactly blameless on that topic either. But he started it.
Kai groaned. “You make me feel like a goddamn teenager, Danny. Like a hormonal boy with his first real crush. I’m so far gone on you, I’m like…” He trailed off with a frustrated sound, and I gave a gentle smile.
“Like a baby tasting sugar for the first time?” I winked. “It’s not that bad. You’re just… intense, sometimes.”
He gave me a pained look, and I smiled harder. He was so fucking cute when he was contrite. “This is humiliating,” he grumbled, “but I also can’t seem to regret anything. I like how wild and out of control I feel around you. Like I’m experiencing life for the first time… it’s just taking me a hot second to get my shit in order.”
Weirdly, he was echoing some of the thoughts I’d been having about my own behavior recently. Having the Guild ripped away from me so unexpectedly, it’d felt like I’d lost my identity. But every interaction with Kai and Leon, I was discovering me. For the first time in my whole life, I felt like a person rather than an asset.
Biting my lip, I controlled the urge to kiss him. Because there was no way I could stop at kissing when he was being this sweet with me. Huh, who knew I’d be so into the sweet side of Kai just as much as his aggressive, controlling, caveman side.
“Talk to me about this,” he said softly, brushing his thumb across my flat stomach. It was such a tender gesture and an iron-weighted question.
I wet my lips, suddenly nervous. “There’s not much to tell,” I replied with a tiny shrug. “When children are raised in a Guild orphanage, they incur a debt. That debt needs to be paid off, and the quickest way to do it is to take high-paying contracts. You know what is really bad for the bottom line, though?”