Chances Are

chapter Twenty

Paris

“This tea is too tepid,” Angela groused.

“Sorry.” Jake took back the mug of tea he’d just handed her. “Let me heat it up for you.”

She watched him disappear into the kitchen and blew out a heavy sigh. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the tea. It was Jake’s attitude that was driving her crazy.

She’d been home for over a week. Since her apartment was on the third floor, she had decided to stay in her parents’ home. A single level with no steps or stairs, the house was a breeze to maneuver through on her crutches.

Oddly enough, coming to her parents’ home had given her some kind of closure. The grief wasn’t as sharp or overwhelming as it had been before. Instead she had found comfort here, as if her family’s love had been retained within these walls. She now knew she wouldn’t be selling the house. She was going to give up her apartment and move back here. This was her home now.

Hearing the microwave ding, Angela braced herself for the confrontation. Jake had taken care of every need she might have. He’d been sweet, attentive and kind. Had done everything she asked and had attempted to anticipate her needs before she even had them. Was it any wonder he was driving her up the wall?

Where was the man who went out of his way to piss her off to get a reaction? Where was the man who joked with her, flirted with her? Where was the man who’d made such passionate love to her that just the memory of that night could bring her to arousal?

She missed that man. The fascinating, frustrating, and infinitely loveable Jake Mallory had been replaced with a guilt-ridden, too-polite stranger. She wanted the real Jake Mallory back. She wanted to fight and laugh with him, kiss and caress him until her breath became his.

He blamed himself for what happened and had apologized multiple times. And for each apology, she had insisted that what happened hadn’t been his fault. The guilt from his wife’s tragic death had colored the true facts. He was intent on taking all the blame on himself. Angela couldn’t allow that to continue.

And even if there was blame, then it should be shared. They’d been partners and had completely missed the fact that just because she had taken herself off the op, didn’t mean the killer wasn’t following her.

For the last couple of days she had become deliberately impossible, making all sorts of demands on him that any reasonable person would refuse. But Jake and his wrongly placed guilt continued to take her abuse. She wanted to cry.

Returning to stand in front of her, he handed her a steaming mug. “Here you go. See if it’s any better.”

Not lifting her hand to take the tea, she just shook her head. “It won’t be.”

“What?”

“Look Jake, I really appreciate all you’ve done but I don’t think this is going to work out.”

“Why?”

“Because nothing you do can change what happened.”

Setting the tea on the table beside the couch, Jake slumped into a chair across from her. “You’re right. God, I’m so sorry, Angela. Instead of bringing you tea, I should be asking your forgiveness. I should be—”

“No. Stop, Jake. I can’t take it anymore.”

“You want me to leave?”

“What I want you to do is acknowledge that what happened to me wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it was. “

Frustrated, she went another direction. “What did you tell me when I first called and told you that the killer was within a few yards of me?”

He frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“What did you tell me to do…what were your exact instructions?”

“I told you to hold your gun on him till I could get to you.”

“Exactly. Did I do that? No. I disobeyed your order and I let Delacourte take me.”

“But I shouldn’t have allowed—”

“Allowed? You didn’t have a choice. I made the decision on my own.”

Several long moments of silence followed. Angela’s heart was in her throat as she watched emotions play across Jake’s face. Then slowly, as realization came, the too solemn expression she’d seen the last few days changed to the beginning of anger. His eyes took on a glint and her heart kicked up an optimistic beat. Had she, at last, penetrated his wrongly placed guilt?

“You had no right to make that decision on your own.”

“But I did. And it turned out okay.”

“It sure as hell didn’t. You were tortured, dammit.”

“But I’m alive, Jake. And so is Clarissa.”

Jake surged to his feet and shoved his fingers through his hair. He’d been living on adrenaline since Angela was taken and had yet to let go. Now it all came crashing down on him—the fear, the dread, the terrible knowledge that she could be dead. And then finding her, only to realize that she had been tortured.

Now came the anger, which he had to admit felt damn good. “You disobeyed a direct order,” he said softly.

“Yes, I did.”

“You could’ve been killed.”

“I know.”

The more he thought about it, the more pissed he became. He paced as he continued, “You were a rookie. Making this decision against my orders was impulsive and irrational. Getting yourself killed wouldn’t have solved anything.” He whirled around to glare at her. “You should’ve followed my orders. That was what you agreed to do. You should have—”

For the first time since he’d begun lambasting her, he noticed that instead of looking guilty or angry, she was smiling.

“What the hell are you smiling about?”

“Because this is exactly what you should have said to me all along instead of treating me like some sort of damaged creature. I’m injured, not damaged. I can take the heat.”

Explosive feelings he hadn’t had in years coursed through him. Hell, he didn’t know if he’d ever felt this way. His head told him to continue to rail at her, that he was still furious with her for putting herself at risk. His heart said something else.

Listening to his heart for the first time in years, Jake dropped to his knees in front of her and pulled her into his arms. Holding her tight, he whispered harshly, “Do you know what it would have done to me if I’d lost you?”

“I’m so sorry I put you through that.” Her arms twined around his shoulders and she said softly, “Forgive me?”

His chest tight with emotions he dared not let loose, Jake pulled away slightly to kiss her. He had meant it to be soft and sweet…a loving kiss, nothing more. Making any demands on Angela’s abused body was out of the question.

As usual, Angela had other ideas. The instant Jake’s mouth touched hers, she opened, letting his tongue slip through. When he would have pulled away, she grabbed his shoulders and spoke against his lips, “I’m not made of glass.”

Refusing to deepen the kiss, he backed away. “I took advantage of you once before.”

Her responding laugh was soft and full of sexy confidence. “Really? Well then, feel free to take advantage of me like that any time you like. In fact, I have some time right now. How about you?”

Unable to stop himself, Jake ground his mouth against hers, smothering her laughter. As she melted into his arms, peaceful contentment filled him—something he barely recognized as belonging to him. With Angela in his arms, safe and sound, all was right with his world at last.

Lifting her into his arms, Jake headed to the bedroom he’d been using. Every night he had fantasized about having her there with him. He felt as though he’d waited a lifetime to show Angela what she meant to him. His body urged him to lay her on the bed and bury himself inside her until they were both breathless and sated. Again, he listened to his heart. The first time they’d been together, it had been all about heat and quenching the fire that had been building between them since they first met. And though the fire within him was hotter than ever, tonight he wanted to show her what she meant to him. She needed to understand that this wasn’t just a brief, intense moment of passion. This was something more.

Jake settled her onto the bed and pulled away to look down at her. Never had she looked more beautiful to him. In his lifetime, he had seen his share of courage. He knew what bravery looked like and what it didn’t. What Angela had survived was anyone’s worst nightmare. And instead of being emotionally damaged, there was an odd kind of peace about her. As if the experience had uncovered a hidden depth of strength within her.

“What are you waiting for?”

With a quick jerk, Jake pulled his shirt apart, barely aware of the clicking noise as buttons hit the hardwood floor. Angela laughed softly at his apparent urgency…the husky sound pushing him to go even faster.

Next came his shoes, jeans and then his underwear. When he was completely nude, he came to her, aching and hard, so aroused that at one touch, he might explode. He wouldn’t.

Kneeling beside her, he raised her to sit up. “Let’s get rid of these clothes.” His voice sounded like the growl of a hungry wolf—appropriate since that’s exactly how he felt.

Her expression a mixture of curiosity and need, Angela sat up and looked expectantly at Jake. With quick efficiency, he stripped her bare.

“Wow, you’re really good at getting clothes off fast.”

Pushing her gently back onto the bed, he came over her. “Let me show you what else I’m really good at.”

Breathless with anticipation, Angela lay supine on the bed, waiting for Jake’s next move. She wanted to smooth her hands down his hard, muscular body and allow her mouth to follow. Reading his expression, she knew that this wasn’t like their first time. Then it had been all about devouring each other to satisfy their need. This time, it was something altogether different. Hesitant to read too much into his tender expression, Angela nevertheless felt more hopeful than she ever had before with Jake.

Starting with the edge of her jaw, Jake’s mouth glided down her skin. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days and the stubble was both abrasive and arousing. Angela arched her neck to give him greater access. Jake obliged, and then stopped at the hollow of her throat to press a tender, hot kiss.

“Jake,” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing. Just…Jake.”

She could feel his smile against her skin. As he moved away from her neck, her nipples hardened in anticipation. When his hot mouth covered one, Angela’s entire body arched in response.

Unable to resist, she weaved her hands through his hair and held his head as he suckled her. The throb of her sex coincided with every draw of his mouth. Her body arched again, needing his touch, wanting him.

A big hand pressed against her lower belly to still her movements. He was only inches away from the part that throbbed, needed, and literally ached for him. She tried shifting, hoping his fingers would slide down.

Jake released a husky, masculine laugh, causing delicious goose bumps to cover her body. “Impatient, are we?”

“Very,” Angela gasped.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime.”

He raised his head, locked his gaze with hers, and answered quietly, “I do too.”

Her heart soared at the declaration. Before she could respond, he moved swiftly and placed his mouth in the exact spot she needed him. Angela opened her legs, arched her hips, and gave herself up to the most intensely erotic moment of her life as Jake used his mouth and tongue…even his teeth to give her pleasure. She stiffened as she neared the edge. With each thrust of his tongue, she drew closer and closer to that moment where she knew she would fall into ecstasy. A blinding light flickered behind her lids and she was there, falling… falling and then she was suspended, floating… Her keening cry echoed through the house as she zoomed through space and then crash-landed into a soft, velvet oblivion.

Breathlessly, she raised her head to look at Jake. His eyes, a darker blue than she’d ever seen them, glittered with satisfaction. “Do you know how beautiful you are when you come?”

Angela, who never blushed, could feel her face heating. “Um…no.”

He grinned and came over her, settling between her legs. Poised at her entrance, he said softly, “You will.” And with that promise, he buried himself inside her.

Forgetting his astonishing statement, she wrapped her legs around his lean hips and gave herself over to Jake’s delicious lovemaking. Where he had been tender and gentle before, this time it was hard, fast and exactly what she needed.

“Need more,” Jake muttered.

“What?”

In an abrupt move, he pulled out of her and went to his knees. Before she could ask what was wrong, Jake hooked his arms under her knees, pushed her legs up and then spread them wider. Then he was in her again, going deeper than he ever had before. Pistoning back and forth, his erection rubbed frantically against her * creating an erotic friction, sparking a fire that burned within her entire body. Urging him on with pleas that she barely comprehended, Angela found herself on a peak she’d never reached. Without thought of the consequences, only knowing she wanted Jake with her, she wrapped both hands around his hard length and pushed him even harder inside her.

A sound like the growl of a rabid animal emerged from Jake’s chest and he slammed into her. Biting her lip to hold on to the ecstasy as long as possible, she closed her eyes. How she loved this rougher, out of control side of Jake.

“Open your eyes.”

Her eyelids flickered opened and she gasped. She had seen Jake aroused before but the heated intensity of his gaze was nothing compared to this. He was a man teetering on the edge.

He ground out between clenched teeth, “We do this together. Eyes wide open.”

She nodded.

Their gazes locked, Jake plunged again and then again, once more pistoning inside. Her * so aroused it was exquisitely painful, she looked deep into his eyes and when they exploded together, she gasped out the words she had been longing to say for so long, “I love you, Jake Mallory.”

And then the world disappeared.



Rolling to his side, Jake propped himself on his elbow and took in the panting, sweat- slick, slender body beside him. Dammit, he’d meant to be easy with her, wanting to show her how much she meant to him. Angela had been through hell and he’d just pounded into her with all the finesse of a horny gorilla.

“Are you all right?” she asked breathlessly.

He jerked at the question. “Hell, I’m the one who should be asking you that. I’m sorry I was so rough. I—”

Her fingers on his lips stopped him from finishing. “Oh no you don’t. If you apologize for the best, most sexually intense moment of my life, I’ll—”

Feeling only slightly better, Jake’s mouth curved slightly. “You’ll what?”

“I’ll cook for you.”

He barked out a laugh. “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

“You’ve never tasted my cooking.”

Gathering her close, he buried his face against her neck and breathed in the delicious fragrance that was Angela. “I am sorry I wasn’t more gentle. When you, uh, grabbed me, I kind of lost it.” He winced. Blaming her for his loss of control was particularly assholish. “Not that that’s an excuse.”

He felt her head shake. “Lose it with me any time you like. Okay?”

A giant breath huffed from his chest and he raised his head to face her, needing to say something before they went any further. “What you said…about loving me. Was that in the heat of the moment or did you—”

“I meant it. I’ve loved you forever.”

He cleared his throat. “I haven’t said those words to a woman since I lost Teresa.”

Instead of asking for them, she shook her head. “I don’t need them.”

Hell, he wanted to be able to say them but she deserved more than token words. He tried to explain, “I swore when I lost Teresa, I’d never let myself be vulnerable like that again. Loving someone means opening yourself. I closed down after she died. I don’t know that I can ever go that far again. But I do want a future with you…that is, if you’re not too pissed.”

“Jake, you don’t have to say them. And yes, I want a future with you, too.”

Relieved that she understood and wasn’t expecting more than he could give, he pulled her back into his arms and began to make love to her again, determined that this time, he would show her the gentleness he had intended before. As he kissed and caressed her, lingering tenderly over the areas where she had been cut or bruised, he shut down a voice inside his head. The one that mockingly told him it was too late to worry about falling in love. That the feeling was already there, whether he was ready to deal with it or not.