chapter Thirty-six
GOD, BRAD HAD never looked so cute, so sexy, so f*cking gorgeous than that moment when I opened my eyes and saw him moving in for the kill. I thought, Take me. Yes, take me.
He was over me on all fours, straddling me, having dragged me back up to the middle of the bed. I wound my fingers through his hair. I didn’t want to be crude or demanding, although inside I was brimming with demands. Suddenly, the night was young. The best, the sweetest request I could make was to tell him, “I want to feel you inside me, Brad.” He was already on it, though, reaching for the wallet in his pocket, hanging on the chain draping off his jeans.
He leaned over to kiss me, and my free hand was sliding over his chest, appreciating the feel of the hard muscle under the smooth skin against my fingers.
He threw his wallet on the bed next to me and broke away from my kiss. “Just a sec.” I looked to see him peering into and feeling in his wallet. “You f*cking kidding me?”
I felt the expression on my face change. I knew what he was referring to without even asking, but somehow I had to hear the words for it to become a reality. “What?”
He looked pained. “I don’t suppose you have any condoms, do you?”
Shit. When I’d been with Ethan, I’d trained myself to carry them so Ethan’s concealed weapon couldn’t harm me, but Jet had always been prepared, so I had gotten out of the habit. I winced. “No.” I took in a deep breath as he continued to look in his wallet, hoping against hope he’d miscalculated and surely there was one more there…right?
Well, that shouldn’t stop us. No, I didn’t want him coming inside me, but I saw no reason for a lack of condom to interrupt us. “I could—”
He shook his head. He was fighting it. His jaw was clenched. “No.” I saw him swallow. “I can go buy some. I wonder if there are any here in the public restrooms in the hotel.”
I was still breathless from my orgasm. “I bet the gift shop would have some.”
“They’re long since closed, Val. Gotta be.”
He was pretty calm for a guy on the edge. I’d give him that. “Well, uh…a convenience store, maybe? There’s gotta be one nearby. I saw a Walmart too. They’d have one for sure.”
“Yeah. Okay. You don’t mind waiting?”
I almost laughed. I’d just had a crazy orgasm, and he was asking me if I’d mind waiting? “I’m coming with you.”
I saw a smile touch the corners of his eyes. “You will?”
“Yeah…only fair, right?” I kissed him. That probably wasn’t the best idea, but I couldn’t help myself. His eyes…they were wild. “You sure you can drive?”
He nodded, but I didn’t know that he was too sure. He sat up, and I jumped off the bed. I pulled my t-shirt up off the floor and slid it over my head and then dashed to the bathroom where I knew my jeans were and slid them up over my hips. F*ck the underwear—no bra, no panties. We were in a hurry. I glanced at myself in the mirror. My hair was a little mussed but damn did I look satisfied. And I knew it was probably just the beginning.
Back in the other room, I searched in my luggage and found the one pair of sandals I’d brought with me. Every other shoe I had was mostly for the stage or too-hot-for-July metal stuff—boots, mostly—too much for a sultry summer evening.
By the time I had the shoes on, he was ready to go, save adjusting himself in his jeans. “You gonna be okay?”
He chuckled, and it seemed such an easy laugh, in spite of what I knew he must be feeling. “Thanks for being a good sport, Val.”
I’d grabbed my room card and stuffed it in my back pocket, then grabbed his hand to lead him to the door. “I’m the good sport? Do you not know what you just did to me?”
He turned me around so that my back was against the door. He was pressing up against me, and I could feel him. Yeah, he was still hard, straining against me, his jeans. His voice was low when he said, “I’m gonna do it again.”
Oh, my f*cking God, we couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
* * *
It turned out the Walmart was close enough, and we knew they’d have what we needed. I’d kept my hands to myself on the ride there, even though I’d really felt like getting handsy and keeping him hot. But I knew he wouldn’t want to try walking through the store with a hard on. And it was almost impossible not to start giggling when we went through the express lane with just a box of condoms and nothing else. The clerk was an older lady who’d no doubt seen the same thing dozens of times. Two years ago, I would have been mortified, but now? I was having so much fun, and I was so excited and hornier than hell that I didn’t give a shit what she or anyone else thought.
I did start laughing once we were in the parking lot. Brad unlocked the van and started to open the passenger door for me, but I touched his hand. I couldn’t stop the sly grin on my face. “Let’s get in the back.” The van was in a shadier part of the parking lot, and it would be taking a chance at being caught. But I didn’t care. I wanted to take care of this gorgeous man.
He raised his eyebrows. “Seriously?”
I just nodded, a sly grin on my face. He shook his head but slid the door open and then gestured for me to hop on in. I got in the backseat. I probably hadn’t been in the very back since the time he and I had gotten hot and heavy back there, because Brad usually insisted I ride shotgun. During this tour, Zane had been driving a little, so I’d sat in the middle, but the back was full of nothing but fond memories for me.
Brad got in after me and slid the door closed. I said, “This feels kinda familiar, doesn’t it?”
He smiled. “It does.” He sat down next to me, and I swung my leg over and straddled him, much like I had years ago.
“You’re not wasting any time.”
“Nope.” I whispered in his ear. “Time to take care of you.” I felt his response bulging against me.
I brought my lips back to his and nibbled on his lower lip until his tongue snaked out, and he closed his eyes. I knew this soft, slow business wouldn’t last long, but I knew Brad was a great kisser, sensual, sweet, and I wanted to savor him for a little bit. And like I’d remembered from before, his kisses felt like more than just kisses, like he was trying to discover something about us, about me. I slid my hands up under his shirt to feel his skin, feel his hard musculature. Then I moved my lips to his ear and whispered, “You ready?”
I could barely hear him say, “Whenever you are.” I sucked on his earlobe and then nibbled at his neck as my fingers groped for the button on his jeans. God…I could feel the power of his cock pressing up against me, and it was like a monster was in there, needing to be unleashed. I felt myself get wet all over again, but this wasn’t for me. No, this was for him, and I wanted to make him feel incredible.
He was wearing button fly jeans. I don’t know why I thought that was so goddamned exciting, but it was, and I was going to enjoy the hell out of unfastening each button. “Oh, what have we here?” I said, a teasing lilt in my voice. “I think there’s something down there that desperately wants out.” I undid the next button. “Maybe I can help.”
He was smiling, and I sucked on his lower lip. I felt a sigh ease out of his mouth. Another button. “I think I need to let him out.” I planted a deep kiss on him, finishing off the buttons and working my hand inside, slipping it underneath his underwear. Ahhh…there the big boy was. I wrapped my hand around him in that tight space and smiled, appreciating his girth.
His hands had been rubbing my back, but he lost his concentration once I grabbed hold. He’d been in a heightened state for well over half an hour, waiting for this moment, and here I was, teasing the poor guy. I kissed him again and then let go, reaching for the button on my jeans. I sat up and realized that even if I pulled them down to my knees, I wouldn’t be able to straddle him properly. “Shit.”
“What?”
“I’m gonna have to take these all the way off.”
“I’m not complaining.”
I smiled. “I didn’t figure you would.” As I peeled the jeans off, I saw him reach for the Walmart bag and pull out the box of rubbers. By the time I was ready to straddle him again, he was rolling one over his cock. It was dark, but I could tell he was plenty big—big enough for me.
So I got back on his lap. “Scootch forward a little.” He slid forward just enough that I was able to tilt and take him inside me. “Ah…” I slid my hands into his hair and kissed him again. And the fact that he wasn’t able to concentrate much told me he was close. Well, no wonder. He’d been on edge for quite some time.
He grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt. “Mind if I pull this off?”
I didn’t answer, instead just lifting my hands up over my head. I wasn’t an exhibitionist, but there was something about having it all out there in the back of that stupid van. And before the shirt was completely off one of my wrists, he’d pulled my nipple into his mouth.
I’d thought this was all for him, but I was hot again, and I couldn’t be denied. I thought back to the time Ethan and I were f*cking in the hallway of our old apartment, how Ethan had begged me to touch myself. That had been a pretty fantastic orgasm, and by how quickly Brad was going tonight (and I didn’t blame him), there was no way I’d be able to catch up, even rotating my hips the way I was. So I unwound the fingers of my right hand and lay my hand flat against my tummy. Then I slid it down, my fingers in the lead. And I found my * and started moving index and middle finger in a circle against it. Yeah, maybe I could catch up.
I looked down at Brad’s face. F*ck, he was hot, and he was looking at me with his smoldering eyes. He said, “Let me help,” and stuck his thumb in my mouth. It was instinctive. I just started sucking on it, pretending it was his cock. God, the look on his face. He pulled his thumb out of my mouth and then—gently, of course—moved my fingers, and that digit of his hit my sweet spot and took me home a lot faster than my own fingers would have.
“Oh…” I was close, and I sucked another breath down. I felt pained as I started to pant, continuing to drive my hips, slamming down into him. But his thumb didn’t leave my *, kept the pressure up. I couldn’t believe I’d caught up with him. “Oh, God, Brad…” And my second orgasm of the evening crashed down around me, making nothing in the world exist…nothing but Brad and my body, which was now on fire. And that’s when I felt his other hand on the small of my back, offering support and love, while his thumb kept me feeling pleasure. I’m not sure when he came, only that he did sometime during that crazy climax of my own.
* * *
We’d stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for a while before I’d finally pried myself off him to get dressed. I hadn’t noticed until after, but I was sticky and sweaty, and so was he. The summer heat of Texas had made us both pools of perspiration, and I for one couldn’t wait to get back to the motel to shower.
We took our time getting back upstairs, though. He kissed me outside, right after we got out of the van; he pushed me up against the wall of the elevator and gave me some totally hot kisses as we made it to our floor; and he held me around the waist the rest of the time. When we stepped off the elevator, I asked, “You’re coming to my room, aren’t you?”
I could tell by the look on his face that he hadn’t expected the invitation, but he wasn’t going to turn me down. “Sure.” We walked past the suites and could hear party noises drifting out. I prayed no one would bust out of those doors while Brad and I snuck past. I didn’t really care if anyone knew, but I also had known Ethan long enough to understand that he could be a huge pain in the ass. Tomorrow, I could deal with him, but I felt like tonight belonged to Brad and me, and I would be pissed if Ethan or anyone else ruined it.
I quickly slid my card in the slot and turned the knob to push the door open when the little light turned green. Brad was right behind me, and I started giggling when I saw he was carrying the Walmart bag. “What?” He grinned. “I couldn’t leave that in the van for the guys to see.”
“It’s not like they’ve never seen a condom before.” He laughed and I threw the door card on the dresser.
“Yeah, but you know they’d ask where it came from. Would you be able to keep a straight face?”
I shrugged and smiled again. “I want to shower. I feel all sticky and gross.”
“Can I join you? No hanky panky if you don’t wanna. I just feel pretty sweaty myself.”
I’d never actually seen Brad, not in the light, not fully naked, so hell, yeah, I wasn’t gonna turn the boy down. I nodded and went in the bathroom and turned the water on. I didn’t want a hot shower, so I got the water lukewarm and started stripping. Brad came in a few seconds later, shoes off. I debated if I wanted to stand there and watch or get in the shower and get my business done. I was already naked and ready to go. I knew I often felt self-conscious being admired, so I just grinned and said, “Meet ya in there!” I was tired and didn’t plan for anything else anyway.
By the time he joined me, I was soaped down and rinsing off. He still acted hesitant and a little shy. I grabbed his hand and playfully slapped the bar of soap in it. We were both feeling a little awkward, I think. We’d been friends for a long time, had kept our distance, even though we’d always had that intense undercurrent of lust in our bellies, and now that we’d done that, I think we were both wondering, Now what?
Okay, so I looked. I couldn’t help it. And Brad had nothing to be ashamed of. He wasn’t an overgrown beast like Clayton had been, but he was plenty big, and he knew how to use it. I’d seen almost everything else on the boy, so that was all I wanted to see in the light. Or not. “Turn around.”
He gave me a quizzical look. “What for?”
“I’ll wash your back.” Yeah, sure, that’s what I wanted to do. But he didn’t question me and handed me the soap. No, I wanted to see his ass. That truly was the last thing to see. And I wasn’t much into butts but his was cute. I did wash his back, and I appreciated the feel of his skin against mine. He was all sinew, not an ounce of fat on that boy. After rubbing the soap all over his back, I slapped his ass. “All done.” He turned around. He was half-smiling but still had that weird look on his face. “You okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
Hmm. “You’re probably as tired as I am.” I handed the soap back to him. “Trade places? I’m gonna get out.” He just seemed to need a little time to himself. I could give him that. He smiled and turned so I could get past him.
I stood, dripping on the bathmat while I reached for the towel I’d used earlier that evening. I’d felt awkward the first few moments after my first sexual encounters with both Ethan and Clay, but this was one was turning out to take the cake. That sucked, because the sex had been incredible…some of the best I’d ever had. But maybe if he had some time, it would be okay.
My comb was on the counter, and I ran it through my partially damp hair. Then I went in the other room. I was still warm, but the shower had done wonders. I could feel the air conditioning on, so I walked over to the queen-size bed and crawled under the covers. I heard Brad shut off the shower, and I wondered if he was regretting coming back to my room with me.
I just closed my eyes to rest my head. It would serve another purpose as well, though. If Brad was starting to feel as weird as I was imagining, he might appreciate the opportunity to duck out…or at least avoid conversation. But when he crawled into bed with me, he didn’t shut off the lights, and I couldn’t help but open my eyes. He rubbed my arm that was resting on top of the covers. I smiled at him. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
So what was bothering him? He was still turning something over in his head. Brad did that sometimes. He’d stay quiet until the right words came, and I knew that’s what was happening. He was trying to find a way to say what he needed to. I couldn’t stand the silence, the awkwardness anymore. “Is something wrong?”
He stopped rubbing my arm and smiled. “No.” He looked in my eyes, and it still took him some time. “You…are so…special, Val.” I blinked. He had more to say. “I just…never expected this, I guess.”
I couldn’t stop my hand from stroking his cheek. Little hairs were starting to poke out of his normally smooth, shaved skin. “Do you regret it?”
His eyes softened. “Oh. No. F*ck, no. I just…didn’t expect it.”
And then I understood. Tonight hadn’t just been about getting his rocks off. It had been emotional for him. Wow. Deeply emotional. I was at a loss for words myself. I couldn’t think of what to say. I hadn’t regretted it either. It was weird now but…
He leaned over and touched his lips to mine.
And what the hell was that emotion burgeoning in my chest? It was so intense all of a sudden that I felt my eyes well with tears. I let it manifest itself physically as I wound my fingers into his hair and pressed myself into him. I felt as though someone else was possessing me, driving me, and I was letting it happen. I knew, though, that I was trying to overcome that heavy, raw emotion that I didn’t want to name or even think about, and I was trying to override it with sexual desire.
He wasn’t pushing me away, but his kisses were sweeter, more tender, less demanding than mine. Maybe I was being too aggressive for him, because he moved his lips to my shoulder where he kissed me, open-mouthed, and moved to my neck. Okay…so I could move slowly, but that goddamned emotion. What the hell was that? It was moving from my diaphragm and into my heart, piercing deep, and I don’t know that I’d ever felt that way about anyone.
It couldn’t be real. It had to be how tired I was. It had to be a response to how angry I was at Ethan. It had to be the heat. There were so many things it had to be, because it couldn’t be that one thing it was pretending to be. No. It couldn’t be that.
I just wondered why it felt that way and why it was wrenching my internal organs and refusing to let go.
But his kisses were pulling me away from the emotions, setting my skin on fire for him again. I could still sense that…deep feeling—it was there, but I was able to push it to the back of my mind as our lips met, crashed, melded, as our bodies united as one. I couldn’t feel the air from the AC; I could only feel the inferno between us, the one that had always been there, burning, smoldering, consuming. And as he entered me again, driving, a sweet sensation unlike one I’d never known, I felt myself give everything over to him, all that I was. His hands laced through mine as he slid into me, again and again, making me breathless, until I cried out. There was a song in my head that played, one that would never be written, one I’d never sing, but one that my soul was singing for him, crying for him, one that would never not need him.
I drifted off to sleep in his arms after, forcing myself to ignore all those emotions threatening to consume me, drive me mad, and so I wondered if it was a dream or if I really heard him whisper that he loved me as sleep overtook me.