Chapter THIRTY
“Hey Brit. How are you doing?”
“Dominic. What are you doing here?”
“Jagger asked me to give you something.”
“Is he okay? Is he safe? Where is he? Why isn’t he here?” She was frantic now, trying to piece her fears together. She looked past him, into the woods, assuming that Jagger was hiding among the trees, awaiting Dom’s signal that all was safe in the cabin.
Dominic paused, unsure of her knowledge of the situation. “Brit,” he started. “Jagger turned himself in. I thought you knew that.”
Her heart sank. He chose not to escape. He had left her at the cabin, alone, again. Britton turned from the door and dropped to the couch. She knew she should be happy that her brother was willing to come speak with her even after all her secrets and lies were revealed, but she couldn’t think of anyone but Jagger. Why didn’t he want to run away with her? For the first time in his life, why did he choose the ‘high road’?
Dom nestled next to Britton and laid his arm around her. She stayed stiff for a time, but soon collapsed her body, using his as support. “I’m so sorry, Dom.” She whispered.
“I know.” It was all he needed to say. Of course he knew she was sorry. He saw the way she looked at Jagger. No one could fake that kind of love.
“Does everyone hate me?”
“No one knows. Jagger only told me.”
It made her feel a hundred times better to know that her secret hadn’t torn up their club. Of course Jagger hadn’t told anyone. He was most likely too embarrassed of his short sighted mistakes to confess to his club that he had been played.
“So he’s not coming back?” She knew the answer, but focused on the slim chance that he had a plan to rejoin her in the works.
“No, Brit, he’s not coming back.”
Britton felt a tear roll down her cheek. It was just the one. It was all she had left. She would need to prepare herself to go back out into the world alone.
She sat up straight and took a deep breath. This was her reality now. There was no way around it. “What did you want to give me?” She was cold, knowing that any other side of her would easily break.
Dominic fished into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded it and handed her the sealed envelope. “I’m assuming it’s a letter?” Dom had not read it; Jagger had simply passed it to him while he was visiting him in prison.
Britton flipped it over in her hands, afraid of its contents. He couldn’t be happy in confinement. Did he blame her? Would he ever forgive her? Did he want her to come visit before she left for Washington? She knew she couldn’t do that. Everyone still thought that she had been exclusively fighting for the Feds during her undercover operation. If she were to show her face at the prison, with an empathetic visit to Jagger, someone would surely start looking deeper into her case.
“Thanks Dom.” She softly smiled at him.
“Of course, sis.” He stood up, preparing to leave her to herself. He made his way to the door, not expecting her to walk him out in her current state. His hand touched the knob, and he quickly turned back to her. “Oh, and hey, thank you…for talking. I want you to know that I’m getting out.”
Britton’s shoulders lifted from their weights. “Really? Oh, Dom, are you sure?”
“I am. You know, you were right. I don’t want Matty only knowing me from behind bars.”
Britton suddenly felt as though she was to blame. “I wouldn’t, Dom. You know that.”
“Of course I do. But you didn’t turn Jagger in either, and look where he is.”
Britton’s focus went off into the distance. ‘Look where he is…’ It would be all she could ever think about. Those words were destined to haunt her forever. She snapped out of her trance and looked to Dominic. “I’m proud of you.”
“Awe, shucks, sis.” He teased, forcing her to smile back. He held out his arms, asking for a hug. She stood and met him with her open arms. It felt good to know she still had gained something from this venture. Her brother was back in her life, and she had influenced him to take a step in a different direction.
“Thanks for coming, Dom.”
“Of course. And hey, maybe we’ll make it out to Washington sometime.”
“Please do.” Her eyes begged. It would mean the world to her to see him again.
“Bye Brit.”
“Bye Dom.”
He walked out of the door into the night. He turned and gave her one last wave goodbye before disappearing into the dense trees. She closed the door and rested her weight against it. She didn’t want to move from that spot. She was afraid to read the letter that was sitting on the couch. She was afraid of the hurt it would bring her for the rest of her life. When Jagger had left her unconscious on the side of the road after the car accident, she had hated him with all of her might for ten straight years. How long would she hate herself for leaving Jagger to die in prison?
Britton found the strength to move back to the couch. She slid her finger under the seal of the envelope and lifted the flap. There was a single piece of paper lying inside. It was a letter from her love, possibly the last words she would ever know of him.
Dear Britton,
I know you’re angry with me for leaving you alone at our secret place, yet again. Please know it was not my intention for you to suffer. I spent too long putting you in harm’s way, and I couldn’t bear to do it any longer. I love you too much for that. The thought of our few days together is the only thing that will get me through the time I will be shackled to this place. You, my Britton, are the one true thing in this world to me, and I will spend the rest of my days making sure that you are never hurt again. That being said, and I hate to say this but I must…I don’t want you to wait for me. I will be in here for quite some time, and I NEED you to move on. Get married, have babies, and be the best damn FBI agent anyone has ever seen. I’m so proud of you for what you have made of your life. No one deserves happiness more than you.
I love you more than life itself. I pray you never forget that.
Jagger
P.S. My one request: please don’t marry David. I don’t trust blondes.
Britton let out a small chuckle as she reread his final line. Even in a goodbye letter, he was able to make her laugh. She loved him and hated him for that letter. Her mind fought the two sides of her emotions. The couch was too soft. She needed to feel her body, know that she was still breathing. Britton curled up beside the fireplace, holding his letter to her chest. She couldn’t cry anymore. There was nothing left.
Britton didn’t leave that spot beside the fireplace until it was time for her move to Washington. She stayed crushed to the cold stone for three days. It seemed only fitting.