Cameron turned his eyes to the sky. When I thought that he wasn’t going to answer me, his
voice came back to me. “It was easy for me to check up on you when Bill first died. I’d go
watch you play soccer at school or watched while you shopped in the mall. When I was sure that
you were okay, I could leave without thinking twice about it. But then I started to want to see
you more and more. That’s when things got really weird. I watched you go to rich people parties
… I wanted you to have all those things in your life …”
A shadow had crept over Cameron’s face. He took a long breath before he turned his eyes back to
me. “The hardest times for me were definitely when a new guy came around to sweep you off your
feet. Every time I thought for sure that this guy or that guy was going to stick and be the guy
that you’d fall in love with. That’s when I’d decide to go out and live my own, abnormal
life. Find some girl to keep me company.” He took another moment, then he chuckled. “Maybe I
didn’t throw them off my bed like some people, but the girls never lasted.”
“But did you have to do that with them?” I asked half-teasingly, trying to change the mood
back.
I was grateful when he laughed. “Emmy, I’m a gang leader. The people I do business with would
think there was something wrong with me if I didn’t do that.”
His face was near mine and he was smiling. I took advantage and kissed him. It was strange for
me to want someone so much it hurt. He let me kiss him for a second, but then he withdrew and
rolled on his back turning his eyes to the sky. I felt like I had just been slapped in the face.
“I don’t understand what you’re doing, Cameron.”
Cameron turned to me in shock. “What?”
“I know I’m not as pretty as Manny,” I told him, holding back tears.
“Is that what you think?” he huffed.
“I don’t know what I think. One minute, you’re hugging me, the other minute you’re running
away. I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”
He sighed. “Emmy, I wish you could see yourself, see what I see, see how beautiful you are.
Have you never noticed how everyone’s head turns to watch you enter a room?”
“I’m sure the red hair and polka dots have nothing to do with that,” I mumbled, sarcasm
seeping through.
“Where did you get such a screwed-up view of yourself?” His temper flared a little. “You’re
beautiful, Emmy. Why can’t you see that?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. Cameron hadn’t been there when kids were trying to outdo
each other on finding new nicknames for me or when they were taking bets in high school on
whether I had red hair, all over.
He took a breath, reached over and swept a lingering hair away from my face. “For me, there’s
no one else but you.”
A tear escaped the corner of my eye and slid down the side of my nose. “Then why won’t you
kiss me?”
His eyes were piercing. “Do you know how hard this is for me? I want to kiss you. I want to
wrap my arms around you, never let you go.”
“You’re making me so confused.” This time I let myself roll onto my back in exasperation.
Something blocked my sun. I opened my eyes to see Cameron leaning over me. He was wretched. All
the features of his face were pulled in pain.
“I thought I lost you,” he told me in a murmur. “When I got back to the house, when I found
Rocco … Emmy, I started looking for your body too, and when I didn’t find you … I thought for
sure they had taken you, which would have been just as bad. I had no idea where to start looking
or how I was going to get you back—”
“But you did get me back. You found me.”
“I found you,” he agreed. “But look at what I’ve done to you. Everything that you’ve been
through, that you’ve seen … you would have never had to go through that if it wasn’t for me.
The fact that you’re here is pure luck. I’m not going to make this worse for you by making us
more complicated. I haven’t changed my mind, Emmy. Once this blows over, you’re going home.”
There was no hint of doubt in his voice.
“When?” I asked, my voice shuddering.
“I don’t know. As soon as it’s safe for you.”
I left it alone—for now—but I wasn’t going to give up. Since Cameron had recognized that
there was an us, I still had hope.
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Fitting Pieces Together
I remembered. Rocco was spread on the ground. I yelled at him to get up, but he refused to move.
I was frantic. He was lying on the grass right in front of me, and I bent over, trying to get to
him, but someone was holding me back. I fought the hand that was grabbing onto the back of my
shirt and turned around to see Norestrom sitting across from me at the picnic table. I was back
at the outdoor commons of Callister University. I now knew that the man who had joined me during
my lunch break all that time ago was named Norestrom.
I woke up in a cold sweat. Cameron had already taken hold of me. I was screaming Rocco’s name.
His face had implanted itself in my brain while I was sleeping, and it wasn’t going anywhere
this time. Cameron rocked me back and forth as the tears and quivering started up again. But
something was different this time. I didn’t want to hold any of it in anymore. After a few
minutes, I willed myself to calm down, and I turned to Cameron. He looked sick with worry.
“Emmy, are you—”
“Who’s Norestrom?” I asked point blank, wiping the wetness from my face.