The lights on our floor should have been off, but the corner office—the one that was never occupied—was brightly lit. My white Harley Quinn boots took me straight to it. I stood in the doorway, waiting for him to look up.
“What the fuck are you doing back here?” Cade grumbled, flicking his gaze up momentarily before focusing on one of the four computer screens in front of him.
“Party’s in full swing out there.” I motioned behind me, ignoring his attitude.
“Then go enjoy it. I’ve got work to do,” he grumbled as he typed away at something.
Instead of obeying, I pushed off the doorframe and came toward him to see what he was working on. When I rounded his desk, I felt a zing of exhilaration. You didn’t go look over a hacker’s shoulder or stand behind them unless there was full trust.
He didn’t fight me, but I saw his muscles bunch up. I’d gotten a reaction out of him, whether he wanted to give me one or not.
“The party’s for you and us. You came with a mask and everything, then disappeared. Sort of missing the point of being on a team.”
He turned to give me a stare so cold, it could rival Antarctica. “And what about you? You come back here to tell me that because you want to celebrate with me too?”
“I wanted . . . I needed a second away.”
“Because your ex broke your little heart?” He turned back to his screens.
“Or maybe because my boss groped me in an elevator on the way to the party.”
“Hardly groping when you unbuttoned your shorts and rode my hand, baby doll,” he murmured, clicking away on the computer.
“Harley Quinn’s nickname was always dollface, not baby doll.”
“Well, you’re acting like a baby, so either suits you,” he pointed out.
I rolled my eyes at him and decided to not engage. Instead, I changed the subject. “What are you working on?”
“Nothing of importance to you.”
“I could maybe help,” I tried.
He shut my offer down immediately. “I don’t need help. I assign you all the work that I deem feasible for you.”
I tried to peer over his shoulder, but he straightened to block my view.
I crossed my arms in front of me. “You don’t need help with anything, but we all help you, don’t we? You give Juda work for all of us from some remote location year-round.”
“I do that for most teams under my authority.”
“Must be isolating to never get to know your employees.” I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to see if he cared even the least bit.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes before he continued. “Izzy, I don’t want to deal with your shit right now. This is classified information, and I can’t have just anyone looking at it.”
I nodded and tried to ignore the sting in his words. It was a small dart thrown my way, but I was hyperaware of anyone’s potential distrust in me because of my past.
“Okay.” I dragged out the word. “If honesty helps prove to you that I’m not here to sling around my shit, I’ll try that. I’m not celebratory after being dumped, so I’m not enjoying the festivities. I’m tired, and I want to work, not party. Quite frankly, I probably shouldn’t be partaking in something like this anyway.”
He straightened and turned to face me. “What do you mean?”
“Well Lucas and I have been sober—”
“Is someone doing illegal drugs up there? Lucas has only been sober for a year and—”
“How do you know that?” I blurted out, confused with how he knew that and also that his tone sounded as if he cared.
He cleared his throat. “I know about the people that work for me, Izzy.”
“Well, no one’s doing anything illegal.” I didn’t want anyone getting in trouble with the boss when there was nothing to get in trouble for. “Lucas is fine. He’d call me if he felt he was slipping. But I know parties always trigger—"
Cade pushed away from his laptop and slammed it shut. “Then our team is done with this party.”
“No.” I stopped him and studied his approach. Cade didn’t know this team. Why would he care if Lucas and I were fine or not? “It won’t go over well. Just . . . I came back here to work. It’s where I feel most comfortable.”
“All you do is work, Izzy.” He rolled his eyes like it was bad.
“You have no idea.” I narrowed my eyes as I thought of something. “Do you watch our office?”
He didn’t deny it. “I watch all my teams.”
“You can’t possibly be taking in all that information while accomplishing what you have in the last year.”
It was well known that he’d stopped nuclear warfare, penetrated enemy systems, and kept adversaries at bay. “I also enjoy working, Izzy. I’m the boss. It’s my job to manage you.”
“Only because you won’t trust people like me to manage some of these employees,” I blurted, knowing it wasn’t the time nor place to get into this. Juda had told me at my six-month review that it’d be at least two years before Cade would consider giving me a higher position, that Cade had written that in my file.
“You’re not ready. You couldn’t even handle a breakup today.” He stated like it was obvious, before waving me toward the door. “I’ll go celebrate just so we don’t have to do this.”
“Do what? Engage in a normal social interaction?” I scoffed as I stomped toward the door and then out into the hall, him following me. One day he was going to have to come up with a different excuse for not promoting me. “Honestly, a year in, and I think I’ve proven I’m not a gamble, even if my boyfriend was a dick and needed a new paint job for his car.”
“Well, you had a misstep once or twice in your first few years working for the government,” he mumbled as we faced off in the darkened hallway. “Let’s not forget about that.”
My twin sister had been taken because our targets identified her as me. I hadn’t been careful enough to make sure she was safe. I wanted to scream in frustration at him bringing that up.
“Technically, I wasn’t even working for you back then. Besides, everything turned out fine.”
“I still had to watch that train wreck.”
I hated that he’d been privy to my undercover work and that not all of it was flawless. But everyone made mistakes when they were starting out. “That was the beginning of my well-decorated career, and Lilah is fine,” I spat.
“No thanks to you.”
My jaw dropped. “You have the audacity to act like I didn’t do what I could—”
“You were a kid trying to make a name for herself and didn’t respect the law, the dangers of the job, or the people you dragged into it.”
He was right. I’d tried to bring down a drug operation pretty much on my own. I had a chip on my shoulder and wanted to prove myself.
It was stupid.
And I knew that.
But I sure wasn’t going to admit as much to him.
“I held my twin sister in my arms while she bled out on my chest. You think I didn’t learn from my inexperience or lack of foresight?” I narrowed my eyes at him. This time he wasn’t the one backing me up against the wall. Instead, I advanced on him, a finger raised. “Don’t ever tell me I don’t respect the people I dragged into the operation. I more than respect them. I love them. Lilah and Dante mean everything to me.”
“I don’t doubt that,” he grumbled like he was insinuating something.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, it’s clear you had a thing for Dante. You kissed him.”
“I loved the idea of him!” I practically screeched, throwing up my hands. I didn’t get mad about this anymore. Yet, he pulled out the worst in me, the part I didn’t have control over. “I’ve told everyone this before. Even Lilah knows.”
“What idea exactly, Izzy? You like the idea of Dante with you instead of your sister?”
I wiped a hand over my face, so furious that I was allowing him to purposely goad me. I knew he was but I couldn’t stop myself from feeding into it. “That was so long ago! And if you must know, Dante not only used to be our neighbor, but he was also my friend, Cade. He was a friend like none I’ve ever had. I had guy friends who tried to hook up with me, get me drunk, or have me try drugs. They enjoyed me acting out and getting wild. But when I really fucked up, Dante was the only one who didn’t disappear and still believed in me. He was my friend.”
Cade crossed his arms and waited. I gave him a second to insult my explanation, but he didn’t. It was like he wanted me to confess more.
“He accepted me. He gave me a chance. So yes, I kissed the man. Yes, it was fucking stupid. Yes, I realize I betrayed my sister’s trust. I was blinded by the fact that he was there for me, him being a real friend when most were assholes. And then I fell for—” I stopped, almost ready to confess something I never had before. “I fell for a lot of dumb shit. My relationships were unhealthy, but he wasn’t. He was the family friend, the rock. He was maybe really my only friend—”
“What was I to you then?” His voice suddenly sounded broken and accusatory.