“Oh, Nikki.” There are too many emotions packed into my name, and I cannot sort them out. “No matter what you tell the press, you deserve better than a relationship with a man behind bars.”
“I deserve you,” I say. “But if you think I can’t handle all of this, then you’re right. I can’t. Not without you. Damien, don’t you get it? I can’t just sit on the sidelines and watch them try you for murder. I need to be here. I have to be here. I need you.” I pause to draw a breath, and then tilt my head to look him in his eyes. “And I think you need me, too.”
The weight of eternity seems to hang in the second that passes before he answers.
“I do,” he says, and then, “God, Nikki, I do.” It is as if a glass wall around him has shattered. The life returns to his eyes, the smile to his face. Suddenly his arms are around me and he’s holding me close and I’m soaking up the rhythm of his heartbeat and breathing in the scent of this man I love so deeply.
“Then it’s okay that I came?” My words are tentative, uncertain.
“Oh, baby, yes,” he says, and the emotion in his voice almost brings me to tears. “You are my blood; without you, I’m nothing but a shell.”
“You should never have walked away,” I say.
“No,” he says firmly. “I had to. I had to give you that one fair chance to get free of me. Because you will be drawn into hell, Nikki, and though you may think I’m strong, where you are concerned I am weak. I am selfish. I walked away once to protect you, but I won’t do it again. If you want to go, do it now. Otherwise, I will keep you here beside me, because that is where I want you. By my side, Nikki. Always.”
I am trembling with relief from his words, and can only nod stupidly.
“I’ve been in hell without you,” he says. “Every minute was a fight against temptation. I wanted to send a plane for you. To say to hell with whatever was best for you and scoop you up for my own selfish needs.”
I lick my lips. “I think I would have been okay with that.”
“No,” he says, with an awed shake of his head. “I was so proud of you. Those things you said. The risks you took. You exorcised the demons, Nikki. The press may be an irritation, but you’ve taken their power away. They can’t destroy you. Not about that. Maybe not about anything.”
“It was easy. I just remembered how strong you’re always telling me I am.”
He brushes his fingertips across my cheek. Then he closes his mouth over mine in a long, deep welcoming kiss that makes my knees go weak and the rest of my body tingle in anticipation of his touch.
“I want to make love to you,” he says.
“Thank God,” I reply, which makes him laugh.
“But we can’t.”
I look up at him, suddenly afraid that I’ve been wrong and that he’s going to kick me out after all.
“I have to go meet with my attorneys.”
“Oh. Well, later?”
“Most definitely later. And for a very long time. But right now, would you come with me? I want you beside me when I meet with the lawyers.”
“Of course,” I say. “So does this mean I can stay?”
“You damn well better.” He slowly smiles, his eyes bright.
“What?” I say.
“I’m just hoping that you’re not a mirage.”
My smile widens. “I’m real.”
“Prove it,” he says, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out the emerald ankle bracelet. I gasp. “Put it on,” he says.
“But how—”
“I went back,” he says, bending to fasten it around my ankle, the light brush of his finger against my skin sending shockwaves rippling through me. “I had to have you with me … even if only a talisman.”
“Damien.” My voice is choked, my heart too full.
He stands, then presses a finger to my lips. “Later. Say too much and we’ll never get out of here. I want you right now—but I can’t miss this meeting.”
I grin and follow him to the door, anticipating later.
He pauses at the threshold. “Just one more thing. When I said you could stay? What I meant to say was I love you.”
I’m looking right at him as he speaks, and his eyes are shining. My mouth curls up into a delighted smile, and I find myself laughing like a child.
So what that we’re facing a murder trial? Damien and I love each other.
And right now, that’s enough for me.
1
Fear yanks me from a deep sleep, and I sit bolt upright in a room shrouded with gray, the muted green light from a digital alarm clock announcing that it is just after midnight. My breath comes in gasps, and my eyes are wide but unseeing. The last remnant of an already forgotten nightmare brushes against me like the tattered hem of a specter’s cloak, powerful enough to fill me with terror, and yet so insubstantial that it evaporates like mist when I try to grasp it.
I do not know what frightened me. I only know that I am alone in an unfamiliar room, and that I am scared.
Alone?
I turn swiftly in bed, shifting my body as I reach out to my right. But I know even before my fingers brush the cool, expensive sheets that he is not there.