“I am sorry if that was bad, but my head hurt so badly I could hardly focus on Emily.”
“Of course, it is fine. You were alone and exhausted. I told you I don’t want you overdoing. You are not 100 percent yet.” He kissed her head. “I spoke to your brother-in-law and moved our reservations back to eight o’clock. Maybe you should continue your nap for a little while. We don’t need to leave until seven thirty.”
Claire thought about it. She had about two hours, but decided a shower would be more beneficial. She already took a nap. They talked as Jan knocked on their door. She entered the room and put a coffee carafe, cream, and two mugs on a table near the windows. She inquired if they needed anything else. Learning they didn’t, she left.
The open drapes exposed a spectacular view filled with darkness even though it wasn’t even six in the evening. The New York city lights glittered below, evidence of inhabitants racing from place to place. Claire held her mug of coffee, inhaled the rich aroma, and fell silent, mesmerized by the sight. This time of year, with shorter dreary days, had always been a difficult time for her. She loved sunshine, it made her joyful. This year she had missed most of the autumn sun and now the bleakness of winter was rapidly descending.
To her, dark was contrary to light. Therefore, instead of joy it brought sorrow. That is why she liked Atlanta. She stood at the window, looked at a magnificent skyline, sipped her warm mug of coffee, and thought about being sad. This made her chastise herself. She should be happy about her wedding and her reunion with Emily. But what she really wanted was to be back in Iowa. She didn’t want the pressure of choosing a dress and dealing with Emily’s constant questions. She didn’t long for the warmth of Atlanta anymore, but for the warmth of her fireplace and lack of pretense.
She saw Tony approaching in the reflection of the window. He stood close behind her, put his arms around her waist, and she rested her head against his chest. Tony’s voice sounded soft and affectionate, “What are you thinking about? You seem far away.”
“I don’t want to say. You will think I’m ungrateful.” She put her mug down on the table and turned to face him.
Tony lifted her eyes to his. “I appreciate honesty above all.” He wasn’t being authoritative, only candid. He noticed how tired her eyes looked as he lightly kissed her lips. “And let me decide what I think.”
She continued to look in his eyes. The brown matched the color of her coffee lightened by cream. It gave her strength to be honest. “I want to go home.” His expression changed slightly, telling her that he didn’t understand her meaning of home. “Tony, I want to go back to your home, I want to be back in Iowa.” He smiled and hugged her.
“Why would that make you ungrateful?” She explained that she loved his surprise, seeing Emily and John thrilled her, but things have changed. Emily asked so many questions and seemed so dismayed by Claire’s life, it felt as though they weren’t connected anymore. Tony had released her chin and her face rested, buried in his chest. The thumping of his heart filled her with security. She closed her eyes and listened. The steady beat made her head feel better. She couldn’t see his face or smile of satisfaction.
She continued, saying that if she could she would cancel their dinner plans for tonight. Lifting her eyes again, he said, “You know that isn’t an option. We’ve made a commitment and we will honor it. But I am happy to know you want to be home with me, to our home. We will be there tomorrow.” Claire nodded her head and said that yes, she knew. She picked up her mug of coffee and went to the bathroom for a shower.
Once there she noticed the large garden tub. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t seen it before, it had been there all along, but it looked very inviting. Starting the warm water she decided to find out where they are going. When she opened the door to ask Tony, he was sitting on the bed with his back to her. He had her purse open, the contents strewn on the bed, searching for something. Perhaps something Claire had left in there that she shouldn’t have had. Maybe evidence of her being somewhere with Emily instead of the bridal boutique, but there was nothing. She considered saying something, confronting him about privacy, instead she quietly closed the door and thanked God she’d given him the paper with the telephone number.