“The principal,” he says.
“Yes. The principal needs to be there—and liquid—when I need it. But if I’m going to be out of a job, then I want to be able to live on the interest and dividends. I’ve got a little bit of money coming in every month from my smartphone apps, and I’ve got a couple more that are almost ready to go.” I grimace. “I haven’t launched them because I haven’t had time, but I guess that’s not an excuse anymore.”
He reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “You’re going to be fine.”
“I am,” I say firmly. I’ve decided that the only way to deal with this is one step at a time. I’m not entirely sure what the step is that will get me past the mortification of being front and center in the tabloids, but at least I can take care of the rest. And if I’m going to be vilified for making a million, then I’m damn sure going to protect that million.
“So you can help me set this up? I want to know what percentage of the money I should put in stocks or bonds and all that kind of stuff.”
“I’ll teach you whatever you want to know,” he says.
I nod slowly, hesitatingly, and Damien eyes me warily.
“Brokers get paid with the trades, right?” I may be brilliant at math, but I’ve never wrapped my head around investment strategies. I’ve never tried, honestly. I’ve always been afraid that I’d do the same crap job as my mother, and the idea of being like my mother is far too disturbing.
“Right,” he said. “We could also interview financial managers. They take a percentage, but if they know their stuff, the money grows enough to cover the cost.”
“That’s where my mother screwed up,” I say. I don’t mean to speak aloud, and when I look at Damien’s face, I see soft understanding in his eyes.
“She made bad choices,” he says. “You won’t.”
“I’m not so sure. I’ve made plenty of bad choices in the past.”
I don’t do it intentionally, but I realize that my thumb is idly stroking the scar on my inner thigh.
“Just the fact that you’re being so careful and asking so many questions proves to me that you’re going to be fine. And so is your money. I work with several brokers and managers. If you like, I can have Sylvia set up some meetings, get them into the office today if you want.”
“That would be great,” I say, then immediately take it back. “No. No, never mind.”
“All right,” he says slowly, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. “Whatever you want.”
“That’s the thing,” I say. “I already know who I want.” I take a deep breath. “Will you manage it for me? I can’t imagine there’s anyone I would trust more than you.”
There is no trace of the hurt left on his face. Instead, there is only something soft and tender. His smile is slow, and the shake of his head is even slower. “No,” he says, and I gasp in surprise. “That’s not what I do. But I do oversee my own managers with such microscopic interest that I imagine they consider me among their most irritating clients. Fortunately, the percentage they earn off the growth is sufficient to quell that irritation. I won’t manage your money, but I will babysit it. I’ll introduce you to my manager, we’ll get you set up, explain your goals, and then I’ll watch over your nest egg. Sound good?”
“Will you explain the investment choices to me?”
“I’ll explain anything you want. We’ll do this together, okay? And who knows. Maybe next you’ll be asking me to help with your start-up.”
“Don’t push,” I say. I’ve explained to him why I want to take it slow, though I think he is on Jamie’s side of the equation. Damien would simply jump in and do brilliantly. I want to wade in slowly and do brilliantly.
He holds a hand up as if in self-defense. “I’m not pushing. Why would I push you to go out on your own when I’d much rather get you set up as a division of Stark Applied Technology?”
I laugh. “Once I’m out there on my own and raking in the dollars, then you can buy me out for some obscene amount of money. But I’m starting on my own.”
“Fair enough,” he says. “I just want to see you actually start. I’m waiting, you know. I fully intend to license some of your software for use in my offices. The cross-platform note system you told me about could come in quite handy.”
“All the more reason not to jump in before I’m ready,” I say firmly. “I don’t want to let you down.”
“You could never let me down,” he says. He pulls me in for a quick, firm kiss. “And, Nikki? Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For trusting me to help you with the million.”