Don’t take what was beautiful between us and make it ugly.”
Water fills her eyes and my heart slices into a million pieces. Beth isn’t a crier and I’m making her cry. I thought making love would HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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prove how much I loved her. Prove that she could trust me, and it’s killing me to know that one act could be what’s tearing us apart. “I gave you my word that the dare was over.
When have I ever lied to you?”
“On the front steps of Scott’s house you
promised me I wouldn’t be a secret.”
I’m standing here breaking the PDA rules by holding her close to me. How can she believe I lied? “I’ve told everyone at school. I’ve brought you to games. I’ve taken you to parties.”
“Tell me you told your parents. Tell me that when your parents confronted you about us, you told them we were a couple.”
My grip on her loosens and she jerks her
arm away. How could she know that? Over
Beth’s shoulder I spot Gwen skulking at the end of the hallway. She glances at me, then immediately averts her gaze. Dammit.
Beth kneads her eyes with her hands. “I fell for the jock again. The worst part is I told you how to play me. Convince me you love me and I’ll fall into your bed. I’m so fucking stupid.”
The warning bell rings and I watch in shock as Beth turns. No. She can’t believe that. “I do HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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love you.”
Beth pauses in the door frame and I pray
she’ll say she believes me. “No, you don’t. You don’t want to feel bad for winning the dare.”
She walks into class and the tardy bell rings.
Beth’s second period teacher assesses me.
“Get to class.” Then closes the door in my face.
Feeling numb, I turn in the direction of my next class. I made love to Beth and I lost her. I swallow as my own eyes sting. It was too soon.
She didn’t trust me enough. What we did
together, it was too much, too fast. I run a hand over my head and try to comprehend how everything blew out of control.
“Ryan!” calls Gwen from behind me. “Ryan!
Please wait!”
Rage shoots through my veins as I spin in her direction and tower over her. “Are you finally happy, Gwen? Congratulations, you’ve bagged homecoming. I hope it was worth it.”
Her eyes widen and she steps back. “I didn’t do it for homecoming.”
“Then why? Why would you hurt me like
this?”
She blinks. “Hurt you? I’ve said nothing
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about you.”
“If you hurt her, you hurt me. I love her.”
Gwen’s face pales. “You only think you love her. I just…I just told a few people. Just enough so word would get back to you, because I knew you wouldn’t listen to me. I didn’t know that they’d call her a whore. I didn’t know about the locker. I swear, Ryan. I feel awful. I do. I had no idea it would go down like this.”
When I angle my body away from her, she
tries to reach out to me. “Please, you have to believe me. Ryan…”
I move out of range and her fingers hover in the air for a second before dropping to her side.
“She’s all wrong for you. I thought if you heard it, maybe from other people, you’d see what she really is and then you’d…”
Nausea crawls up my throat. “What? What
did you think I’d do?”
Tears pool in her eyes and she shrugs.
“Come back to me.”
I pop my neck, trying to relieve the tension, but find the act did nothing to help. “We were over long before Beth came to this school. If you can’t understand that, try this—I love her, HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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Gwen. I love her. ”
I turn my back and head in the direction of my next class. This school isn’t that big and, because of that, Beth won’t be able to hide from me for long.
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Beth
I KNEW THIS MATERIAL LAST WEEK. I know I
did. I studied every night and Scott quizzed me most mornings. But I’m drawing blanks. The words jumble as I read them, which means my paper’s blank. The bell rings. “Please bring your tests to me,” says Mrs. Hayes.
The hand clutching my pencil sweats. I’ve written my name. That’s it. My head falls forward. I failed. Again. This is who I was meant to be.
“Beth,” says Mrs. Hayes. She walks back to my seat after everyone else turns in their tests and leaves. “Are you okay?”
“No.” I’m a whore and I’m stupid. I snatch my backpack and leave the blank test on my desk. “I am not okay.”
I burst out of class. Groveton is a mistake.
I’m a mistake. Ryan lied to me. He used me. I HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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was a dare. I’m nothing more than a stupid whore who makes mistake after mistake after mistake. Just like my mom.