“I’m not done talking,” he states as if there’s no issue in this.
“Quinn, I promise I’ll kick the shit out of you if you don’t untie me.”
He laughs then moves to the chair, making himself comfortable. “You can try, but first you’ll need to get out. Here’s the deal. I don’t think you’re capable of making a rational decision right now. You need to sober up and figure out how the hell to claim your balls back. Right now, you’re waving a white flag to a man who cheated on his wife. Yeah, he was your friend. I get it. Are you willing to fight for her? If you’re not . . . then you don’t deserve her.”
Quinn stands and places a knife on the floor, clear out of reach. “You better run,” I warn him.
“You should be chasing someone else. Think about that and then clean this shit. You’re better than this,” he says and walks out the room.
I start to slide against the floor toward the knife.
Each inch I get closer, I think about what he said. The alcohol fog I was hoping for is lifting as the anger sobers me. Natalie begged me to take her away and fight for her. And all I wanted was to whisk her away and run. But the part everyone fails to understand is that this isn’t my fight. It’s hers.
I’ll never be able to push her away. I’ll wait forever if I have to, but I can’t fight this battle.
She has to be the one to choose me.
If she loves me like she says, she knows where to find me.
“Thanks, Rea,” I say as I place Aarabelle in the porta crib at her house.
I haven’t heard from Liam in two days. I’ve tried to get a hold of him multiple times, but he doesn’t respond. He’s starting to worry me.
“No problem. I love waking up at two a.m.” She yawns and nudges me.
Aaron was asleep on the couch tossing and turning. I literally snuck out of my own house. Since the first night, we haven’t spoken much. There’s not much for me to say. He tells me repeatedly that he wants to work on us, but it’s two people fighting to have the other let go. He wants me to let go of resisting him, and I want him to let me go. “I just need to see him. I won’t be long.”
Reanell takes me into her arms and holds tight. “Go. I’m sure he needs you.”
“I don’t know what to say to him,” I admit.
“Just talk to him. How are things at home?”
Reanell and I haven’t been able to talk except through text messages. Aaron hasn’t left my side except to sleep. “I don’t know. Rocky at best. He’s on the couch, which he’s not happy about. He keeps saying he’s going to prove how much we belong together.”
She looks at me with empathy. “I know this is hard. I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling, but I can say I’ve seen you with both men. I know the Natalie you were with Aaron and who you are with Liam. Neither was wrong, but one was definitely happier. I’m here no matter what.” Rea kisses the side of my cheek and swats my ass. “Now, go.”
I turn and head toward the man I’m desperate to see.
As I drive, I debate whether I should let him know I’m on my way. I worry that he won’t want to see me. The pain in his eyes haunts me. The need to see Liam as he was before all this is my only goal.
Guilt over leaving Aaron at home chews at my heart. It wraps around and squeezes me tight. My chest hurts, but I keep heading toward Liam. He’s who I need right now. I miss him, love him, and long to touch him.
I park and check my reflection, already hating the dark circles forming under my eyes. The red, blotchy marks on my skin from all the tears I’ve shed. The acid marks on my skin matching my insides.
I knock twice but he doesn’t answer. It’s the middle of the night and I didn’t call. I shouldn’t be surprised. Regardless, disappointment swells over me. I rest my head against the door, hoping to feel some sort of connection to him. If he can feel me here, he’ll open.
But instead the door shoves forward.
“Liam?” I speak quietly as I enter.
The hinges are broken, but look as if someone rigged the door back up. What the hell happened? I flip the light on in the living room, suddenly unsure if I’m in the right place. It’s a mess. Papers, bottles, and shattered glass is everywhere. There’s a hole in the wall by the television and a bloody towel lying on the floor.