I sat at the bar at Rumors, sipping water, wishing it were a strong bourbon or whiskey from one of the bottles in Kade’s hands. He was stocking the shelves as I waited for Lizzie and Zach. I’d had every intention of taking Lizzie for a walk the night before down by the lake. I’d planned to spend time with her, making out as if we were teenagers again. But when I’d seen that half-heart charm on her neck, that sweltering day she’d moved away had come soaring back, along with the pain and heartbreak. Sure, it wasn’t her fault that she’d moved. To a certain extent, I even understood her reasons for not wanting to stay in touch. Both of our families had been through something far worse than hell. She’d kept asking me all through dinner if I was all right. All I did was nod. In fact, I’d been quiet as everyone had chatted and gotten to know Lizzie again. Even after dinner I hadn’t been in a festive mood.
My dad, on the other hand, had been quite relaxed. After he’d had a one-on-one conversation with Lizzie, he’d been a new man. Over dessert, he and Lizzie had talked excitedly about school and her intentions for a degree in marine biology. She’d had him smiling rather than bracing for a sonic bomb to go off. Prior to Lizzie showing up, he’d been wound as tight as us boys, anticipating Mom’s reaction to Lizzie. But even Mom was chatting up Lizzie as though the past was a blur. Once she went as far as tucking Lizzie’s hair behind her ear, much as she had when Lizzie was a little girl. Deep down I suspected Lizzie reminded Mom of the good old days, and that alone put a smile on her face.
Knuckles rapped on the bar, snapping me out of the turmoil I was in.
“Mom handled the deaths of the Reardons really well,” Kade said. “I talked to Dad earlier. He mentioned Mom couldn’t stop talking about Lizzie. She hopes to see her again soon.”
All of us were pleasantly surprised at how Mom had handled Lizzie and the sad news of her family. When I was helping Mom set the table, she’d been concerned with me putting the fork in the right place rather than with hiding in her room depressed.
What a night it had been. As we’d said goodbye to Dillon and Lizzie, Mom had offered again for Lizzie to live at the house. Then they’d hugged, both women crying. My knees had gone weak. Luckily Kody had been next to me. He’d put a hand on my shoulder, preventing me from collapsing. Yeah, I was one fucked-up dude. All I’d envisioned at that moment was how I wanted to hold and protect Lizzie. Oh, hell. I wanted more than that. I wanted to take her to my room, strip her naked, and have my way with her, and at the same time, I was deathly afraid of the pain that would come when she went back to Miami.
“Do you want to talk about what’s bugging you before Zach and Lizzie get here?” Kade asked.
I eyed the liquor then him. “How many times are you going to ask me that?”
“As many times as it takes to get you to talk.” He tossed an empty box over the bar. It landed with a slight thud on top of the pile of other empty boxes.
“I’m not ready. When I am, I’ll come find you.” I had no doubt he would give me great words of wisdom. He was just like our dad in that regard. “Have you thought about following in Dad’s footsteps as a psychiatrist?”
He chuckled as he wiped his hands with a towel. “That means I’d have to go to school for years, and that’s not my cup of tea. Besides, I give advice every night to people here.”
“Yeah, for free.”
“How many times do I have to tell you to use that Mensa brain of yours? I listen. They tip me. I give advice. They tip me. I make good money.”
“Then why sleep at the club? Get your own apartment.” I had no doubt Mr. Robinson was paying him well for managing Rumors, in addition to his tips.
“I’m saving for a special occasion.”
“Dare I ask? Is it the M word?”
The buzzer to the backdoor rang. He grinned, reminding me of Donkey in Shrek as he left to open the door. I admired my brother so damn much. From day one he’d known Lacey was the girl for him. He’d known he would marry her someday. Their relationship hadn’t been all chocolate and roses either. Yet their love for each other never wavered. Why couldn’t I be like him? Instead of freaking the fuck out over emotional pain? Talk about a *. I was the king of that at the moment.
Lizzie’s voice floated to my ears, subtle, smooth, and silky. My heartbeat sped up. I swiveled on the barstool when she breezed in. Her hair fell easily over one side of her chest. Hair that I wanted to smell, touch, and play with. Her cheeks and nose were red, from battling the high winds that day, I imagined. One look at her and my body hummed everywhere, wanting to devour her like a madman. I took in a quiet breath. Lizzie deserved to be touched with a feather, caressed with my fingers, and worshipped like she was the queen of the universe, not thrown against the wall to have my way with her, although the latter was certainly appealing.
She sat on the stool next to me. “How were classes?”
“I’ve been an ass.”
Her face lit up. “That’s no surprise, but where did that come from?”
I dragged her barstool closer to mine. “You ran from me the other day and didn’t give me a chance to say I was sorry.” I rested my forehead against hers. “First, when I asked you to dinner with my family, I was only thinking of my mom and not how you would feel seeing my parents again. And then I was a bigger jerk for practically ignoring you at dinner.” I fished her necklace out from her shirt and laid the half-heart charm in the palm of my hand, recalling how my world had shifted when she moved away. “I saw the charm and freaked. I mean, after all these years, you’re still wearing it.”