chapter One
Six years later.
Abigail Lewis walked into the building that housed the magazine she worked for, slightly distracted. It had been a hectic morning—from waking up a bit late to getting stuck in the usual L.A. traffic, nothing had gone right. And to top things off, she sighed with irritation, she’d just missed the elevator. She did her best not to groan aloud as she stepped forward and stabbed at the button.
To make things even worse, she knew there was a pile of articles sitting at her desk waiting to be checked over and edited. The beginnings of a headache already stirred and she rubbed at her temples, hoping to avoid it. Not for the first time, she wished she could be the type of person who enjoyed caffeine. She would really benefit from some sort of large caffeinated beverage right about now.
The elevator dinged in front of her and she tried not to tap her foot anxiously as waited for the doors to open, instead taking a moment to look around the lobby. A few Easter decorations still adorned the walls—flowers and pastel colored ribbons, nothing at all gaudy or distasteful in Abby’s eyes. But she’d already complained to the maintenance office about it, as her boss had ordered the Monday following the holiday
Ingrid was not going to be happy about this.
Abby sighed again. It was going to be a very long day, she could already tell.
The doors opened and she hurried inside, pushing the button and stepping backward, beginning to prepare herself for the day to follow. Abby was—for all practical purposes—the chief editor of the popular gossip magazine Rumor. It was true that she was technically more like an assistant to the actual chief editor, but in all realities, she did all of the work. It was Abby that everyone went to for final approval, her boss far too busy maintaining her image in the celebrity world to really run the magazine.
And with this week’s deadline quickly approaching, she knew she was going to be in for many long—and, really, uncredited, hours. Because for all the work she did, she barely received any recognition.
But wasn’t that the way of the magazine world?
With another heavy sigh, Abby stepped out of the elevator and began to make her way toward her desk. Though she’d been with the company for going on three years now, the last of which she’d been given much more responsibility, she still hadn’t received her own office. It was only the first of many complaints she had.
As soon as she settled at her desk, she was approached by several of the novice workers with questions regarding the layout of the magazine or specifics about certain articles. Abby handled each question calmly and without hesitation—taking charge as she’d learned to do. People were grateful for her—she knew. Working with her boss, Ingrid, was a difficult task. Even just thinking about their random weekly meetings filled her with dread.
She did not look forward to the hour long sessions, during which Abby would brief Ingrid on everything that was being planned and laid out. Ingrid would bark directions and criticisms left and right, though never once did she offer to actually do her own job.
It was, without a doubt, Abby’s least favorite part of the day.
When her co-workers had finally settled into their own assigned tasks, Abby took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before the day really began. Instinctively, she glanced up at the framed photo sitting on the edge of her desk. The smiling face of her best friend stared back at her, reminding her of a happier time. In the photo, Abby smiled brightly beside Hayley the night of the wedding.
A memory of the day that followed flashed across her mind—a familiar dull ache spreading through her chest—and the image of a tousle-haired man with beautiful gray eyes and a casual confidence that got her every time conjured briefly before her eyes. She tried to push it away, not wanting to think about him or any of the havoc he had wreaked.
But of course, this was the path her mind would take today.
It made sense. She might as well torture herself as much as possible.
And as if on cue, the phone on her desk began to ring, signaling that Ingrid was in her office and waiting. Abby actually did groan then, unable to avoid it any longer. She rose to her feet and crossed the short distance to her boss’s office, trying to compose herself before entering.
“You were late.” The woman scolded before Abby even had a chance to shut the door.
“There was an accident on—”
“We’ve had this discussion before, Abigail. Sluggishness will not be tolerated.” All Abby could manage was a nod, her agitation growing. She could count on one hand the number of times she had been late to work. Ingrid, on the other hand, was rarely seen around the office before noon—if at all. “And can you please tell me why there are Easter decorations still cluttering up the lobby when we are nearly at the end of April?” Abby groaned inwardly.
“I’ll put in another call.” She didn’t see what the bother was. In her eyes, the flowers weren’t specific to Easter—they were a celebration of spring in general. But to Ingrid, they were nothing but an eyesore.
“Now, do you have those prints I asked for?” Abby nodded, bringing herself back to the present, handing over the files containing what Ingrid was asking for.
“I faxed over—” Abby began.
“Jaymes isn’t going to work out.” Ingrid cut her off, not even bothering to look up from the pages she was scanning. Jaymes was one of the newer copy editors, fresh from college. “You’ll need to take care of that for me.”
“But Ingrid—” Abby stammered, stunned. Ingrid looked up then, as if daring her to say more. “This is only his second publication—”
“He should have learned from the first.” Ingrid was a beautiful woman. She had vibrant red hair and a carefully maintained pale complexion. Her eyes were a light brown—but sharp. Everything about her was harsh, but it lent to her a certain kind of glacial beauty. Many were intimidated by her, and perhaps Abby should have counted herself among them. But she didn’t.
Working for Rumor was not the direction Abby had intended her professional life to go in. It had been the only opportunity in the area when she finished graduate school and she had taken it, planning on going somewhere else eventually. But she’d stayed, biding her time. She didn’t know why—didn’t know why she put up with all that she did. With her credentials and experience, she could probably get a job anywhere by now.
But something kept her there. Something gave her the strength to forge on, waiting for a better opportunity to present itself.
It was a long meeting and by the time Abby left, her headache was in full-swing. She threw herself into her chair and pulled open a drawer on her desk, searching through it until she came to a bottle of aspirin. She had just finished swallowing them when the phone on her desk began to ring again.
She filled with dismay, assuming it was going to be Ingrid, demanding that Abby return to her office so that she could complain even more about something that Abby had prepared for her. It wouldn’t be the first time, and based on the way the day was going, it would be entirely fitting. “Rumor magazine—you’ve reached—” She answered, holding the phone to her ear. The person on the other end didn’t give her the chance to finish before speaking.
“Hi, I’m look for Abigail Lewis.” The voice was familiar.
“This is,” Abby responded, a smile forming at her lips.
“No, no. I’m not looking for Abigail the editor. I’m looking for Abigail the aunt.” Hayley’s voice immediately calmed her nerves, an effect her friend had always been able to have on her.
“Abigail the who?” Abby asked, the room quieting around her as she concentrated on Hayley’s voice, needing to make certain she’d heard her friend clearly.
“I said,” Hayley replied. “I’m looking for Abigail the aunt.”
“Are you saying—” Abby already felt her mood brightening, even at the prospect.
“I’m pregnant!” The woman squealed, and Abby couldn’t refrain from joining her—she didn’t care about causing a scene.
“Oh my god, Hayl!” She breathed, forgetting all about the headache and the tasks her boss had given her, and now concentrating solely on the voice on the other end of the phone. “You’re sure?”
“I just went to the doctor this morning.” Happiness flooded through Abby. Hayley had been trying to get pregnant for the last year—and finally, it had happened.
“Have you told Blake yet?”
“Not yet. But I’m totally surprising him with a baby-themed picnic for a late lunch.” Hayley sounded so excited—and the feeling was contagious. Abby could hardly contain herself. Hayley had wanted this for so long,
“Isn’t it cold?” Abby asked. Her friends had moved to Kentucky once Blake had finished medical school where he’d taken a job at a small private practice with a few people he’d gone to school back east with. Hayley laughed and Abby pictured her shaking her head, maybe even rolling her eyes. Abby was pretty much clueless about what the weather was like anywhere that wasn’t on a coast—and, from what she remembered, this time of year on the East coast was still a little on the chilly side.
“No—it’s actually pretty nice.” Abby had only been to visit a very few number of times since they’d moved and had yet to get used to the weather. Well, that was certainly going to change now that a baby was on the way. Abby could only imagine how adorable Hayley and Blake’s child was going to be. “Spring starts a little earlier here than it does back in Boston.”
“Good—you can’t go getting yourself sick, now that you’ve got a little bun in the oven.” Abby grinned happily as she leaned forward, resting her head on her hand. “He’s going to be so happy, Hayl.” Abby saw Blake’s smiling face in her mind.
“I certainly hope so, otherwise we’ve been trying all this time for nothing!” Hayley laughed and Abby smiled, imagining her friend’s smile. “I’m so excited, Abby.”
“I am too,” she reached out and touched the edge of the framed photo she’d looked at earlier, suddenly longing to be near her. “You guys are going to be such good parents.”
“And you’re going to be the best aunt the world’s ever seen.” Abby laughed, nodding her head though her friend couldn’t see her. “Hey—and if you can hold off the wedding for a couple more years, you’ll have yourself an adorable little flower girl.”
“Or ring bearer,” Abby corrected, smiling. The mention of her pending marriage brought her back to reality and she withdrew her fingers from the frame.
“Or you could just call the whole thing off and track down a certain soon-to-be-uncle—”
“Let’s not get into this again,” Abby said, shaking her head. Hayley had made clear for quite some time the way she felt about Abby’s wedding. Ever since Eric, Abby’s fiancé, had proposed, Hayley had been certain to remind Abby of the future she had nearly had. “That was a long time ago, Hayl. Let’s let it stay there.”
“You know just as well as I do that you’ve thought about it.”
“Of course I have. But that’s a situation full of what-if’s. Eric and I—that’s reality.” She sighed, subconsciously touching her fingers to her temples once more. “Just like you and Blake. And the little one on the way.”
“I’m sure you could make a new reality, Abigail Lewis.” When Abby said nothing, Hayley sighed, signaling that she was dropping the subject. Abby was happy that her friend was so distracted—otherwise, this could have turned into a much deeper conversation. “This is probably the happiest day of my life, Abbs. I can’t wait to tell Blake.”
“You’ll call me tonight to tell me how it goes?” Abby wished she could be there with her friend. This was such a big deal—such a big moment in her life. This was something she was supposed to be there for.
“You know I will—he’s going to be so excited.”
“Tell him I send my love and congratulations.” Abby knew the conversation was coming to an end and she was suddenly reminded of the day she had ahead of her. But it didn’t matter now—none of it did. She was going to be an aunt—Hayley and Blake were going to be parents. Nothing could dampen the happiness she was feeling.
“I will,” Hayley promised. “I’ll talk to you tonight!”
“Love you,” Abby told her.
“Love you too!” And with that, she heard a click on the other end. She held the phone in place for just a few moments longer, staring at the picture in front of her, letting the feeling settle.
An image of an alternate future conjured in her mind for a moment—a future in which Logan had stayed, and the two of them had married and had started a life together, exactly as she had planned. She saw herself with a little boy on her hip, with dark messy hair that matched his father’s. The smile on her face was one she hadn’t had since the day the photo sitting on her desk had been taken—one of real, true happiness.
But a moment later, the image dissolved and all that remained in her sight was the photo of she and her best friend, standing on a beach with the sun beginning to set behind them.
Abby’s wedding day was going to be very different from the one that Hayley had, even though she had always imagined hers as much the same. She and Hayley had always envisioned themselves having a double wedding, on the beach somewhere, with all of their loved ones gathered around. Hayley had gotten pretty much exactly what she had wanted, but Abby’s was going to be far from it.
She glanced down at the ring on her finger. The diamond was large, catching the light and glimmering in all directions. It was attached to a thin gold band—not at all what she’d asked for. She knew it cost a fortune, far more elaborate than anything she’d ever wanted. But her fiancé was more of a traditionalist. He had insisted on it, asserting that his bride-to-be would have only the best.
It had only been the start. He’d insisted on a traditional church ceremony, though neither was exactly the religious sort, with an elegant reception afterward. Everyone was to be invited—everyone within their social circle, even if they weren’t more than acquaintances. It was the way things were done.
Eric Thompson came from the same background as both Hayley and Abigail. He was someone Abby had met during graduate school—an attractive man, with his future laid out in front of him. He knew where he was going—he had it all planned out.
His goal was to some day become a partner at a well-to-do law firm, and he was well on his way. As soon as he’d finished law school, he was swept up by one of the biggest firms in L.A, mostly due to his family connections. They had been together for just over four years.
He absolutely loathed the fact that Abby worked for a gossip magazine and had been insisting since she’d started that she quit. Perhaps that was part of the reason she’d hung on so long. It was one of the few ways she could prove to herself that she still had a say in her own life.
Because there were times when she just wasn’t sure. Sometimes, it felt like all she did was take orders—all she did was whatever everyone else wanted her to.
She longed for the days when she felt free.
Her eyes skimmed over the photo in the frame once more.
But those days were long gone.
~*~
Abby was one of the last people to leave, as usual. She said her goodbyes to the cleaning crew, trying not to laugh as they purposely left messes for Ingrid to find. She was abhorred even among the staff provided by the building owners.
It was late—the sun was already going down. She walked to her car, trying to ignore the slight chill in the air. At least by now, traffic would have calmed down and she should have a fairly clear drive home.
Eric would probably just be arriving himself.
She decided she would stop and grab some take-out, so as to make things easy on the both of them. As she made the drive back, she checked her cell phone, remembering that Hayley had promised to call. She frowned slightly when she saw that she had no missed calls, wondering what could have taken her so long. She was sure the two had gone out to celebrate, but it was getting pretty late in Kentucky. She’d assumed Hayley would have called by now.
As she got closer to her neighborhood, she stopped at a small Chinese restaurant and placed her order. It didn’t take long to prepare, but while she waited, her mind wandered once again to her friend.
The two had remained close throughout the years, despite living in different states. They talked nearly every day. After Hayley had married Blake, her parents had, as expected, cut her off and out of their lives. She no longer existed to them, even though the pair had done well for themselves.
Hayley had become a teacher while Blake finished med school. He came out of school relatively debt free, and the two had quickly been able to settle into their life. It was nothing like the life Hayley had led before marrying him, but it was comfortable. And they were happy, which really was all that mattered.
Hayley had often brought Logan up in the years that had passed since she’d last seen him. Abby knew that he was doing well, which made her happy. She’d never wanted anything bad to happen to him—she loved him too much for that. She’d only wished that things had turned out differently for them.
It wasn’t something she allowed herself to consider often though, because more often than not, it only led her down a path she couldn’t afford.
No, she had a life now. A life without Logan Sheppard. And she was better off. If he hadn’t said it himself, he’d certainly made it clear. She’d woken up the morning after Hayley’s wedding expecting to find Logan—but instead, all she’d found was a note.
It was still painful to think about, and so she pushed it away, concentrating on the now short drive home. She and Eric lived in a luxurious apartment in Beverly Hills, not all that far from where she grew up. It was definitely a nice neighborhood, but she hardly noticed as she drove along. As she pulled up, she noticed Eric wasn’t yet home and she sighed, turning off the ignition and making her way inside.
Abby set about to eating her Chinese, kicking her shoes off at the door and spreading the items out on the kitchen counter. She thought about going to change into something a little more comfortable than her business suit, but as her stomach grumbled, she decided against it and settled in to eat a few bites.
She’d just gotten the idea to check the voicemail to see if maybe Hayley had called their apartment rather than her cell phone by accident when she heard the door open. “Abigail?” he called.
“In the kitchen—I brought home Chinese.” Eric entered the kitchen a moment later, dressed impeccably in a perfectly tailored suit. He offered a smile as he passed by her, grabbing up his carton of Chinese and diving in. “How was work?” She asked, deciding to hold off on checking the voicemail for a moment.
“This Jacobs case is killing me.” He said in between bites. “Today’s deposition didn’t even finish—we’ve got to call the guy back in tomorrow.”
“Sounds rough,” Abby said, leaning back against the table as she continued to eat.
“But the partners are really taking notice of my work—so we’ll see what comes of it.” Abby nodded, waiting for him to question her about her day. After a few minutes had passed, he still hadn’t said anything more. She sighed.
“I talked to Hayley today.”
“Don’t you talk to Hayley every day?” Eric was not Hayley’s biggest fan, if only because the rest of their circle thought poorly of her.
“Today was a special day.” She said, remembering the flood of happiness she’d felt when she received the news. “She’s pregnant.”
“Well, congratulations to Hayley.” The two of them had spoken about children many times throughout their relationship. It was something Eric wanted to put off for a few years, while Abby was ready to start a family right away.
“She was really happy, Eric.” Eric sighed, setting his carton on the counter and wiping at his mouth with a napkin.
“I’ve never said I don’t want to have children, Abigail.”
“Sometimes it seems that way.” No matter how many times Eric told her that he wanted to have a family, she found it impossible to believe him. He was always so focused on his career—sometimes she wasn’t even sure he wanted her.
“I just don’t think having them right away is a wise choice.” He relaxed against the counter. “Even Hayley and Blake waited.”
“They waited until they were financially stable. We don’t have that to worry about.” With both of them working steady jobs, she had a point. She could even stop working and they would still be able to live a very comfortable life.
“I want to concentrate on my career. I have goals, Abigail. You would understand that if you were actually working at a respectable company.” Abby sighed then, rolling her eyes and pushing herself off the table. She walked passed him and threw her carton into the garbage, no longer hungry, before turning to the sink and washing her hands.
“Ever stop to think that maybe my goals don’t include my profession?” She snapped before turning her back and exiting the kitchen. He always had a way of doing this—of making her feel badly about her hopes and dreams for the future, whether because she prioritized family above her career, or because her career was nothing more than a joke to him. Her future was never quite as bright as his.
Abby’s mind turned to her earlier thought of checking their voicemail and she settled into the plush couch cushions before reaching over and grabbing the phone from it’s cradle. She dialed the number to enter their answering service and skipped over a few messages. She was about to skip over the last when she heard a name she recognized.
“Hello, this is Sheriff Winslow of Scotts County in Kentucky. I’m calling in an attempt to reach a Miss Abigail Lewis. Please call as soon as you receive this message.” She scribbled down the number he gave before quickly hanging up the phone, her heart beginning to hammer loudly in her chest.
Blake and Hayley lived in Scotts County.
Why would the Sheriff be calling her?
A range of possibilities raced through her mind—she was, after all, listed as Hayley’s next of kin outside of Blake. She wondered what kind of trouble they’d gotten themselves into—they’d probably broken some silly law and had been taken into custody and needed bailing out or something.
She imagined that conversation with Eric and almost smiled, knowing what a kick Hayley would get out of it.
But as she dialed the number, something told her it was nothing quite so simple as that. A woman answered the phone and Abby introduced herself. “Hi, this is Abby Lewis—I got a call from the Sheriff—”
“Oh, just one moment, I’ll patch you right through.” A moment later, the phone was ringing again and she waited for several moments before someone answered. It was the same voice she’d heard in the message—the voice of an older man, with that slight southern accent. She introduced herself again. “Miss Lewis, I just have a few questions. What is your relation to Hayley Walker?”
“Well—I—she’s my best friend; we’ve known each other practically since birth.”
“She has no other family that we could contact?”
“No, I’m the closest thing she has—what is this about?” Her heart was beginning to thud so loudly in her chest, she almost couldn’t hear the man on the other end of the phone. “Is she in some sort of trouble?”
“I hate to have to do this over the phone, Miss Lewis.” She didn’t even have a moment to prepare herself for what was to follow, her mind racing as she tried to figure it out before he could say. “I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”
“An accident?” They were fine—she knew it—they were fine—
“Yes. I’m so sorry, Miss Lewis—but there were no survivors.”
She felt her lungs empty of oxygen, felt the room sway, felt her heart stop.
“We’ve already made positive identifications, but we thought we should wait until the next of kin was reached before we did anything more.”
“Hayley’s…gone?” She could barely form the words.
“I’m afraid so, Miss.”
“And Blake?”
“There were no survivors.” He repeated and her body suddenly filled with an undeniable ache, unrelenting and powerful.
“I’ll be on the next flight out.”
“I’ll make the necessary arrangements.” He paused. “I really am very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you,” she said, though she was truly unaware anymore of what he was saying. Images of she and Hayley from their entire lives were flashing before her eyes—prancing around in two-piece bathing suits when they were eight, mooning over boys when they were fourteen, shopping for prom dresses, the many nights they met Blake and Logan at the bar, the night of Hayley’s wedding, the last time she’d seen her—waving goodbye at the airport.
She was overwhelmed by the sudden emptiness that ripped through her.
Hayley was gone.
She was dead.