Chapter TWENTY-FIVE
Ten Years Ago...
Jagger walked quietly through the woods, being sure not to break any sticks beneath his feet. He needed to be quiet. He wasn’t supposed to be seeing her, and he knew the consequences if he were caught. Would she be there? Would she be at their secret place? It was early in the morning, just after sunrise. He wondered how long he would have to wait until she arrived, if she arrived at all.
He made his way closer and closer to the old chimney, checking over his shoulder to ensure he wasn’t being followed. He rounded the stone and looked about. When he found out she was being released from the hospital he'd planted daffodils the night before, hoping she would see that as a sign and wait for him. Jagger widened his gaze as he approached their secret spot, and a slight movement caught his eye. There she was, curled up in the fireplace. He took a closer look at her broken body. What had he done to her? How did he let his own recklessness risk the life of his love?
He took another step, and she stirred. Jagger stopped. What was he doing here? He couldn’t ask her to put her life on the line again, just to be with him. She was so young, her whole life was ahead of her and she could do so much better than him. He'd gotten himself into some pretty bad stuff. How could he expect her to follow him into the darkness? No. He would protect her as best he could, by staying away. Maybe she would get out of this Hell-hole of a city. Maybe she would be able to put all of her terrible memories behind her and start a new life somewhere else. That was what she deserved.
“Goodbye Britton, I will always love you.” He whispered to the wind, and turned to leave her forever.
There was a noise. Who was there? Jagger quickly jumped around; he was ready to fight. There was nothing. Was he hearing things? He blamed his imagination and continued on. No one ever traveled through that patch of woods. Jagger looked up. The sky became black and the ground shook beneath his feet. He started to run.
Jagger awoke suddenly to the sound of thunder. It didn’t rain often in the desert; he wasn’t used to its roar. He'd been having that same dream every night since he found out that Britton was an FBI agent. He was haunted by his decision to leave her curled up in the fireplace so long ago. If he had come to her, told her everything, then she wouldn’t be after him now. They would have left Nevada together and never looked back. He was to blame. Maybe the person he was running from this whole time was himself.
It had been a month since he'd last seen Britton, but not a minute had gone by that he hadn’t thought of her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to wake up next to Britton and find out that the entire past four weeks had been a nightmare. But every morning he woke up to his own perpetual nightmare—alone.
Jagger couldn’t bring himself to go back to the casino. Once the only place he found solace and distraction, it was now too much of a reminder of her. He could picture her behind the blackjack table wearing that slick red dress. He imagined her up against the wall in his suite. He imagined her tied to the bed. He should've kept her there. He shouldn’t have let their relationship go past that night. How had he been so blind?
It had been a busy month for the Harbingers of Sorrow. They had to find another location for their headquarters. His family was uprooted and scared, because of his foolishness, because he had believed her lies.
Yet, it wasn’t a busy month for him. Jagger hadn’t left his house but a few times. He couldn’t bring his body to move. He feared he would run into Britton, and she would witness the devastation all over his face. He was sure that would break him.
Jagger was shaken from his thoughts by a knock at the door. His heart rose, thinking it might be Britton. She hadn’t made any attempts at contacting him, but neither had he. What would he say to her? Would he slam the door in her face, or let her in? He wrapped himself in his robe and made his way toward the sound of the continued knock. He held his breath in anticipation as he opened the door. He turned the knob and swung it open.
“Hey buddy. How you holding up?”
His eyes darted over his buddy's shoulder. “Hey Dom—” He didn’t want to seem disappointed, but he was. “You know how I'm doing bro.”
“Have you heard from her?” Dom asked, hopeful.
“No.”
“Have you called her?”
“I smashed her phone, remember?”
“Ah, yes, how could I forget?” He teased him.
Jagger tried to force a smile. He was still mourning.
“I just came by to tell you that we’re all moved in, and everyone misses you.”
“Good.”
“And a few of the guys wanted me to tell you that they can take her out if you want.”
Jagger became instantly defensive; he could feel his skin warm with anger. “Who did you tell? No one lays a finger on her. You make sure they know that.”
“Whoa, whoa, I was kidding. But hey, at least I got a reaction out of you.”
Jagger grumbled and walked to the couch.
“Jagger, you know how I feel about Brit. I don’t understand what happened.”
“She betrayed us.”
“Did she?”
“Yes.”
“But you’re still here. No one has been tailing us. She didn’t tell them anything.”
“She lied to me.”
“And I’m sure you never lied to her about anything.” Dom knew he was pushing it here.
Jagger sat down, gazing out his window at the rain. “I didn’t. She knows everything about me. She’s the only one.”
He scratched his head, not sure how to console his mentor, his friend. “Then go get her back.”
“I can’t.”
“I’ve never heard you say that before.” His voice lilted and his eyebrow raised.
“She works for the FBI. I…well, I do what I do. Those two professions don’t blend well.”
Dominic paused, interested in Jagger’s reaction to his next suggestion. “What if you didn’t do what you do?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Face it, you have enough money, you don’t need to do this anymore.”
“I can’t just leave everyone.”
“Yes you can. They—We will understand. You've done so much for all of us dude.”
“Is this your way of getting me to step down so you can take over?” Jagger wasn’t sure how he felt about this. He didn’t want Dominic coming out from behind the desk. He wouldn’t be able to keep him safe if that were the case.
“Actually, I was thinking I’d come with you.” He spoke the words slowly and deliberately. He had been thinking about them for a time, just needed the right moment for the suggestion.
“What?” The thought never had crossed his mind that Dominic was ready to move on. He was great at his job. “Since when?”
“You know, I never thought about it, but when Brit was here, she asked me if I ever worried about the danger we put ourselves in. Then, finding out that we had let someone from the FBI get so close to us made me realize how easy it is to slip up. I don’t want Matty to grow up without a father because I’m in prison, you know? And what kind of a role model am I?” He gestured to himself, and then dropped his hands to his sides, defeated. “I don’t know.”
Dom sat next to Jagger, sharing his stare. They both leaned back, contemplating their next steps. The rain beat harder, splashing against the window. Jagger wished he were in his cabin, cuddled by the fire with Britton. He pictured her head lying on his chest, and he was combing her hair with his fingers. There was no crime syndicate, and there was no Bureau. There was only the two of them.
“You can leave, Dom. I’m not stopping you.” Jagger said.
“I know.”
“You’ve been like a brother to me.”
“And I always will be.”
“So is this it?”
“No. I’m still going to take care of things until you get back on your feet.” Dom assured him.
It meant a lot to hear him say that. The club would be able to run without him. Someone would take over. They were a family. They helped each other out.
“I’m going to go get her.” Jagger declared.
“You are?”
“Yeah, I am.”
Jagger made his way to the foyer, motivated by his resolution. He threw the door open and paused, as a bolt of lightning shot through the sky.
“Scared of a little rain?” Dominic teased.
“No.”
“Going to put on some pants first?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He laughed.
Jagger ran to his bedroom, content for the first time in a month.