chapter Two
Abby sat staring straight ahead for several long minutes, not even noticing the buzz of the busy signal coming from the phone at her ear.
“Look, Abigail—you know I hate arguing about this—” She heard the voice, but it sounded as if it were miles and miles away. It even sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t see through the fog. “Abigail—?”
“She’s dead.” It was the only phrase she was capable of forming.
“Who’s dead?”
“Hayley. Blake. Their baby.” She was in shock. She knew this. The pain was turning into numbness, and this was easier to manage. Eric took the phone from her hand and pressed the button, silencing the persistent beep. She was wading through the murkiness. “I have to go to Kentucky.”
“Hold on—”
“I’m her next of kin. I have to go—I have to make the arrangements—”
“Abigail, just slow down,” Because she was now on her feet, hurrying toward the stairs that led upstairs to their bedroom. “You need to breathe.”
“I have to—I have to go, Eric.” She climbed the stairs, shaking her head. “There’s so much I need to do. I have to call—the airport, I need to call the airport. And my dad—and work. Oh, god, Ingrid is going to lose it—I’ve got to pack—”
“You need to slow down.”
“There isn’t time for slowing down,” Abby was switching to autopilot. She worked best on autopilot in these situations. She veered left, hurrying into Eric’s office with him right behind.
She flipped through his rolodex until she found the number for the airport, quickly pushing the button, asking for the next flight to Nashville. Nashville was closer than Louisville—she’d made the flight a few times. It would be about an hour and a half drive to Allensville from the airport.
The soonest she could leave was a flight that left early in the morning—that gave her a few hours to get everything together and take care of everything that needed to be done in L.A. She booked the flight and hung up the phone, turning around to face her fiancé. “You only booked it for one.”
“Well there’s no need for you to go too.”
“Abigail, your best friend just died.”
“Exactly. She’s my best friend. It’s my responsibility—I’ll take care of it all.” She shrugged her shoulders, feeling nothing anymore and grateful for it. “Besides, you have that Jacobs case. You can’t miss out on that. What would the partners think?” She knew this was the best way to get him to stay behind. Appeal to his work ethic. It would be better off for both parties if Eric stayed behind.
“But they would understand, Abigail.” Even as he spoke, though, she could tell he didn’t really mean it.
“No—no, really, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” And just like that, he let it go.
“Should I do anything to help?” Perhaps if she had been in the right state, she would have been hurt by his quickness to settle. But feeling numb, as she did, she didn’t mind. It was what she wanted, after all.
“Drop me off at the airport? The flight leaves at six in the morning. I should get there a couple hours early.”
“What about sleep?”
“I’ll sleep on the flight.” She was making lists in her mind—things to pack, people to call, arrangements that would need to be made. Anything to distract her from the fact that not more than thirty minutes ago, she had just received the most earth-shattering information she’d ever received in her adult life. “I need to pack up a few things—and I should call my dad. He’d want to know.”
“Of course—whatever you need to do.” Abby nodded before gliding past him and into the bedroom, pulling her bags from the closet and riffling through the items that hung there. She began to pull things out at random at first, and then realized upon second thought that she wanted to put some thought into this. She owed it to her friend.
Abby busied herself for hours, keeping her mind distracted. There was quite a lot to be done she realized as she ran around tidying up, packing last minute items and finally taking a quick shower before she loaded up the car. Eric joined her moments later, sitting in the driver’s seat. Traffic was light and they made it there rather quickly.
“I’ll call when I get in,” she said, her hand on the door. Eric nodded.
“Be careful.”
“I will be.” She opened the door without so much as a second glance his way and hurried from the vehicle, needing to keep moving. She grabbed her bag from the trunk and waved over her shoulder before entering the large building.
She’d been navigating the airport since she was a little girl and so it was all familiar—menial tasks to take her mind off the reality of her situation. When she’d finally settled in at her gate, she sat down and stared at the cell phone in her hand, hesitating only a moment before surfing through her contacts until she came to Ingrid’s name.
“Ingrid, this is Abby. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m not going to be in for a few days—a friend of mine just passed away, and I’m going out of state in order to tend to the arrangements.”
As she hung up the phone, she felt another wave of shock pass through her.
It was happening. It was all really happening.
It just seemed so irrational—how could she be preparing to board a flight to plan Hayley’s funeral? How, when not even twenty-four hours before, she’d been so happy and alive?
How could she be dead?
The terminal began to sway and Abby inhaled sharply, trying to regain her bearings.
It would be okay. She knew it would. It had to be.
She imagined Hayley sitting at her side, scolding her for acting so lost. Abby was supposed to be the strong one—she was supposed to be the reasonable one. In times of crisis, it was Abby who took control.
But that had always been because she knew she had Hayley to lean on. Hayley who, despite her spontaneous and sometimes reckless behavior, was always there to support Abby—the picture of confidence and optimism.
She took another deep breath as tears threatened to well over. She needed to maintain control. This was no place to break down—it was no place to mourn.
She shifted her train of thought back to work then—so many things that had been left undone. Ingrid was going to be livid—she knew. But she didn’t care. She would be on her flight soon and she wouldn’t have to deal with the litany of phone calls that was sure to follow. She resolved to ignore the phone calls even once they did come—why shouldn’t she be allowed time to grieve? It was her right.
As another wave of emotion began to pass through her, she sighed and decided to distract herself by checking over everything she thought she should bring, making sure she had brought the numbers of everyone she was supposed to call. She ran through ideas of what she was supposed to say.
Abby had never had to break news of a funeral before. She’d never had to plan one. She’d never really even been to one—since she was a little girl, when her mother had died. At least not for someone she really cared about. The few she’d attended in her older years had simply been friends of her father’s, people she’d had little to no relation to.
Once again, she wondered how this could be happening.
It was like she was caught in a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from.
She still had a bit of time before her flight and she rose, tossing her carry-on bag over her shoulder and making her way through the airport. She found a book store and scanned the racks, unsure of what to get. She simply needed something to divert her attentions until she was on the plane—then she could sleep.
The selections were limited and she eventually found her way to the magazine rack. The latest issue of Rumor stared at her, the cover full of celebrity headlines. Rumor was one of the more tasteful gossip rags, but it was, nonetheless, a gossip rag. With a slight sigh, she reached forward and plucked one from the stand. She scanned the covers once more before deciding on a wedding magazine.
It wasn’t as if she really needed one. Most of the details had already been planned out, what with the wedding being only three months away. She remembered going virtual wedding-dress shopping with Hayley—she’d secretly taken pictures of herself in various dresses with her cell phone and had sent them to her friend. The dresses had all been very traditional—the sort that Eric was a fan of. She hadn’t wanted to walk down the aisle in something he wouldn’t be happy to see her in.
Hayley had, of course, had much to say about this. It wasn’t that Abby was completely against tradition—but she hated being so restricted. Hayley had insisted that if Eric was the man Abby was truly meant to be with, then she could walk down the aisle in a paper bag and it wouldn’t make a difference to him. In his eyes, she would still be the most beautiful woman in the room.
Abby made her purchase and returned to her gate, grateful to realize she only had a few minutes before they would begin boarding. She sat down and thumbed through the bridal magazine, sighing here and there. She had always dreamed of something a little more casual than what she and Eric had planned—something with friends and family, people who would be in her life forever.
The realization was sudden—as if she’d received a swift blow to the stomach.
That would never happen—not now.
Hayley and Blake—they had been the only people Abby had cared about coming to her wedding. Of course she wanted her dad to give her away—but Hayley and Blake—they were her family.
The pain was strong, sweeping through her as a wave might wash over her body.
She heard a voice over the intercom calling for early boarding on her flight. But she couldn’t move. She was paralyzed, caught in place, breathless.
You can do this, Abby, she thought to herself. Get up and get on that plane. Hayley needs you.
Slowly, her feet began to move. Within the next several minutes, Abby had situated herself on the plane, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes. She heard people filing by for at least the next half hour but she didn’t move. She listened for the familiar sounds of the flight beginning to take off.
Then, at last, there was the quiet hum of the engine—the voice of the pilot over the intercom. She sighed softly, trying to calm herself—trying to force herself into sleep.
Trying to force herself into a reality where this was only a nightmare.
~*~
She woke with a start just over two hours later. She was disoriented—unsure of where she was or what she was doing.
It only took a moment for it all to come back to her.
She sighed, staring at the magazines she had tucked in the seat in front of her. The thought of looking through them revolted her.
The seat beside her was empty and she was grateful. A pad of paper was tucked in the seat in front of the empty seat and she reached forward, removing it. She had a pen in her purse and she decided it was time to start writing things down—just notes, things she needed to take care of.
It was good to be able to concentrate on tasks rather than emotions. She needed to keep that level-head that Hayley had always bragged about on Abby’s behalf. She needed to keep her mind busy so that her heart wouldn’t tear itself apart. She needed to stay occupied—because otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to hold it together.
And that was not an option.
The rest of the flight went quickly as she prepared herself for everything that was to follow. She had decided to wait to call her dad until she knew more details—had decided to ignore her phone entirely until she had settled in.
The airport was a busy one—but nowhere near as busy as in L.A. She exited the plane and tried to ignore the familiarity that swept over her. She’d done this before. A few times. Those had been happy visits.
This was not going to be like that.
She had arranged for a rental car when she had reserved her ticket and she navigated through the airport until she found a shuttle. Everything was done on auto-pilot—the signing of papers, taking care of her luggage, the programming of the GPS system. Abby was sure she would remember the way, but just to be certain—she didn’t want to take any chances. She already felt as if she was running behind.
The south was one big, beautiful landscape. There were mountains and fields, woods and water. She had always been swept away by the beauty of the surroundings. It was easy to understand why Hayley and Blake had fallen in love with it so quickly. Neither had ever been much for the mundane—and they had definitely chosen the right place. All they had to do was drive a couple hours in any direction and instantly they would find a change.
She had always envisioned a life similar to this. California had never been her ideal home. She had often imagined a life elsewhere—maybe some place on the lake, some place where the weather changed. She too grew tired of the monotony—not nearly as much as Blake and Hayley, but enough that it made a difference.
Abby sighed, flipping on the radio and turning it up. She couldn’t keep thinking about them—not yet.
It didn’t take long for her to arrive in the small town, and as she neared, she called the Sheriff’s office once again. His secretary directed her to the small funeral home within town. Abby found it easily—Allensville really was a small town and it was easy to navigate.
Hayley and Blake had fallen in love with it’s charm. Never had either of them experienced the kind of life they could have here—both having grown up in large, urban environments as opposed to the beautiful rustic area they had moved to. Hayley and Abby had grown up in Beverly Hills, while Blake and Logan had grown up in Boston.
Early on, the four had often joked of moving out to the middle of nowhere—living in log cabins in the woods. All were tired of the fast-pace of the city—even Hayley and Abby.
The funeral home was a small, family run business. She could tell as soon as she pulled up. The building was actually a house, with a simply-stated sign out front. She took a deep breath as she turned the ignition off. This was it—she needed to hold it together now.
Abby emerged from the rental vehicle, her golden hair blowing in the breeze. A pair of sunglasses she had purchased from a gas station along the way adorned her face, but she still squinted from the brightness of the sun. She wore a pair of black dress pants and a plain white top—she had spent quite some time trying to decide what to wear before leaving L.A. A matching black jacket was draped over her arm—a simple precaution, in case the weather was chillier than she’d thought.
It took her several long moments to gather the nerve to continue forward. Finally, though, with a deep breath, she pushed her shoulders back and made her way across the yard, opening the front door and walking in.
She was greeted by a subtle smell of flowers and very quiet music. It was meant to be calming, but the instant she walked in, she was aware of how wrong all of this was. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be in this position.
“Hello, Miss,” she was a young girl, sitting at a desk to the right. Abby smiled uncertainly before stepping forward.
“Hi,” she paused. “My name is Abigail Lewis—I was told I should—”
“Of course,” the girl rose to her feet, quickly making her way around the desk. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Abby nodded, unsure of how to respond to such a comment. She’d heard it over and over again when her mother died, and she never knew how to respond. “Hayley and Blake were wondeful people.”
“They—” Her voice caught in her throat. “They were,” she finished, swallowing hard at the ball in her throat. “I’ve never really done this before—”
She was too young to have had to plan a funeral, wasn’t she?
“That’s fine, sweetheart. That’s what we’re here for.” The girl was very pleasant and obviously willing to lend a hand. “Most of the details have already been taken care of, but we’ll just need a few signatures—”
“Taken care of?” Abby questioned. “By who?”
“Well, of course we were waiting for your approval—”
“Who?” Abby questioned again, confused. Hayley had made clear that her family was no longer welcome in her life—Abby thought she had made that clear last night. They wanted nothing to do with her in life—why should that change in death?
“Well,” the girl looked over Abby’s shoulder and instinctively, she turned. “By Mr. Sheppard, of course.”
And as her eyes landed on the familiar shaggy haired figure, she felt her heart drop in her chest. “Hello, Abby.”
“Hello, Logan.” She whispered.