Confessing to the Cowboy

chapter 18



Pain.

Cameron came to with a pain the likes of which he’d never known before. His chest felt as if it had been bisected and his upper left thigh was on fire. With his eyes closed he remained still, afraid to move. The constant beep of nearby machinery let him know he was in the hospital.

Mary! Her name flew through his head and he jerked up, instantly regretting his sudden move as darkness once again claimed him.

When he came to again the pain was tolerable and midafternoon sunshine flowed through the nearby window. How long had he been here? Somehow he knew it had been longer than just overnight.

Mary? He had to find out if she was okay. He fumbled to find the nurse call button and pushed it. He heard the responding ding from the nurses’ station outside of his room and it took only a minute for RN Kerry Killian to scurry inside, a bright smile on her face.

“Ah, you’re finally awake.” She moved to his side, bringing with her the scents of antiseptic hand sanitizer and vanilla perfume.

“How long have I been here?” he asked, his throat scratchy and raw.

“Three days.”

“Mary? Mary Mathis?” A frantic fear rushed through him as he stared at Kerry with the painful need to know.

“Mary is just fine. She’s been here to visit you during the afternoons and evenings.”

“And Jason McKnight...Brandon Williams?”

Kerry frowned. “He’ll probably never walk again so he’d better hope they let him take that scooter of his to prison with him.” She patted his shoulder. “And now I’m going to get the doctor and tell him you’re back among the living.”

Cameron relaxed back against the pillows. Mary was safe and apparently his backup team had arrived in time to take care of McKnight. Whatever physical injuries Cameron had suffered didn’t matter. The bad guy was behind bars, his town was safe and most important of all Mary was okay. That’s all that truly mattered.

A quick chat with the doctor let Cameron know that he’d received eighteen stitches in his thigh, and ten in his chest. He’d received a blood transfusion to replace what he’d lost and he’d also suffered a punctured lung, which was healing nicely. The doctor thought he could go home in another day or two.

It wasn’t long after the doctor left that Mary stepped through the door. The sun shone bright on her blond hair and her beautiful blue eyes radiated warmth.

To Cameron’s embarrassment, tears filled his eyes. Before he could swipe them away she sat in the chair next to his bed and grabbed his hand, her own eyes also misty.

“Oh, Cameron, you had me so scared,” she said, laughing as they each wiped their eyes.

“I felt the same way about you. My last thought was that I was dying and there was nobody to save you.” Anguish welled up inside him.

“But you did save me. You braved Jason’s knife without any weapon of your own. You almost died because of me.” Once again her blue eyes welled up with tears.

“I would have died for you and Matt.” He hadn’t meant to say the words. He hadn’t meant for her to know how he ached for her love, how there were moments he wasn’t sure he could breathe without seeing her face.

He cleared his voice. “Thank God, my men got there to take care of Jason.”

“Actually, they didn’t.” She pulled her hands from his as her face paled. “You were on the floor and I thought you were dead. Junior was so traumatized he couldn’t stop sobbing and there was nothing left but me, Jason and your gun on the counter.”

Cameron stared at her in surprise. “You grabbed my gun? You shot Jason?”

“I wanted to shoot him through his cold, black heart, but despite what I thought I’d done years ago, I’m not a killer. I saw his power scooter and thought about the charade he’d played here for so long, the honorable vet who’d nearly given his life for his country, and had certainly given his legs for the cause. So, I shot him in his kneecap and then I shot him in his other knee.”

She raised her chin, as if expecting him to chastise her, but instead, to his surprise a bubble of laughter escaped his lips. Her eyes widened and suddenly they were both laughing. It was the laughter of survival, of returning from hell, the sound of victory in the face of what might have been defeat.

As it faded away, once again she took his hand in hers. “You have your town back,” she said. “The bad guy is gone and all is right in Grady Gulch.”

He nodded and squeezed her hand. “And you have your life back. You’ll never have to be afraid of Jason McKnight again. You’re free to run your café without fear, to build your future without secrets and to find the man who can share your life with you and your son. If I can’t have your love, Mary, then it’s enough to know that you’re happy.” The words hurt but he knew they were the right ones to say.

She was silent for a long minute and then released a deep sigh. “Oh, Cameron, I’ve been so screwed up about all this love stuff.” She released his hand and sat back in the chair. “For so many years I’ve been afraid to let anyone get too close for fear they’d find out that I was a murderer. Even if I could get over that fear, I had to question my judgment when it came to any man I might choose to be with.” Her face twisted in self-disgust. “I mean, look who I chose to marry.”

Cameron started to speak but she stopped him by leaning forward and taking hold of his hand once again. “Then I found out Jason was alive and we fell into bed together and I told myself I couldn’t be in love with you because we hadn’t even dated.”

His breath caught in his chest and it had nothing to do with the injury he’d suffered. It had to do with the dazzle in her eyes, a glittering that promised something wonderful about to happen.

“Every night that I turned that Open sign in the window to Closed it was with the anticipation that you were going to show up for that last cup of coffee. I loved the intimacy of sharing that time alone with you, talking about our day, our lives, our dreams. That’s when I realized we’ve been dating almost every night for the past eight years and that’s when I realized I could trust what I feel for you.”

“And that is?” Once again his mouth was dry and his heart beat painfully fast. He didn’t want to hope and be crushed and yet he couldn’t help the hope that surged up inside him.

“I love you.” She smiled, pure joy radiating from her gorgeous eyes. “I love you, Cameron Evans, and I want you in my life. I want you in my son’s life forever.”

For a moment he wondered if the final events in the café had altered his comprehension or maybe he was still under the influence of the anesthesia.

She frowned and loosened her grip on his hand. “Unless, maybe with everything that’s happened you’ve changed your mind about me...about us.”

“If I was capable right now I’d jump out of this bed and wrap you in my arms.” He saw his dreams shining from her eyes. “Mary, it feels like I was born loving you and I’m certain that I’ll die loving you.”

She rose from her chair and kissed him on the forehead. “Then hurry up and get well and get out of this place so we can start building our life together.”

Minutes later as he watched her leave his hospital room to deal with the dinner rush at the café, he knew he watched his future walking away and knew with equal certainty that she would be back. Their love had been strong enough to withstand secrets, a sleet storm and a serial killer. He figured together they could face anything the future might hold.