Chances Are

chapter Thirteen

Cocooned in a hard, warm embrace, Angela snuggled against Jake’s chest and allowed herself the fantasy of forgetfulness and peace. She had never expected to be here with him like this. What they had just experienced was something she wanted to hold on to for as long as possible.

She pressed a lazy kiss to his chest and sighed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this relaxed.”

“Me either.” He released a sigh. “It’s a little late to talk about it, but I didn’t use protection and I—”

“Not to worry. I’m covered.” She peeked up at him. “Healthy, too.”

He dropped a kiss on her nose. “Me too.”

“Good.”

His arms tightened around her and they lay in perfect quietness for several more seconds. And then Jake broke the silence and said, “Tell me about your family. Are you more like your father or your mother?”

Loving the rumble of his voice beneath her ear, she wiggled deeper into his arms. “One of mama’s favorite sayings was: ‘I swear, Angela, you’re just like your papa.’ “

“You weren’t like your mother?”

Angela laughed. “Oh yes, very much so. In fact, my father would always counter with, “No, Elena, she’s just like you.””

Grateful for the opportunity to share the memories of her loved ones with Jake, she continued, “My family was wonderfully unique but I guess a typical one, too. We had our disagreements. My father wanted my brother to study architecture but Max wanted to be a painter. He was an amazing artist. From the time he could walk, he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life. That didn’t prevent my parents, especially Papa, from trying to influence him. He never budged.” Her voice held a wealth of sadness as she added, “He was on his way to fulfilling his dreams.”

Dropping a comforting kiss to her head, he said, “And your sister, Chloe, what was she like?”

Her eyes closed to prevent the tears, she said, “Like a peaceful river.”

“What do you mean?”

Angela shrugged, unsure if she could do justice to her sweet little sister. “She just had a way about her that was calming. She possessed a maturity far beyond her age. My parents and brother had a tendency toward drama, often overreacting to even the most mundane events. Chloe was even-keeled and serene. She took things in stride and gave great advice.”

Humor in his voice, he said, “So it was just your brother and parents who were dramatic?”

Angela laughed. “Okay, me too.

“And Chloe gave great advice. She give you any?”

“Absolutely. In fact, Chloe was the only one in my family who knew I worked for LCR. I never told my parents or my brother because I knew how they would react. And Noah feared they could be targeted if any of his enemies knew, so I kept it to myself.”

“But not Chloe?”

“She didn’t know for a long time but one day we were talking about our dreams for the future. Chloe wanted to be a teacher, like Papa. She used to play schoolhouse with her friends…she was always the teacher. Anyway, she asked me what I wanted to do.”

“And you told her you wanted to be an LCR operative?”

Pain seared her heart and tears threatened again…that dream was dead. Chloe would be so disappointed in her. Unable to verbalize her answer, Angela nodded.

“And what was her reaction?”

“She was surprised but pleased, too. I think she saw me as some kind of superhero.” She snorted softly. “Little did she know.”

As if she hadn’t just touched on a painful subject, Jake said, “And your parents? What were they like?”

“Mama was sweet, wise, and self-sacrificing. Papa was temperamental, loving, and had a great sense of humor.

“To Mama, family was the most important thing. Despite the fact that she didn’t want to leave the States and come to Paris to live, she did it for my father and our family. I was only ten but I remember how sad she looked when we arrived, as if she’d lost her best friend. Papa tried to make it better for her, reassuring her that she would soon love France as much as she loved America. I don’t think she ever did but she adjusted eventually. And she did whatever she could to make sure her children never forgot that part of their heritage.”

“How’d she do that?”

“Family dinners were a big thing for the Delvecchio’s. You could miss breakfast and lunch but you never missed dinnertime. It was served promptly at six o’clock. If you were late, you had to pay a price.”

“Like what?”

“Hmm. Like naming the past presidents of the U.S. Sometimes you could get by with just naming the fifty states, reciting the Preamble to the Constitution or the Pledge of Allegiance. If you were really late, it was the Gettysburg Address or you’d have to sing the national anthem.” She giggled as she added, “We all suffered when that happened since not one of us could carry a tune.”

She remembered one particularly controversial mealtime. “Papa was an educator and was usually all for such discipline but one day he was fifteen minutes late and Mama made him pay dearly for it. He had to name the fifty states.”

“That doesn’t seem that hard.”

“It is when you have to name them in date order of when they became a state.”

“Hell, that is harsh.”

“Yes, he wasn’t too pleased but she had made his favorite meal, so he had incentive.”

Jake chuckled. “Your family was unique.”

“That they were. I miss them so much.” Encouraged by the intimacy they’d shared, as well as his questions about her family, she said, “What about yours? What’s your family like?”

His shoulders shifted in a slight shrug. “Didn’t have any brothers or sisters.”

“But your parents? They’re still alive?”

“Yes. Both my parents are attorneys. My father still practices and is on the board of directors of numerous businesses. My mother left her career when I was born but filled her spare time with various charities. They go to all the right parties and know all the right people.”

“You don’t get a along with them?”

“Actually, I love them a lot…we just don’t have much in common. They wanted a different kind of life for me than I wanted for myself.”

“Like what?”

“Ivy League schools, marrying well…having children who would carry on the family businesses and traditions.”

“And what did you want?”

“I didn’t know for a long time. I went to the schools they chose, dated the girls they approved of. Even got a degree in political science and was headed in the exact direction they wanted me to go.”

“Did something happen to change your path?”

“Yes and no. I was a semester away from getting my master’s degree and was set to start law school the next year. Then I met Harry.”

“Who’s Harry?”

“An Iraq war vet I met at one of my mother’s charity events. He was a highly decorated soldier and sat at the table with us. He’d lost one leg and part of his arm in an IED blast. I remember thinking if that had happened to me, I’d think my life was over. But Harry was only a few years older than me and had already done remarkable things with his life. He was married, had a couple of kids, and instead of feeling sorry for himself, was working to make things better for returning soldiers. I, on the other hand, had come to the dinner because my mother made me. I was pissed because a couple of my friends had gone snow skiing and I wanted to go, too. And, oh yeah, my Porsche had a door ding. Those were my big problems.”

“Sounds like Harry really made an impact on you.”

“He did, much to my parents’ and my fiancé’s dismay.”

Though she longed to ask about that fiancé, she wanted to hear more about Jake’s life-changing decisions.

“What did you do?”

“I enlisted.”

“Wow, that was gutsy.”

“Not really. What I told you earlier was true. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I only knew my life up to that point had been useless. I’d been breathing air and taking up space without any real contribution.”

“How did your parents take the news?”

“They weren’t happy but eventually accepted my decision.”

“And your fiancé?”

“Broke it off with me.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. When it was clear I wasn’t going to be providing her with the life she wanted, we both agreed it wasn’t going to work.”

“What a shallow woman she must have been.”

Jake remembered Sarah’s baby blue eyes swimming in tears as she pled with him to change his mind. She’d been a sweet girl who had expected a certain kind of life. He had no ill thoughts about her but he also knew his feelings for her hadn’t been the long-lasting ones either. Their marriage never would have worked.

“She wasn’t a bad person. She just wanted a different kind of life. But so did I.”

“She obviously didn’t love you.”

That much was true. Their broken engagement had been a mere blip on his life, with barely any influence. Within six months of their break-up, Sarah was married to one of her father’s junior law partners.

“How long were you in the Army?”

“Six years. I considered making a career of it but I came home on leave and—”

“And what?”

Jake shrugged. “I met someone and decided to do something else.”

“Teresa?”

Jake released a slow breath. They were getting into territory he didn’t want to go. He’d already shared more about his past than he ever had with any other person. Hell, even Teresa hadn’t known about his terror before he’d been sent to Afghanistan or about the talk he’d had with the Army chaplain. He’d never considered the events something he would want to discuss. With Angela it had felt right. But there were certain areas he could not and would not talk about. Soon the discussion would be halted. He regretted that because he knew the sweet intimacy they were sharing would also end. However, going further into his past would only cause massive regret. He lived with his mistakes daily. Having them as a topic of conversation was out of the question.

Hoping to cut it off, his answer was abrupt. “We got married and I became a cop.”

“What was your wife like?”

He closed his eyes and tried to picture Teresa’s heart-shaped face. An ache started in his chest when he realized he couldn’t. He could describe her but he couldn’t see her in his mind. “She was very pretty, had a good sense of humor but was kind of quiet and on the shy side. She was a neonatal nurse. Loved her job.” He shrugged. “We had some good times.”

“You loved her very much.”

“Yes.”

“And then she died.”

Jake loosened his arms but was unable to completely let her go. Being with Angela was a fantasy he never expected to come true. He’d certainly never planned to act on his desires but now that he had, dammed if he wanted to end it, especially on a sour note.

Hoping he could cut off this line of questioning without ruining things, he said, “That’s not a topic I want to talk about.”

She was silent for so long, he wondered if he had hurt her feelings. Should have known Angela wouldn’t back down.

“You feel responsible for her death.”

He dropped his arms from her and rolled away. “Let it go, Angela.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Jake went to his feet and pulled his pants on, refusing to answer. And, as usual, Angela persisted. “Her death was tragic but you’re not to blame.”

Whirling around, he glared down at the too beautiful, infinitely desirable, and extremely irritating woman on the bed. “What the hell do you know about it?”

Angela hurt for him. She wanted to call him back to bed and hold him until the pain went away. Even if she made the offer, from the look of fury on his face, he’d refuse the invitation. She debated evading his question or being vague about her knowledge. She couldn’t do that. Though she had only this night learned she was a coward in certain situations, she refused to back away from this confrontation. Not facing the truth never accomplished anything.

“I know everything, Jake. You were a cop, protecting a witness—Suzanna Long. She was due to testify against a very powerful man in Chicago. Unfortunately several people in the police department were on his payroll, including your captain. Your house was bombed and Teresa was critically injured. You were at the hospital with her as she fought for her life. While you were on leave, others took over the case. Your witness was shot and killed on her way to the courthouse. And your wife died three days later without regaining consciousness.”

He stared at her as if she were some kind of foreign being. She hastily explained, “It wasn’t out of curiosity. I’m LCR’s main researcher. I create the files on all LCR employees. That means I—”

“I know what it means. I just—” He shook his head. “Hell, you must think I’m the stupidest person alive. Here I was thinking I had some semblance of privacy and you know every damn thing about me.”

“Because of my job, Jake. For no other reason.”

“Well tell me this, Miss Information Gatherer. Do you also know that Teresa was two months pregnant with our first child? Did you know I beat the hell out of two of the men responsible, almost killing them?”

She felt sick. “No, I didn’t know that.”

His smile bitter, he shrugged into his shirt. “Sometimes the most salacious parts get missed by even the best and nosiest researchers.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Yeah, life’s like that.”

His long strides took him out of the room in seconds and then she heard the adjoining door to his apartment open and then slam shut.

Angela dropped her head back onto her pillow. Running after him to apologize would be useless. Silly of her to feel guilty for having done her job—though it was clear she’d missed a few pertinent details. No, she shouldn’t feel guilty for knowing as much as she did. What she did regret was not telling him sooner. Maybe that would have made all the difference and this night would have ended with them still wrapped in each other’s arms.

She glanced at the bedside clock, amazed it was only three in the morning. She felt as if she’d lived a lifetime in just a few short hours. First her humiliating and career-ending panic, then her trip to the emergency room, followed by the incredibly erotic shower with Jake and the even more deliciously erotic lovemaking. And now the blow-up that put an end to their short romance, possibly even their friendship.

Exhaustion crept over her and she closed her eyes. Sleep was impossible. She had destroyed her career as an LCR operative. Had she lost Jake, too?