Finally she pinpointed the moment they’d looked in one another’s eyes as the real source of her turmoil, but in the next breath dismissed that thought as fanciful.
What she couldn’t dismiss was the way her fingers still tingled from the contact with him—or the memory of how firm his chest was under the soft fabric of his dress shirt. She wanted to rip the shirt off him, wanted to feel those muscles against her own naked body.
James walked away, and Beth brought herself under control, taking measured breaths. What she knew about him didn’t provide a clue as to how severe an infraction he would consider her behavior. Madame Cat would have reacted with immediate disappointment and correction. Remembering the items on the C list, Beth knew she was more than likely due for a caning, which she was not looking forward to.
Resignation made it easy to force out the last of those unidentified emotions Master James had raised in her.
The lights dimmed slightly, and there were more footsteps before Master James called out to her.
“Beth, come here.”
Dropping to her knees she crawled towards his voice, keeping her gaze a discreet three feet in front of her. As soon as she saw his shiny black shoes she stopped, waiting for additional direction.
“Come all the way.”
Beth continued until her head was only a foot from his knee—Master James was seated on a padded bench, his back against the wall. The muted light in the room gave it an almost cozy, twilight feeling.
“Stand up, please.”
He said “please” the way all Doms did. It did not lessen the command, did not turn it into a request—merely added a note of formality.
Beth rolled gracefully to her feet, though she was still sore from the time in the cage. Her neck felt light and naked without the collar.
Once she was standing, Master James reached out and tugged her onto his knee. Beth froze.
Master James’s warm hand settled on her back, the pressure firm but not intimidating.
“I understand you prefer a more formal style of D/s play. I merely want to talk, and this is normally how I talk to my subs, but if this position is uncomfortable, you can kneel.”
Beth’s mouth was so dry she couldn’t speak. She was seated on Master James’s right knee, her body angled slightly away from him by the position of her lower legs. He wanted to talk, not cane her. After a moment of silence, Master James nodded then started to push her off his lap and onto the floor.
Beth braced her feet against the floor and resisted, stuttering out an awkward, “N-no.”
Master James stopped pushing, his hands resting on her back and thigh. “No?”
“No, Master James.” What was wrong with her? Forgetting to use a proper title was the mark of a novice.
“I mean what are you saying ‘no’ to?”
“Oh. I meant no, I would not rather kneel.” Beth frowned, her words not fully expressing what she wanted to say.
Master James seemed to sense that, because he said, “Beth, for the remainder of this conversation I want you to speak freely, as long as you tell me the truth.”
“Yes, Master James.”
“Let’s start over.” He tugged her towards him, then slipped her legs over his left knee so she was entirely on his lap. Beth put her hands on her legs, then dropped them to her sides, but that caused her to brush her fingers against his crotch. She jerked her hands up, folding them under her breasts, but that was a closed, defensive posture—inappropriate for a submissive.
Feeling frantic, she unfolded her arms, running out of ideas, when James caught her hands in his, forcing them against her legs.
“Beth, it’s clear you’re uncomfortable sitting on my lap. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I don’t know the position.”
“What position?”
“The appropriate position for lap sitting.”
“There’s isn’t one.”
Beth frowned. She knew that wasn’t right. “There’s a rule for every situation, an appropriate pose, response, or action for every possibility.”
“That is…the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Beth jerked her head around to face Master James’s bemused face.
“That’s—but that’s… BDSM is all about rules.” Beth was practically stuttering.
“No, BDSM is about power, control, and kinky sex. The rules are part of the game, not the foundation of it.”
Beth shook her head, so caught up in what he’d just said that she didn’t consider how disrespectful it was. “Training and knowing the rules are what make a good submissive.”
“The desire to submit and willingness to give up control make a good submissive.”
“No. I don’t like that.” The words were out before she could stop them. Saying what she thought, and telling the truth, were her greatest weaknesses when it came to dealing with other people, and her greatest strengths when it came to her career.
“Why not?” Master James didn’t seem angered by her response, which was unexpected, despite the fact that he’d invited her to speak freely. Usually “speak freely” was code for “I want to trap you so I can punish you.”