He bit out a curse he hadn’t uttered since his college days. “I’m not the right guy for you, Isabel.”
She gave him a determined look. “I’m talking about a kiss. Not the rest of our lives.”
He shook his head. “Same answer.”
She hesitated, swallowed hard. “You said in the elevator that it’s better to face the unknown than fear it. What if you’re my modern-day Steven Thompson?”
“This time you should walk away,” he muttered.
“Please answer the question,” she pleaded. “Otherwise I’m going to feel like a total idiot. Good or bad, I can take it.”
He pressed his hands to his temples. It’d taken a lot of nerve to ask that question. And it had been his mistake in ever admitting he found her attractive. “Yes,” he conceded finally, “I want to kiss you but—”
“Alex.” The tension in her face slid away. “Get on with it, will you?”
“This is an insanely bad idea,” he groaned. But he was already stepping into her and lowering his mouth to the lush temptation in front of him. Because really, how much would one kiss hurt? “You just about passed out up there,” he murmured against her lips.
“I’m fine,” she said, tilting her chin up so their lips touched more firmly. Then the insanity of the day took over and he brought his mouth down on hers in a sensual tasting that explored every centimeter of her undeniably sweet lips.
His brain told him this was a bad idea even as he reached up and cupped the back of her head to change the angle of the kiss. Deeper, harder it went until she sighed and melted into him, curling her hands into his shirt. He was not unaware of how easy it would be to slip her panties off, wrap her legs around his waist, release himself and take her right there, right now. Exactly as he’d imagined it a few minutes ago...
Except he was a sane man. She hadn’t eaten. She was dizzy. And she most definitely did not know the score.
He lifted his mouth from hers and gently pushed her away from him. “You need to eat,” he said roughly. “This has been quite a day.”
Myriad emotions flickered through those dark eyes of hers. “Alex, I—”
He put a finger to her mouth. “No more talking. Not one word until we eat.”
“But—” The doorbell interrupted her.
“That’s dinner.” He ran his hands through his hair and straightened his clothing. “Go outside and sit down. I’ll bring everything out.”
She gave him one last, long look, then pressed her lips together and slid off the counter. He cursed under his breath as he watched her walk out of the room. He’d been right. He was a dead man.
* * *
Izzie focused on forking the small amount of food she thought she could consume into her mouth at the small candlelit table Alex had set on the terrace. The herbed pasta was delicious, but it was hard to eat when her heart was still pounding and her hands trembling so much negotiating a fork seemed like a new and highly complex activity. And why wouldn’t it when she had literally jumped into the deep end and invited the most spectacularly good-looking man she’d ever met to kiss her—and he had! Not to mention the fact that the kiss had been the most incredible of her life and all she could think about was experiencing more of the bone-meltingly delicious heat that had coursed through her veins. It was as if every nerve ending in her body had been switched on for the first time and she wasn’t sure whether to revel in it or be completely terrified of what she was feeling.
She swallowed hard, forced down the food. The fact that she’d been right—that Alex was attracted to her—made her head feel as though it was going to explode. Maybe Jo was right. Maybe it had been her defensive attitude that had turned men off in the past and not the few extra pounds she’d been carrying. Which had always been her excuse.
She took another sip of the rich, full cabernet that was going a long way to mellowing her out. But the wine didn’t seem to be having the same effect on Alex, who’d glowered at her throughout the entire meal—as if she’d committed a crime rather than simply kissed him.
She risked a quick glance at him. He was still watching her with that same implacable frown on his face, that penetrating blue gaze of his impossible to read. And it occurred to her she hadn’t fully thought through her plan. She had the mind-numbing confirmation that he was attracted to her. The question now was what was she going to do about it?
Her heart pounding in her chest, she set her fork down with an abrupt movement, and the sound of metal clattering against fine china echoed in the still night air.
He gave her half-empty plate a narrowed glance. “That’s all you’re going to eat?”
“It was delicious, thank you. I think that’s about all I can handle.”
“All right.” He laid his fork down with a deliberate movement and pushed his plate away. “Let’s talk about what happened.”
Gladly. She took another sip of her wine to fortify herself and set the glass down.
“That kiss shouldn’t have happened.”
She was ready for that one. “Why not?”
“I’m much more experienced than you, Isabel. I’m not interested in relationships—in fact, mine never last longer than a few months, and the women I date are well aware of that.”
“So?”
He did a double take at the belligerent note in her voice. “You’re also probably still in shock from what happened today.”
“I’m absolutely fine,” she countered. “In fact, I feel like I have more clarity right now than I’ve ever had in my life.”
He sat back in his chair, his gaze on her face. “What kind of clarity?”
She twisted the stem of her wineglass on the table, watching the bloodred liquid shimmer in the candlelight. “That was my worst fear today. Facing it—getting through it—” she paused, looking up at him “—it’s made me realize how much of my life I’ve lived in fear...how many times I’ve not gone after what I wanted because I was afraid I wouldn’t get it or it would explode in my face.”
He gave a wary nod. “That’s a good realization.”
She shook her head. “I’m not looking for a relationship, Alex.” A husky laugh escaped her. “In fact, that’s the last thing I need right now.”
His eyes narrowed. “Then what are you looking for?”
“I don’t want to live with any more regrets.”
He shook his head, a wry smile curving his lips. “You’re twenty-five, Isabel. How many regrets can you have?”
She took a deep breath, meeting his gaze head-on. “I will regret it if I walk away from tonight without exploring the attraction that’s between us.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. He sat there completely silent, staring at her. “I’m not sure you know what you’re doing.”
She shook her head. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”
A long moment passed; it might have been four, five seconds, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she was holding her breath, sure at one point he was going to reject her. The warm night air pressed so heavily against her lungs she thought they would burst. And then something shifted, morphed on the air between them. And she got her answer in the darkening of his eyes.
He stood up and held out a hand. “Let’s go enjoy the view, then.”