Darkness Arisen

chapter Eight



Ian didn't trust the beauty of the palace they'd entered. Not for a minute.

He strode restlessly behind Alice as they followed the leader of the Mageaan down a long corridor beneath the coral. The entrance had been deep beneath the vibrant reef, and the moment they'd stepped past the threshold into the undersea palace, they'd walked into fresh air. The ocean seemed to be held at the entrance by an invisible shield easily passable with one simple step. The moment they'd crossed into air, Jada's tail had disappeared. In its place were two very human legs, long, elegant, and lean, a reminder of what she had been before being cast aside in the sea.

Along the walls were troughs of salt water, housing assorted bioluminescent fish that were casting a purple and green glow into the tunnel. Was that their only source of light, down here so deep beneath the surface of the ocean? It was ingenious, actually, given that it wasn't as if there could be electricity or solar power illuminating the coral reef castle.

The walls were coated with vibrant plants of the most magnificent colors, and the floors were polished stone. Marble? Coral? Oyster shell? It was beautiful and magical, and he didn't trust it for a moment.

He'd seen ethereal mist turn into women and then demon specters. He could taste the haunting poison in the air. He'd been stabbed in the kidney by a fallen angel. And he'd watched his brand fail to appear on his sheva after two bonding stages.

Yeah, he wasn't trusting that anything was actually how it appeared to be. Beauty? Not worth the risk to notice. With each step he took deeper into the lair, his instincts grew more wary. He felt like the walls were closing in on him, stripping him of his freedom to walk away, closing off exits. Deep beneath the ocean, what options would they have if they needed to bail in a hurry? The only exit he'd seen was the one they'd left far behind. It wasn't simply the walls that were trapping them. It was also the millions of gallons of salt water stretching for miles around them.

He moved closer to Alice and put his hand on her back, keeping her close. But the moment he touched her, all thoughts of escape were subjugated by his need for her. The feel of her body beneath his hand made a dark hunger rumble through him. Desire. And even carnal lust. He had to get her alone. He had to rebuild their connection. He had to find out what was going on with the mark. How was she blocking the bond? It was getting worse and worse to be around her, harder and harder to deal with the distance. Her distress after killing that woman had nearly sent him over the edge when he'd been unable to help her deal with it the way he'd wanted.

He had to get her alone, and fast.

The fact that they were not making progress toward Cardiff was upping the stakes. Time was running out for them, and he had to find a way to get them out of there and back on track. Could Jada help? The deal needed to be closed quickly.

Yet even as he walked, pain shot through him with each step, and he could feel the internal bleeding seeping into his abdomen. He'd been able to slow down the damage from the knife in his back, but to truly mend it, he needed to go into the Calydon healing sleep for a few hours. Though many blades had cut him, that first one that had gone all the way through his kidney was the biggest issue.

Even big, badass immortal warriors needed internal organs in order to get through the day.

"We shall meet in here," Jada said as two huge French doors swung open, revealing a massive ballroom swathed in bright light.

Ian stopped the moment he saw the massive glass chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, their white bulbs shining like a New Year's Eve gala. There were no fish illuminating those suckers. It appeared to be electricity, pure and simple...but a thousand leagues under the sea? That wasn't possible. "You have electricity down here?" he asked the question anyway, probing for answers.

Jada didn't look back as she walked across the shell floor and set Chloe down on a red silk couch in the center of the room. "No," she said as she pulled a beautiful woven quilt over the girl. "This retains life," she said. "It will give her more time." She bent down and brushed her lips over Chloe's forehead. "Be strong, sweet girl. I will find a way to save you."

Distress emanated from Alice, and Ian glanced over at her. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, and her fists were clenched as she watched the exchange.

Ian touched her arm. You tried, sweetheart. Sometimes, that's all we can do.

Alice jutted her jaw out even as she took a deep breath, reining in her regret and drawing upon that same strength that he was getting to know so well. It's not enough.

I know. Shit, he knew that. His father's death was evidence of that. How similar were they? He got her, and he knew that she might understand what drove him as well. Suddenly, his need to get her alone was more than lust or sex. He wanted to talk to her, find out what drove her, and tell her things he hadn't been able to tell his teammates.

Jada's shoulders hunched with weariness. "You like the chandeliers?" she asked, drawing his attention back to the room. "They were a gift."

"A gift?" Ian walked under the nearest chandelier, carefully assessing the structure. There were no cords. It wasn't even attached to the ceiling. It was simply hovering there. In midair. Emanating light. Magic? Magic, definitely. Suddenly the taint and stink of the palace became clear. It wasn't simply magic. It was demon magic. And he knew only one wizard who played in that sandbox. Cardiff was here.

I know. Alice was staring at a small porcelain bowl on a side table. I can feel his taint. That bowl is his, too. Then she grinned at Ian, her face alight with such excitement that he felt his heart stutter. Since he'd known her, he'd seen only her tension, her fear, her worry, but in that moment, her optimism and courage was lighting up her face, making her look beautiful and alive. We're close, Ian. They know him. They can help us.

"Come sit." Jada rose from the couch and gestured to a long blue-green table made of coral. There was a bench on either side, and an armchair at each end. All of the items were intricately carved by hand, so complicated that they looked as if they'd been created by someone who'd had nothing else to do for too many years...which was probably the case. Not much to do down here if there were no visitors to swarm and attack.

Alice quickly sat on one of the benches, and Ian stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders.

The leader looked at him. "Sit."

"No." He inspected the myriad of tunnels breaking off from the main room. "I don't trust you. I prefer to be ready."

She raised her brows. "Eternity is a long time to be on your feet."

"I won't be here for eternity," he said without hesitation.

Alice touched his hand in solidarity, the small gesture jerking his attention back to her. She gave him a small smile, and his heart almost stopped. That subtle affection was incredible. Her voluntary touch was, in some ways, far more intimate than making love had been. Fresh determination swelled through him, and he squeezed her shoulders. Deep beneath the ocean in hostile territory, they were a team, and he liked it.

Being part of a team was part of who he was, and without the Order at his back, having Alice's support felt damn good.

"Very sweet," the Mageaan said, but her tone suggested she didn't agree with her words. Instead, she leaned forward, her hands clasped loosely on the table. "My name is Jada Skye. I was bound as Esmeralda's co-leader a hundred years ago, after the existing leaders were slaughtered in a battle."

"Bound?" Alice asked, a slight edge to her voice.

"Yes." Jada held out her hands, and Ian saw green and blue tendrils tattooed on the backs of them. "These are my handcuffs. Ordinary Mageaan have white and gray tattoos, but the leaders are different."

Ian frowned. He hadn't noticed any marks on the hands of the other Mageaan. Had they already faded to the point of invisibility, etched on their spirits instead of their skin? Shit. He felt itchy at the thought, and his determination to get them out of there quickly ramped up.

Alice moved her hands beneath the table, and Ian saw her look down at them. He frowned at her actions, realizing what Jada was saying: if Alice was the new leader, she, too, would have handcuffs. Are there marks, Alice?

She didn't answer, and his sense of danger grew stronger. It didn't matter what was on her skin. There was no chance they were going to spend their lives eating seaweed and growing gills. "Look," he said, no longer willing to play the polite hospitality game. "We need to find Warwick Cardiff. We know you've got something going with him, because his magic is all over the place here. Where is his lair?"

Jada sat up, her eyes flashing. "It is hidden in the middle of the ocean. Only those with his invitation can find it. It's a land of dark magic, illusions, and danger, except for those who are invited."

Ian's adrenaline kicked on. "Can you find it?"

She shot him a look of pure condescension. "Of course I can. We are always on his guest list. We protect his island when he isn't there."

In exchange for chandeliers, no doubt. The call of luxury was a powerful thing for some people.

"Will you take us there?" Alice asked. "I need to get into his castle."

Jada shook her head impatiently. "You are water bound. You can't go onto his land."

"Am I?" Alice set her hands on the table, and Ian could see that they were as devoid of the tattoos as they were of his brand.

Ian grinned, relieved that his mark wasn't the only one that seemed to have trouble claiming Alice. Sometimes, elusiveness was a damned good thing. "That's my woman. No one's going to claim her against her will."

Alice glanced at him, as if surprised by his statement of approval. You hate the fact you can't claim me.

Yeah, but it makes me feel better to know that some ancient angel fate can't land you either. He shrugged. I'm a guy. My ego needs the boost.

Alice rolled her eyes at him, but Ian didn't miss the hint of a smile.

Jada grabbed her hands, staring in shock. "That's impossible. There's no way Esmeralda's crown didn't transfer to you. I don't understand."

"Join the club. Alice defies nature, that's for sure." Ian grinned and eased down on the seat beside Alice, no longer able to be that far away from her. He kept his back to the table, facing outward so he could spring into action if he needed to, but he kept his shoulders turned toward Alice. He leaned in close to her and took over her space, shrugging his shoulders when she raised her eyebrows at him. I can't give you room, Alice. I need more of you, not less.

Her lips tightened, but she didn't move away, allowing his body to rest snugly against hers. It didn't do much to assuage the need burning through him, but it was enough to keep him from dropping to the floor and impaling himself on his own weapon. For the moment.

"We need you to take us to Cardiff's island," he said. "Now."

Jada laughed softly. "There is no possibility of that, warrior. My job is to protect my people. I will not endanger them by making an enemy of that man."

"Protect them? You sent them to their slaughter against me," Ian snapped, fresh anger surging through him at what had happened. "How is that protecting them?"

Jada's eyes glittered. "We did not expect you to defeat us. We expected no casualties." She looked at Alice. "Since you are not our leader, I no longer owe you respect. It changes everything." She rose to her feet, her eyes glittering. "You murdered our leader. You will die in the morning."

Ian didn't bother to respond. Instead, he studied her intently for weaknesses and lies that he could exploit. There was no chance he was going to let himself and Alice die in the morning, or any other time in the foreseeable future. He did, however, need to figure out how he was going to make that happen.

"Wait!" Alice leapt to her feet, the desperate edge in her voice suggesting she didn't have nearly the faith in Ian's skills as he did, which bit deep. As his mate, she should believe in him even when he didn't believe in himself. "Since I'm still an angel and not a Mageaan, the pearl will work if I offer it to you. You want it, don't you?" She braced her palms on the table and leaned forward, her stance and tone a challenge the Mageaan could not ignore. "It could save Chloe or Esmeralda, and you know it."

It occurred to Ian that it was time he found out exactly what was so damned special about that pearl. He'd been so focused on all the other shit that he hadn't realized that the pearl might be a key tool for them. Alice had downplayed it as something useless, encouraging him to dismiss its importance, but he was beginning to realize that she hadn't been all that honest about the pearl.

Women. Can't trust them. Can't bond with them. Can't live without 'em, even for a minute.

Jada's eyes darkened. "As an angel of life, you could have saved them both. Many of my people are dead because you wouldn't help. Why would I trust you with the pearl, or honor you by giving you anything?"

Angel of life? Ian studied Alice, surprised by the news. If she was an angel of life, how was it that she had such difficulty staying alive? His mate was getting more complex by the moment, and a part of him liked it. She was a miasma of secrets and barriers that needed to be unraveled, and he was the guy to do it. Challenges kept the day interesting, and as long as she let him get up close and personal with her, it was good.

"Why should you trust me?" Alice stiffened. "Because you need that pearl too badly to do anything else but trade for it."

Jada stared at her. "You know nothing about us."

"I know enough."

For a long moment, Jada said nothing. Then she surged to her feet, anger crackling off her. "You are my guests tonight. Tomorrow you will die, or I will bargain with you. It is my decision." Then from the folds of the harness that covered her breasts, she pulled out a small thin stick.

Ian swore at the sight of one of Cardiff's wands and dove across Alice to shield her, but it was too late. A razor-thin stream of light hit them both. Turquoise light swelled around them, and when it was gone, they were no longer in the ballroom.

They were in a small, barren chamber with no windows, no doors, and no way out.

* * *

Two hours after being transported into the cell and searching for a way out, Ian finally had to accept the fact that escape was not going to happen. Feeling caged and impotent, he paced across the floor, clasping his hands behind his head, trying to mask his frustration.

Their prison was small, maybe ten feet in diameter, with an arched ceiling that went up at least twenty feet. The walls, floor, and ceiling were smooth oyster shell, but must have been protected by magic because his mace was powerless against it. The only furnishings were a cot and tiny bathroom, as if it were designed to keep prisoners for a long time.

They were in jail, and he didn't like it. Not one bit. "There's no way out."

Alice was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the wall, her forearms draped over her knees. She had accepted their fate long before he had. "I know. We'll have to wait until morning."

The frustration of inactivity gnawed at Ian. He didn't like being incapacitated. Being trapped in the small room reminded him too much of the months he'd spent in the Order's dungeon, fighting for his sanity.

Shaking out his arms, he paced restlessly, needing to do something to further their mission. For a split second, he debated trying to reach out to Ry and have Kane teleport in, but he quickly dismissed that. Turning himself over to the Order would not get them to Cardiff. He would not give up that easily. Plus, he suspected they were too far away anyway. Since he wasn't blood-bonded with either of them, the range of their telepathic communication was limited. "We need a plan for the morning," he said. "Tell me what you know about these people."

"As I said, they are fallen angels. They were originally in human form, but they lost that when they were cast aside." Alice shrugged. "They were once like me, Ian. Then they did something terrible and were banished."

"What kind of terrible?" Those hadn't been women with good hearts out there. He'd felt their need to destroy him, their thirst for his pain and suffering. If he hadn't sensed that about them, he wouldn't have been able to fight to kill. But he'd realized instantly that it was his death or theirs, and the choice had been made.

"It depends." She leaned her head back and studied him warily. "But once an angel loses her status, it isn't just her body that decays. It's her mind and her soul. They become what they chose to be when they broke the rules." She bit her lip. "Chloe was brand new. She was still so close to her humanity. I don't even think she is full angel. Maybe a half or a quarter. She doesn't belong here. She's not even dead yet, Ian. What kind of suffering is she going through right now?"

Ian reached the end of the room by the foot of the cot and turned back. "I'm the one who delivered the blow. I take responsibility." Once he'd seen Chloe's humanity after he'd struck her, he'd replayed that fight again and again in his head, haunted by the fact that he had made a mistake and struck an innocent. But no matter how many times he revisited the moment that he'd struck her, he was always absolutely certain that there had been not even a whisper of decency in the foe he'd been fighting. She had become something else in that battle, or been possessed by it. But how was that possible? He was a highly experienced warrior, taught from day one to know who was the enemy and who was the innocent. During the battle, Chloe had not been an innocent.

What had happened out there?

He knew there would be no answers tonight, and solving the mystery of the Mageaan wasn't his mission. He had to stay focused. "We're not leaving without directions to Warwick's," he said. "We have to convince Jada she needs that pearl." He looked over at her. "Why do they need that jewel, Alice?"

"The pearl of Lycanth can save an angel's soul," she said, sounding too tired to play games anymore. "It's like a get out of jail free card. One soul, one pearl. Only three exist. I have...had one of them."

He whistled under his breath. "No wonder they would want it." He nodded with satisfaction. "We can leverage this. There's no chance she's going to let us go without giving her the pearl."

"She might. The pearl of Lycanth will send the angel straight to hell if she doesn't have a pure heart." She looked wearily at Ian. "Is she willing to take the chance? Does she look like someone who has a pure heart? Even life as a Mageaan is better than hell."

Ian had sensed the darkness in Jada, and in all the creatures he'd fought. There hadn't been a pure heart among them, at least not during the fight. But then he thought of the one Alice hadn't let him kill, the one who had chosen not to eat them. He thought of Chloe, who had clearly been an innocent once she was out of the battle. Was there some kind of humanity left in those creatures or not? He wished he knew.

"They'll be ready for you this time," Alice said. "Your fighting ability caught them by surprise, but you've revealed yourself. If Jada chooses to kill us, she now knows what it will take."

Ian ground his jaw. "I have more than what I showed today."

"She commands the oceans, Ian. You may have more, but she has everything." Alice pressed her hands to her face. "We really might die tomorrow."

"I won't allow it." Despite his claim, however, he was grimly aware that without his team to support him, there were limits to what he could defeat. But if he called them to aid him, he would lose the chance to go after Cardiff, and he would die the same death as his father. The Order would come to retrieve Alice, not to join him on a mission to find Cardiff.

If he could prove Cardiff was the one threatening the Order, they would help. Or, if they already knew it was Cardiff and had chosen to block him from the mission anyway, then he'd have to prove that he was sane enough to take on his personal enemy. Either way, calling them in now meant he'd get the boot. But he didn't like being without his team. It was what he was bred for.

"I don't know if I can come back again if I die," she said. "It was hard this time."

Ian swore at the reminder that it wasn't simply his life and his mission at stake. Could he risk Alice like that by not asking the team for help? Shit. He had to. His obligation was bigger than a single woman. But how could he risk her? Scowling, he walked away, giving her his back as he paced the room. "If I call in the Order as backup, we will be unstoppable. No chance Jada will be able to kill us." He left the words hanging in the air, offering them to her.

For a moment, Alice was silent. "They'll take me to their mansion."

"They will."

"They'll take you off Warwick."

"They will." Ian didn't turn to face her. He simply waited.

After a heavy moment of silence, she spoke. "I would rather die than give up. Don't call them."

He spun to face her, but her eyes were closed and her head was resting back against the wall. The body language of a woman too exhausted to cope. "You're sure?"

She nodded. "It has to be us, Ian. We give it our all and either die or succeed. I can't walk away, and neither can you."

Grim resolution flooded Ian, but with it was a deep admiration for the woman before him. Her bravery, her commitment to her sister...she was like a ray of white light shining into his darkness. "I'm in," he said.

She managed a faint smile. "It's settled, then."

"Yeah." Ian resumed his pacing, his mind working hard now as he tried to predict all possible scenarios for the morning, and to establish a plan for each one. He had an hour or two to plan, and then he had to go into his healing sleep and regain his strength for tomorrow.

"Can you stop pacing?" Alice sounded tired. "You're making me dizzy with all your circling."

The weariness in her voice broke through his focus. He swore when he saw how pale her face was, and how drawn her features were. "You okay?"

Her head was still propped up against the wall, her green eyes at half-mast. "I killed a woman, Ian. I killed someone. I felt her life bleed out the moment I did it."

Ian remembered the first day he'd taken a life. It was never easy, even in self-defense. "You had no choice," he said, walking over to her. He crouched down in front of her and brushed a lock of her hair back from her face. "You did good. It's my fault you had to defend yourself. I should have been able to keep you safe."

"You were keeping me safe. You were keeping hundreds of Mageaan away from me." She shook her head, and tears glistened in her eyes. "I'm an angel, Ian. An angel of life. I'm supposed to protect lives and give people a second chance, not kill them."

Ian sat down beside her and leaned back against the wall, resting his shoulder against hers as he propped his knees up and draped his forearms over his legs. "Sometimes angels have to save their own lives."

"We're supposed to let ourselves be killed."

Ian snorted with disgust. "That's total crap. Break that rule, sweetheart, and feel good doing it."

But Alice didn't acknowledge his comment. "Did you see what happened with Chloe?" She closed her eyes and pressed her palms to them. "I can't do this again," she whispered. "All I had to do was give her an angel's kiss and I couldn't do it. She's dying right now because I could do nothing." Her shoulders started to shake, and Ian swore softly, his soul aching for her anguish. "Two women died today, and both of them were my fault." She looked at him, her face full of so much self-loathing that his gut clenched. "All I'm supposed to do is bring life to others, and I do the opposite. Do you know what it's like to want to save someone and not be able to?"

"Yeah, I do." To his surprise, she leaned into him when he answered her, as if the weight of the world was too much for her to handle alone. And it probably was. He knew exactly what she was feeling. There was nothing as horrific as the feeling of impotence when watching harm befall someone and being completely unable to do anything about it. "I was ten when my father killed himself in front of me."

Alice glanced over at him, tears still glistening in her eyes. "You saw it?"

"F*ck yeah, I did. I caused it to happen."

Her brow puckered in a small frown. "How? You were only ten."

"I thought I could save him from the curse." Ian threaded his fingers through her hair, grounding himself in her presence as he relived that moment from so long ago. "He'd explained to me about the curse. My grandfather had killed himself when my dad was a kid. He'd ordered my dad to restore the family honor by breaking the curse, and he banned my dad from ever speaking to a woman, let alone having sex with them. Of course, it's not that easy to do when you're out there saving the damn world and running into women all the time. My dad wanted to give me the same command, but he knew it was impossible, so he instead taught me to identify women who might bring me down and to get out before they could get to me." The irony of the moment, that he was telling his story to a woman he'd made love to until his soul had exploded was not lost on him. "By the time I was ten, my dad was suffering. The curse was pressing him hard for a woman he'd seen from a distance once. It was killing him."

Alice raised her brows. "Was it his sheva?"

"Yeah. She wouldn't have been able to affect him so intensely from such a distance otherwise." Ian closed his eyes, remembering that night all too well. "He came to me in the middle of the night and told me that he couldn't fight the curse much longer because the separation between him and this woman was killing him. He gave instructions on what I was supposed to do after he killed himself."

Alice put her hand on his arm, her face softening. "I'm so sorry. That's terrible." She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have your parent tell you that they were about to kill themselves. How helpless and vulnerable would that make a child feel? And how terrified? "Did you try to stop him?"

"Of course I did. I went out and found the woman and brought her home. I figured that if he couldn't take the separation, then maybe it would be better if he had her in his life." He flexed his hands restlessly, and Alice could feel the raw strength he was exerting trying to keep the memories superficial. "The moment he saw Helen, their connection was instant." He looked over at her, his dark eyes hooded. "Like us."

Alice felt heat flood her cheeks, but there was no way to deny it. Even just sitting beside him on the floor, she was aware of the rhythm of his heart, the strength emanating from him, and the potent sexuality that seemed to heat up the very air between them. She'd chosen to sit on the floor instead of the cot, because the bed seemed too dangerous in this small room with him. "So it worked?"

"For a couple days. He even told me he was feeling better."

Alice could hear the edge in his voice, the precursor of something terrible. "So, what happened?"

Ian lifted her arm and traced his fingers down the smooth expanse of her skin. "They completed the sheva bond. All five stages." He raised her arm to his lips, pressing a kiss against it.

Desire and awareness pulsed through her. "So, that's good, right? For them? I mean, he had cemented the bond, which is what you want to do with me." She wanted to pull her arm away from Ian, but she couldn't make herself do it. Not with the feel of his breath drifting over her skin, the delicate way his fingers were clasped around her wrist, as if she were a fragile porcelain doll that would shatter.

"No. Not good." He pressed another kiss to her arm, never taking his gaze off her face. "Remember the sheva legend?"

"Oh...yes." She'd forgotten about the ill-fated destiny of the Calydon and his mate, having been slightly occupied with clear and present dangers instead. But even remembering it didn't lessen her need for him. She could barely resist the urge to melt into him. Was her response because she really was his sheva? Or was there something else about him that made her come to life? "Has anyone survived the bond?"

"In the last two thousand years four couples have survived, but it's unclear whether they defeated fate, or simply delayed it. The jury is still out." He leaned back against the wall, resting his head against the luminescent shell. "But the curse changes it for us, for my father. He lost Helen, the way destiny commanded, but instead of going rogue, the despair of the loss was so great that he took his own life." He was staring across the room, not looking at her. "She'd simply gone to buy bread," he said. "That was all. But that loss was enough. I was screaming at my father that she would be right back, and it didn't matter. He grabbed me by the throat and shouted at me to end the curse, to restore honor to our family's name. Then he called out his axe and chopped off his own head right in our kitchen."

Dear God. Alice was horrified. "Ian—"

"When Helen came back and saw my father, she killed herself, per the fate of the Calydon and his mate. Two people dead, same ending, but if destiny had been allowed to play out, he would have at least died with honor. But this way? Just shame." He grimaced. "The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is not so romantic in real life. Two people dead because I thought I could save them by bringing them together."

"I'm so sorry, Ian—" Alice wanted to touch him, to hug him, to take away his pain, but she knew it wouldn't change anything. She knew that all too well.

"Even though my father had been one of the most admired Order of the Blade members, they weren't able to honor his death because it was by suicide. He lived for his mission, and he believed the only oath worthy of obeying was the one he'd made when he was sworn in as one of the elite. Nothing else mattered, and yet he lost it in the end. It was stolen from him by the curse. His body didn't disappear at death the way Calydons usually do because he had violated the sacredness of life. To this day, his body and soul lay trapped beneath the earth in my family's burial grounds, along with the other Fitzgerald males who have died."

Alice stared at him, the reality of his words sinking in. No relief for the soul? No afterlife? "Like the Mageaan," she said. "They're banned from the Afterlife as well. Trapped here."

He glanced at her. "Hell."

She nodded.

"I made a promise that day," he said softly. "I vowed to restore honor to my family's legacy as Order of the Blade members, to free their souls, and to bring back honor to my father's memory. The only way to do it is to break the curse. It was my fault he died, and I have to fix it."

She understood now what drove him. What a terrible burden for a young boy to carry. A burden for a grown man to carry as well.

He managed a grim smile. "And now my team has taken me off duty. If I go back to them, they'll boot me out of the Order. I haven't even died yet, and I've already f*cked up my family's legacy." He turned his head slightly to look at her. "And you, Alice, my sheva. Are you my salvation or the doom that will destroy me forever?"

She swallowed at the sudden hunger in his tone. "I could ask you the same question."

He studied her for a long moment, his gaze so intense she wanted to squirm. "I know so little about you, Alice. Tell me something. Tell me your secrets."

"I can't. It's against the rules."

He uttered a low growl. "I don't care about rules." He threaded his fingers through hers, and tugged on her hand, pulling her toward him. "I want to know why you don't carry my mark." His eyes were blazing with possessiveness, and excitement rushed through her.

"Don't ask me that, Ian."

"Oh, I'm going to ask you." He slid his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her toward him. "I need to know how to break down your walls."

Her heart began to hammer as he moved closer, his mouth inches from hers. "Don't—"

"I won't stop until all the barriers between us are gone." He brushed his mouth over hers, and desire leapt through her, a white-hot flame too hot to withstand. "I want to know everything about you."

He kissed her forehead. "I want to know your dreams."

He kissed her left temple, his lips the softest caress. "I want to know your fears."

He kissed her right temple, a decadent temptation of tenderness and demand. "I want to know what makes you laugh."

"Laugh?" She closed her eyes, fighting against her body's desire to respond to him. "I don't laugh."

"Is that against the rules, too?" He kissed one eyelid, and then the other. "Or is your heart too heavy for laughter?"

She scrunched her eyes shut. "Stop it," she whispered. "Just please stop."

His breath was hot against her ear, his voice a caress to her soul. "Why am I such a threat to you, Alice? Why do you resist me?"

"I... I can't tell you—"

Ian swore violently, and before she knew what had happened, he'd swept her up into his arms and tossed her on the bed. Her back hit the soft mattress, and then he was on top of her, his weight pinning her to the sheets. He grabbed her wrists and locked them down above her head, heat blazing in his eyes. "Stop it," he commanded. "Just stop shutting me out, for hell's sake!"

Alice knew she should have been afraid of him, but she wasn't. As trapped as she was, he wasn't hurting her. The despair was pouring out of him, nearly flooding her senses. She felt his pain, so much pain, and so much stress trying to fight it off. Her heart broke for him, for his suffering, and suddenly she didn't want to be apart from him anymore. No one had shared emotions like this with her before. It made her feel alive. It made her feel like there was a reason she came back to life every time she got killed. It made her feel like there was hope in this world of something better than her life, and something better than her future. "Kiss me, Ian," she whispered.

He groaned and closed his eyes, throwing his head back. "Hell, Alice." His voice was raw and harsh. "I'm not made of steel. If I kiss you, I'm not going to stop. I need you so badly."

"I need you, too." The words were a whisper, barely audible, but when he stiffened, she knew he'd heard her.

Slowly, he brought his head back down and opened his eyes. "Say it again," he commanded.

She almost smiled at his fierceness. You make me feel wanted. It's so beautiful.

Say it again.

She met his gaze, and anticipation began to pulse through her. She could feel the rigid restraint he was exercising, and she knew that if she gave him any leeway, he would take over and she'd never be able to stop the flood of passion once he unleashed it.

Her heart began to pound. Did she really want to do this? No. Yes.

"Alice," he whispered, lowering his head until his lips were grazing hers. Not kissing. Not taking. Tempting her with sinful decadence. "Tell me you need me. We are never going to get through tomorrow morning if we aren't connected. I can't do this alone."

The desperation in his voice touched her in that place deep inside that only he could awaken, and the words came of their own accord. Words that were a truth she'd never spoken to anyone. "Yes," she whispered, her heart racing and desire roaring through her. "I do need you, Ian. I need you to bring me back to life."

His low growl was his only response before he claimed her.