He reassuringly pressed his lips against mine—but then he stopped himself and pulled
away.
We went to grab lunch at a small diner that Cameron knew about. Then we made our way back to the
cabin where Meatball was waiting for us, his fur still wet from a recent swim. Cameron convinced
me to join him for a swim in the pond. Although I didn’t enjoy getting the slimy lily pads
stuck between my toes, being alone in the water with Cameron was well worth all the ickyness of
the weeds.
When the sun went down, we crawled into bed, and I looked for a distraction. What I found
surprised me.
“Why can’t you just kill Shield?” I asked him, before I realized that I had just suggested
that someone get killed.
Cameron wasn’t shocked by my question. “I wish I could just get rid of him that easily, but he
’s got too many connections. When someone like that goes missing or turns up dead, people start
asking questions and pry into our stuff. Anyway, any decision like that needs to be made by all
the leaders, not just me. They would never risk attention from the Feds just so that I can
protect the girl that I love.”
His voice trailed off and he fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Three:
Normal?
Rocco’s face came back to haunt my dreams. I woke up, but there were no tears or cold sweats
this time—just a great sense of loss. The room was almost completely dark, with the only light
coming from the moonlight that shone through the small cottage windows. I knew that Cameron was
still asleep—his heavy breathing was tickling the back of my neck. I spun around without making
a noise to make sure that he was really there, and not just something else that my ailing mind
had made up.
He was definitely still there.
I watched him for a while and tried to breathe as quietly as possible. I was afraid of waking
him up. This was the only time that I could look at him as much as I wanted to without having to
look away, embarrassed when he discovered me. I watched his stomach heave up and down, his fists
still clenched, readied while he slept.
But Cameron’s alarm system was much more in-tune than mine. His eyes snapped open like he could
hear my stare. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he gasped. He threw a glance around the room and
stopped back at me, ready to jump up and grab the gun that he left next to him.
I was caught off-guard. The blood came rushing through, my face was boiling hot, I stopped
breathing. It was already too late—as soon as his eyes had opened, my brain had turned itself
off. I wouldn’t have been able to speak even somewhat coherently, let alone conjure up some
lame excuse as to why I was staring at him in the middle of the night. I gave into the impulse,
and, without an inch of reserve, I kissed him … more forcefully than I thought myself capable.
Cameron was startled by my attack and remained still. He patiently let me kiss him, like he was
waiting for the punch line.
After a few seconds, his body relaxed. And then it tensed again, his hands grabbed hold of my
face.
All of a sudden, he pushed himself away, keeping me at arm’s length. “Emmy … please stop …”
I shook my head. “No,” I told him without waiver. “I love you, Cameron. I won’t stop.”
This was enough.
Everything happened in fast and in slow motion. Our clothes indiscernibly made their way to the
floor—yet I could smell every inch of his skin, hear his every breath, and feel every part of
him that touched my skin like time stood still.
The gray light of dawn brought a natural smile to my face. I had secretly and guiltily imagined
this moment the instant I met Cameron—what it would be like to be with him in that way. Turned
out the real thing was a million times better.
I was blissful.
It was still very early. Not even the birds were up. The cottage was so quiet that I thought I
could hear Cameron blinking. He was awake too. I turned around. His cheeks were blotted red, but
not in a good way, not like mine. He was glaring at the ceiling.
“Was I that bad?” I joked, though I was afraid of the answer.
He was startled out of whatever dark corner of his mind he had been in. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” I said shakily, carefully, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“I took advantage of you.”
Huh? I was pretty sure that I had attacked him. “Then can you do it again? Because I’m
starting to get cold over here,” I said, confused. I had meant that in every sense of the word.
His odd mood was making me shiver.
Cameron searched my face with worry, looking for evidence of whatever crime he thought he had
committed. “Are you okay? Did it hurt?”
He was too close for me to try to lie. “A little. At first,” I admitted. “It was wonderful.”
But he wasn’t really listening to me. “I shouldn’t have let this happen. I really messed
things up.”