I slam my eyes shut and my lower lip
trembles. “And I did. I messed it all up again.”
Ryan cups my cheek with his palm. I lean
into it and open my eyes. “I’m glad it
happened,” he says.
“I thought they ran an MRI on your head.”
His eyes laugh. “They did. Just answer me this—before Trent arrived, were you going to leave with me?”
I swallow and I’m nodding before I answer.
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“Yes.”
“Why?”
My eyes narrow as I try to understand the question.
“No, Beth. Don’t think about it. Just give me the first answer that comes to mind. Why were you going to leave with me?”
My eyes flash to his and my mouth pops
open. No, it’s not possible, because if it is, then it’s a first for me.
The same hope I’ve seen a million times
from Ryan builds on his face. Is it possible he’s known all along? “Say it, Beth.”
“I love you.” Those used to be the hard
words, but now they’re easier. I exhale and the air shakes as it comes out of my mouth.
“Nice try,” he says. “The other thing. Say that.”
“Ryan…” My throat dries out and sweat
forms along my hairline. “I’m scared.”
“I know.” He tucks my hair behind my ear.
“But it’s okay.”
His fingers slowly trail down my arm, over my sling and he rests his fingertips against mine. A warmth unfurls within me, starting in my heart and flowing through my bloodstream.
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It creates a weird sensation of chains
unlocking and breaking free. It’s almost as if I’m floating.
“I trust you,” I say. “I was going to leave with you because I trust you.”
Ryan’s silent, but the small, peaceful smile on his face causes me to smile in return. I wonder if my smile looks like his. I trust him.
Ryan. It’s a little scary, but not as much as I thought it would be. Maybe this is it; maybe this is the beginning Scott’s talked about for months—the clean slate.
“Was that so hard?” he asks.
“Yes.”
Ryan touches my hair again. It’s like he
requires the contact to confirm I’m not a ghost.
“You need to learn how to start trusting
yourself.”
I flop down so that my head rests on the
pillow beside him. Ryan’s slow as he shifts.
Our faces are so close that our noses almost touch. My arm begins to ache and I have a feeling Scott will show soon because he’s timed my pain med schedule into his phone.
“Do you mind if I heal first before I tackle anymore long-lost resurfacing emotional HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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issues?”
Ryan tilts his head and I silently swear.
Apparently we’re not done yet. “You’re
kidding me, right?”
“Scott said Isaiah came to the hospital,” he begins.
I nod, preferring not to go into this now…or ever. Noah visited me several times while I was in the hospital—once with Echo, and twice on his own. He told me that Isaiah paced the waiting room until he heard I was going to be okay, then he left. My best friend left.
“I think we should talk about it.”
The fingers of my left hand try to tighten, but the blast of pain keeps me from making a fist. I hiss at the sting and Ryan edges closer.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I bite out. “It’s just…I already told you that it’s not like that for me with him.”
“I believe you.”
My brow begins to lift and I stop when the stitches on my forehead pull. Dammit, I’m never going to be able to move again. “Then why bring it up?”
Ryan sucks in a breath and I can tell this conversation is eating at him as much as it is HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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me. “Are you going to see him again?”
No. Yes. “If he’ll let me. But he left the hospital without talking to me. I don’t know what that means.” Screw that. “Yes, of course I’ll see him again. Isaiah and I are friends and he’s going to realize that even if I have to take a two-by-four to him.”
He looks torn between a smile and a sigh.
“And you wonder why I’m concerned.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve got to admit, the life you lived in Louisville is different than the one you have now. I’m scared that if you have a place to run, a person to run to, when things get tough you’ll go.” Ryan stretches out the fingers of my left hand that had begun to retighten. “There’s always going to be someone doubting us, Beth, and I can’t be in this if you’re always running.”
“No more running. I promise.” It’s almost painful to step past my pride to say the rest.
“You were right…in Louisville…about me
having a life in Groveton. I have you…but I also have Scott and Lacy and school. I like who I am here.”
“Me too,” he says as if proving his case.
“But Isaiah and I go back too far for me to HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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