Branna didn't say a word, not a peep, and that made me feel sicker than I already felt.
"Dominic would have told me if he was into shite like that! He wouldn't have pestered me into goin' out with him if he was tangled up in things as bad as drugs! He doesn't even smoke Branna, and he rarely drinks because of his trainin' for his fights."
"I never said he took drugs. None of the lads do drugs, but they are all involved with them. Except Damien."
I stared at her for a long, long moment, as it all began to make sense in my head. All the hushed conversations between Damien and Dominic, then Ryder saying Dominic fighting in school brought them unwanted attention, and then Dominic telling me he didn't fight for fun but for 'family business', a family business he wouldn't tell me about.
I suddenly burst into tears. "I can't b-believe… why would he… oh my God, I'm goin' out with a drug dealer!"
I covered my face with both my good and injured hand and sobbed like a baby. My chest was hurting me, and my stomach was lurching something terrible. I knew I was going to be sick. And I was, all over the floor next to me.
"Don't move, I'll clean it up. Just stay put and focus on breathing so you can calm yourself, okay?" Branna said to me in a soft tone.
I numbly nodded my head at her while staring out to our back garden through the back door glass. I ignored the vile taste in my mouth and forced myself not to think of the pain in my stomach. But nothing I did stopped my chest from constricting in pain.
"I'm breakin' up with him," I said as I continued to look out at the back garden.
Branna sighed next to me as she finished cleaning up my vomit. I glanced at her, and she moved over to the fridge to get some juice then filled a glass full of it. She came back over to my side and handed me the juice, I drank it as she stroked my back with her hand.
"If it makes you look at this differently, they don't want to be involved with this man, they just don't have choice."
I snapped my head to her, I felt my face go red when she didn't explain that any further.
"Branna, stop cuttin' yourself off when you're tellin' me somethin' as important as this!" I growled.
She smiled a little at me. "I'm sorry, Bee, but I'm not sayin' any more. This is a conversation you need to have with Dominic alone. Just know that I fully stand by him, Ryder, and the rest of the lads. I would never go out with someone who would involve us in somethin' as dangerous as this, and I wouldn't allow you to go out with someone like that unless there was a good reason. The lads have got a handle on this so we don't need to worry."
I stared at her blankly, unblinking.
How in God's name was she so calm about this?
I shook my head at her, got up and left the kitchen and went up to my room where I flung myself onto my bed. I was still coming to grips with just dating Dominic and allowing myself to let him in. And now I had to deal with this fucking bombshell?
I shook my head into my pillow.
Was this why he fought at Darkness? Was it why he fought at all? Was this the reason why he was always battered and bruised when he came to school? Was this why he and his brothers were here in Ireland?
I had so many questions and zero answers.
I sat up, got my phone from my dresser, and unlocked it.
I need to fucking speak to you!!
I sent a text to his phone and sat back on my bed and closed my eyes and started thinking.
How the hell did my life get so complicated?
Only a few months ago I was invisible, boyfriend-less, bullied, and a complete and total loner until Dominic happened. I couldn't even remember how it felt not to feel for someone, I cared about no one bar Branna until he stormed into my life and turned my world upside down. I did care about Dominic, I cared about him so much; I lived him, but this was something I didn't know if I could deal with. The things he was involved in were so much bigger than me.
I opened my eyes when my phone beeped and tapped on Dominic's face when his text came through.
I know I have a lot of explaining to do baby, but don't make any decisions until you hear me out. Please?
I frowned; he knew my automatic reaction would be to break up with him, and that upset me. The whole point of being with Dominic was to let go of my old insecurities, and I wasn't going back to running away from things that scared me or threatened my bubbled world. No, I was going to pull up my big girl trousers and listen to what he had to say. Any decisions I made about us would come after I'd heard everything and thought things over. I nodded my head as I tapped on my phone, replying to Dominic.
Okay, but know I'm beyond upset with you. This - you - have really hurt me.
I wasn't lying; I was hurting because of this. I didn't know if it was because Dominic kept the secret from me for so long or because of what the secret actually was. Both, I thought.
I looked at my phone when it beeped.