“Oh, shit, Mom, she looks kind of white,” Jenna said. “I don’t know, but it looks like she’s going to pass out.”
“Someone get her head down. I’ll get a cold cloth.” Tara’s voice sounded like it was far away, as if she was talking from a tunnel. The room had started to turn, and Elizabeth’s fingers felt numb. She tried to suck in air faster because she couldn’t breathe.
“Jenna, close the door. Elizabeth, bend over and put your head between your knees.”
“I can’t breathe.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling sick.
“Elizabeth. Pay attention.”
She tried to lift her head, but all she could think about was breathing. All she could think about was gasping for air. And she might just fall out of the chair.
Cool hands pressed onto the back of her neck and shoved her forward. She felt something icy cold and wet on her neck.
“Breathe slow and easy honey. Not so fast. That’s what’s making you dizzy.”
Kathleen’s calm voice penetrated. Elizabeth did as requested, and it helped. The pins and needles feeling in her hands and feet started to subside, and eventually the numbness in her face started to go away.
“That’s it. Focus on each breath. Not so fast. Keep it slow.”
She did, keeping her eyes shut so the room would stop spinning.
“Now lift your head. Think you can do that without feeling dizzy?”
“I have no idea.”
“Try. Just try. If you still feel dizzy, we’ll lay you down on the bed.”
She opened her eyes and looked down at her feet, then slowly lifted her head. Still a little dizzy, but not the roller-coaster ride she was on a few minutes ago.
Tara swiped her hair away from Elizabeth’s face. “Better now?”
Elizabeth nodded. “Yes.”
“Here,” Kathleen said, holding a glass of water in front of her. “Take a couple of sips.”
She took the glass, but Kathleen held it for her while she sipped the water. She tilted her head back and tried for a smile. “Thank you.”
Elizabeth directed her gaze to Tara, then to Jenna, who kneeled in front of her. “Thank you both, too. I’m so embarrassed.”
Tara grinned. “Nothing like a good old panic attack, is there?”
“Is that what it was? I’ve never had one before.” She blew out a breath, then inhaled again, this time not doing it like she was running a breathing race. “Scared the hell out of me.”
“So the topic of my son brings out panic in you?”
She looked over at Kathleen. “Oh. No, not at all. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I wasn’t prepared to answer questions about how I feel about him.”
“Obviously,” Jenna said with a smirk. “Who knew my brother incited such panic in women?”
Elizabeth managed a laugh. “No, really, it’s not him. It’s me.”
“I’m sorry,” Tara said. “I didn’t mean to back you into a corner about Gavin.”
Elizabeth leaned back in the chair. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. Until the day I die, probably.”
“It’s okay, really.”
Elizabeth wasn’t sure it would ever be okay with Tara. “I really am sorry, Tara. I was so wrong, so focused on my career and Mick’s career that I was blinded. I hurt you and Nathan without thought. I would never use a child like that. I don’t know what I was thinking, and there’s no excuse for what I did.”
Tara leaned forward and grabbed her hands. “Apology accepted. Let it go, Liz. I have. And Nathan holds no grudge.”
She shuddered out a sigh. “Thank you. You’re very generous and much nicer than I probably would be.”
Tara laughed. “Well, don’t go fainting on me every time you see me. That would be a start.”
Elizabeth managed a smile. “It’s a bit disconcerting that you knew how I felt all along.”
“Well, you were kind of obvious. Your feelings for Gavin are written all over your face.”
She put her palms over her cheeks, the flame of embarrassment heating her. “They are?”
Tara gave her a sympathetic smile. “Yes, they are.”
“So, you’re in love with Gavin. Wow. I didn’t see it,” Jenna said. “You two have known each other for years. So is this a recent thing or have you been carrying a torch for a while?”
“For a long time, is my guess,” Tara said.
“Is she right?” Kathleen asked.
Elizabeth nodded.
“Does Gavin know?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “No. God, no. And I don’t want him to know.”
Kathleen frowned. “Why not?”
She looked down at her hands. “This is hard to explain.”
“Because a guy has to fall in love with you because it’s what he wants, not out of obligation.”
Elizabeth lifted her head and nodded at Tara. “Yes.”
“Which means, Mom, that we need to butt out and let Elizabeth and Gavin handle their relationship the way they see fit,” Jenna said.