Breathe for Me

chapter Twelve





Xander lifted his hand to knock on Chelsea’s door. Work had been a washout today, he’d hardly thought of anything other than her since the bath incident the night before. She hadn’t offered any explanation, but he needed to know. Okay, he already knew but he wished he didn’t. Because he wanted, needed, her to tell him. That mightn’t be part of their agreement, but too bad.

She was like the ultimate Groundhog Day present—getting to open her up night after night was a pleasure he anticipated from the moment he left her. Only now, heaven help him, he wanted to open up all her secret compartments. He wanted to see her sleep easy. Smile easy. Speak easy.

He knocked. She answered almost immediately. Her wary eyes widened when she saw it was him. She licked her lips quick—nervously. Instinctively he smiled at her, open and warm and reassuring. And eventually, as she looked up at him, her pale face flushed with a more normal color. An answering smile dawned on her full lips. And then it came—that sparkle of devilish anticipation flickered in her eyes.

But she said nothing.

He knew she was waiting—wanting—his instruction. But he wasn’t going there. Yet.

“Come out with me,” he said.

Her eyes instantly narrowed. “Out?” she repeated. “Where?”

“It’s a surprise,” he drawled.

She folded her arms beneath her curvy breasts. “I don’t like surprises.”

“Sure you do.” He grinned, happy she was making a stand. It meant she was more relaxed.

She glanced away and then back at him. He wondered if she was going to resist more seriously or, even better, come up with an alternative offer of her own. But he guessed she’d do neither.

It wasn’t that she was totally passive. If he put his finger in her mouth she sucked on it hard. She spread for him to take her only to then clench hot and fast and lock him in place. Her hands skimmed, teased, caressed him as he moved over her. She was absolutely into it. And he could tell from the sparkle in her eyes that she was thinking all kinds of things. There was so much going on in that brain of hers.

But she still didn’t instigate. The only time she’d verbally expressed a preference was about the bath last night and that hadn’t been a sensual request, that had come from fear. And though she was already generous, he knew she had more to give.

He wanted it—her secrets, her desires.

But for now, in bed and in this whole arrangement, she still needed him to take the lead. So he’d make it simple for her.

“If you want to come tonight,” he said, casually resting a shoulder on her door frame. “You’ll come with me now.”

“And if I don’t?”

Flames licked at his lower belly at the tiny hint of defiance in her tone. Yeah, he wanted to see her spirit finally come free. “No more fantasies. No more orgasms. Your choice.”

“You can give it up that easy?” she asked, sceptically raising her brows. “After only a few nights?”

He grinned. She was calling him on it.

Her arms tightened beneath her breasts and he couldn’t help noticing her nipples poking hard through her tank top. He glanced back up and encountered her stern look.

“You’re that confident,” she almost snarled.

“Let me show you why.” He straightened and pulled her close, boldly sliding his fingers under her skirt and up to the crotch of her silky panties. “You’re already wet for me,” he whispered. “Just as I’m already hard for you. I only have to think of you to get like this. So seeing you? Getting this close to you?” He shook his head. “Just hurry the hell up.”

Her eyes glinted, her chin lifted.

Go on. He willed her. Fight me. Challenge me. Dare me.

But she didn’t. She pushed away from him, turned and grabbed her handbag.

How was it possible to be satisfied and frustrated at the same time? Restraining his frustration, Xander double-checked her apartment was locked as they left. But he knew biding his time wasn’t possible. He was going to have to push a little harder. Take a little more. Demand a little more. Help a little more.

He led her to a cab and eyed her wickedly throughout the journey—refusing to answer the curiosity in her eyes. If she wasn’t going to ask, he wasn’t going to tell. And as much as this was a test of how things stood, it was also a game. Aggravating and thrilling.

She smiled blandly as the cab pulled up outside Rocco’s hotel but she still said nothing. She’d noticed the bag slung over his shoulder but hadn’t asked about that either. Determined not to cross boundaries, huh?

Too bad.

He led her to the lift, pushing the button once inside. She read the destination next to the number and stiffened.

“Relax.” He rolled his eyes to make light of it. “I thought you might like to watch a game,” he murmured. “You seemed to like looking at me in the water the other day.”

She sent him a tart look. “What an ego.”

“I know. But I’m right.” He knew he was right about her. She wanted back in.

Chelsea reluctantly followed Xander out of the elevator. In the distance she saw the pool. A bunch of guys stood nearby stripping down—not to trunks, but brief Speedos. Wow. Who knew Speedos could look so good? It was like she’d walked into a Men’s Fitness photo shoot. His running buddies were there and all looked straight at her.

“Why do I have to be with you for this?” She muttered, not really for him to hear. He’d not wanted her to meet his friends and she’d not wanted to either. It wasn’t part of the deal.

“Because I want you to,” he answered calmly.

She shouldn’t feel such a big bubble of pleasure at that. Wasn’t a night with her supposed to be ‘nothing’? She knew he’d said that to fob off his friend, but to a degree it was true. She was his fantasy f*ckathon filly—his to ride when he liked. And she liked. An arrangement that wasn’t really real.

That’s what they’d both wanted. Many people had this kind of thing, right? Sexual partners with whom they were safe but not committed to and not really ‘intimate’ with? And for her who better than a guy like Xander who was both passionate and playful. She didn’t get why he was changing the boundaries now. Why take this out of her apartment?

She turned as he dropped his bag and whipped off his tee. Well he did have one thing right. She did like to look at him. He winked as his hands went to his belt.

Yeah.

She turned away, fighting the heat burning into her cheeks. She just wished they were outside. Even though the basement pool was brilliantly lit and there were plants and greenery to enhance the ‘natural’ feeling of the place, it oppressed her. She stared at the water—forgetting about the men, not hearing their chat and low laughs. It looked deep. Chills pressed into her.

“Chelsea?”

She hardly heard him.

“Breathe.” Bare-chested Xander stood right in front of her, blocking her view of the blue. He framed her face with his hands and brought her close for a kiss.

He sure kissed her. It was a kiss that offered more than the searing sensuality that always burned when they touched. There was a different kind of heat this time. A gentler warmth as his lips roved over hers, a comfort as his tongue tenderly stroked into the empty cavern of her mouth.

The cold receded, heat filled the empty spots that had been widening inside. She rose on tiptoe to keep him close. But he drew away, leaving her not just panting, but yearning. He turned away.

Belatedly she recollected the presence of the other guys. She glanced beyond Xander to them. Yeah, they’d seen that kiss—as if Xander had deliberately branded her as his.

Except it wasn’t that. He and she both knew he’d been distracting her. He’d aimed to soothe and stop her slide into panic. He knew that about her.

He knew she was afraid of the water.

And he’d wanted to help.

Uneasy, she sat on a chair well back from the pool and tried not to look conspicuous. There were a few other spectators but Chelsea had mastered the art of avoidance—cue phone out and head down. But once the whistle blew and the splashing started she couldn’t help watching the action.

Waterpolo was a fierce sport—she knew first hand. She knew how fit they had to be to keep treading water like that, how strong to be able to rear up so far out of the water, how adept to catch the ball one handed. They threw ferociously, swam fiercely. Nothing tame about it. But they were laughing as they dragged each other under. They scored quickly, relentlessly, joyously. They were having so much fun it was painful to watch. That’s when she went back to the phone and opened up a book app—she’d read. But she couldn’t concentrate. The shouts, the laughter, the cheers and jeers kept her looking up.

“You came with Xander?”

She nearly jumped out of her seat. She hadn’t noticed him walk over and stand beside her, she’d been too busy watching Xander firing the ball from one end of the pool to the other—and land a goal. But Logan—with the cheekbones and fallen angel eyes was right beside her. His expression was kind of fierce and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days—even more the fallen angel.

Well she was not reacting to the double entendre. Not. He probably didn’t even mean it that way. Too childish. But the guy was smiling. A slightly familiar—fully wicked—grin.

“How do you know him?” she asked without thinking.

Logan’s gaze sharpened. “We’re cousins.”

So she hadn’t imagined the similarity. They were related. Only Logan’s hair was jet black compared to Xander’s brown and his ‘edge’ more pointed. She nodded casually but curiosity still bit. “And good friends?”

“We spent all our teen years together,” he said. “He, me and my brother. Anything more you’re going to have to worm out of him yourself.” Logan sent her another narrow-eyed look. “I’m sure you’ll figure out a way.”

What more was there? Obviously there was something because she read tension within Logan. The guy was protective of Xander, and somehow saw her as a possible threat? That she could hurt the guy? Didn’t Logan know Xander was all steel?

Interesting. Maybe even steel had a weakness, even it if it was used to protect and defend… something.

She glanced over to Xander—her curiosity flaring. He was out of the water and watching her, looking edgier than Logan ever could.

“Thought you’d decided to stick to legit sports.” He called to Logan, his voice had even more sharpness than his expression.

“Absolutely.” Logan grinned and walked back towards the pool.

Chelsea looked at Xander. His expression softened a touch before he turned to dive back into the pool and join his mates.

Nice to know the lone-wolf had back-up if he needed it. In fact, given the unveiled curious looks she was getting from all the get-fit gang, he seemed to have three guys ready to back him up. But she got the feeling Xander worked things so he never needed it.

She gave up pretending to read and just watched Xander for the rest of the game. She concentrated on the expressions crossing his face as he played—determination, ruthlessness, satisfaction. After a while she forgot he was even in the water as she wondered about him. What had made him into the strong, fit man he was? Why didn’t he want anything more from a woman than easygoing get-togethers? Was it just that he liked variety or was it something more serious than that?

When he left to get changed she buried her nose back in her screen. She didn’t want to talk to any of his friends or family. Well she did, but she didn’t want to face their curiosity.

“What are you reading?” Xander asked as he walked over to her, back in his customary jeans and tee.

“Nothing much,” she said.

“Sounds interesting. Should I get a copy?”

She chuckled. The historical fiction book might as well have been in Swedish for all the sense she’d made of it in the last twenty minutes.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s grab dinner.”

She stood carefully, giving her leg a little shake to make sure it hadn’t stiffened too much before she attempted to walk. She didn’t want to draw attention by limping more than usual. “You don’t want to go for drinks with your friends?” Wasn’t that the usual drill after guys had played sport together?

A cheeky half grin appeared on his face. “Do you want to?”

She shook her head. She wanted to go home alone, with him.

“Good,” he said, turning to walk to the elevator. “I’m starving.”

So was she.

“I have the perfect restaurant,” he added.

Restaurant? Really? She’d thought he meant get take-out. “I’m not dressed for a restaurant.”

His gaze travelled down her, the appraisal lasting the entire elevator ride up to the pavement level. “You look good to me.”

“Why are you doing this?” she asked as they exited the hotel. She so wasn’t getting the point.

“Because you’re new to living in the city and I’m being a nice, friendly neighbor,” he drawled with his easy, incorrigible charm. “But mainly because I want to get in your pants again.”

He didn’t need to take her to dinner to get her into bed again, and they both knew it. Honestly, she just wanted him to take her home and ravish her like he had the last seven nights. There was no need for niceties. They had the routine now, right?

His cheeky grin gave way to a chuckle as he guided them along the pavement. “It was a full on game. And I get the feeling I need to replenish my fuel tank. There’s a look on your face suggesting I’m going to need it.”

“I didn’t think superheroes ran out of energy,” she said softly.

He paused, swivelling to look at her square on. “You’re that hungry for something else?”

Well, duh. She looked right back at him.

But his eyes narrowed and he abruptly turned and walked. “My rules,” he muttered.

She frowned briefly as she moved to catch up with him—why the irritation?

The restaurant was French and expensive and he’d clearly made a booking. She shot him a questioning stare as they sat.

“You want a drink? Some wine?” he asked, looking amused.

“No thank you, I’m good with water.” She had the feeling she needed all her wits about her tonight. “But don’t let me stop you.”

“I don’t drink.”

Okay. She caught the faint tightening around his eyes. There was a reason for that? She held back her curiosity and glanced around the ornate dining room again. “This is a very nice restaurant.”

“It’s my way of saying thank you,” he said blandly.

“What for?” she asked pointedly. He’d better not say bedroom favours.

“For supporting me at polo. I know you didn’t really want to be there.”

She hesitated, unsure of how to reply. Then a shadow fell over the table. Excellent—saved by the waiter again. She smiled vivaciously and poured over the menu, quizzing the guy about what he thought were the best options. Four minutes later she was handing the menu back to the waiter, when she heard a distant chiming sound. Hell. It was her mobile. She quickly grabbed it from her bag to switch it off but then she saw the screen—three missed calls in the last ten minutes?

All the same number.

“Hey Mom.” She pulled an apologetic face at Xander—who was looking even more amused—and then tried to turn away, lowering her voice.

“You didn’t answer your phone. I was worried.” Yeah, she sounded it.

“Mom I was fine,” Chelsea smiled brightly so her mother would hear it. “I was just out walking and didn’t hear it ring. My phone was in my bag.”

“You’re out walking?” Her mother asked. “Isn’t it late?”

“Not that late. I’m just out for dinner. Having a nice time like you wanted me to, remember? I’m fine Mom. I’ll phone you back first thing tomorrow.” She ended the call and glance at Xander. “Sorry about that. She calls all the time.”

His brows flashed. “She worries?”

“Uh huh.” A lot. Chelsea reached for her glass of water and almost knocked it. She almost wished she had, it would end this conversation. But he was watching her closely, like he expected more. “You know mothers.” She shrugged.

He still didn’t pick up on her ‘topic finisher’ tone. “You’re close.”

“Yeah.” She shook her head and smiled. “But she worries about me being in the big smoke all by myself and out late at night.”

“Yeah,” Xander nodded seriously. “My mom’s the same.”

At that she giggled.

“What, you don’t believe me?” His eyes twinkled.

“You seem pretty able to take care of yourself.”

He sent her a wry look. “Well, I can find food, clothing—”

“And a bed when you need it,” Chelsea interpolated neatly.

His grin widened. “But she still worries.”

Chelsea dropped her gaze and studied the silverware on the table. “Does she want you to settle down?”

“Hope springs eternal in all mothers, doesn’t it?”

She grinned. “Yeah. I think so.” She lifted her glass and took a sip of cool water. “You seem pretty close to those guys in your team.”

“Yeah,” he acknowledged, sitting back as the waiter delivered their meals. “Logan is my cousin. Together with Connor, his brother, we worked as lifeguards in the summer then in ski season we were in rescue patrol. Hunter and Rocco as well. They were great jobs when we were studying—extra hours in the holidays and good pay.”

So he’d been buddies with all these guys since he was a kid? No wonder they’d eyed her so curiously. Did he not often take a woman to watch their games? “And I bet you scored big time,” she said.

“We had some fun.” He didn’t deny it. “But actually, all those hours on the beach can get a bit boring.”

“Surrounded by bikini clad babes?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She took a bite of her chicken and nearly died—so good. “And then you went into security.”

“Systems and surveillance, property protection, yes.” He lifted his fork too and took a bite.

“Why? You like cameras?” She teased. “You like watching people?”

He laughed appreciatively. “I far prefer dealing with someone in the flesh to watching an image.”

What, so he wasn’t a voyeur? “You watched me by the pool.”

“You watched me,” he reminded her. “Both of us were waiting for the right moment.” He angled his head and studied her. That hot, intense look that made her sizzle from the inside out. “A moment like now.”

She met his gaze—read the desire in his eyes. Knew her eyes reflected the same. Distraction time? Yeah, maybe that was a good thing. To keep this as fantasy.

A wicked smile crossed his face. “Have you ever fantasized about having sex in public?”

Uh, only in the last second.

“What about getting off in a restaurant?” he asked, finally going into more detail. “With people sitting all around you.”

“How would you do that?”

“Make you come?” He pinned her in place with another look—sharper, hungrier. Gorgeous. “I guess I’d need a longer tablecloth to be able to get on my knees between your legs. So sucking you off isn’t going to happen, sadly.”

She resisted the urge to rub back and forth on the seat. “You are so cruel.”

“I could, however, slip a finger into place,” he ignored her interruption and mercilessly continued. “Maybe two. I could rub my thumb on—”

She clamped her hand over his mouth. Felt him chuckle. Then felt his tongue. Oh the man had skill with his tongue.

“You’ve stopped breathing again. We’re going to have to do something about this.” He pulled her hand down from his lips and leaned over and kissed her. His teeth nipped her lower lip before he pulled away—far too soon.

“Oh dear,” he muttered. “The waiter is coming.”

No, she was the one about to come. “You’re so evil,” she choked.

He laughed and took every opportunity to touch her through the meal. His leg pressed against hers, he touched her wrists. And he looked at her, as intently and attentively as if he could see all the way into her.

Getting out of the restaurant and through the cab ride home was almost unbearable.

As she struggled to unlock her door, his fingers trailed up and down her thigh—not going high enough or hard enough. Pure tantalizing torment.

As soon as they were in her room he pulled something from his bag.

“What’s that?” She stared at the package.

“So suspicious.” He laughed and opened it up.

“What are you going to do with it?”

“What do you think?”

Heat surged. “Where did you get it from? Did you have it already? You have a cupboard full of sex toys I should know about?”

“And doesn’t the thought of that turn you on.” He chuckled. “Internet. Courier. These things are easily done.”

“I don’t want to—”

“Yes, you do.” He ran the tip of the vibrator across her lips. “You’ve been sheltered your whole life. You’ve never had or done many things. But you’ve dreamed. Fantasized.”

She loved it when he brought on his fantasy talk. The way his voice dropped—the sound of sex. She licked her lips, letting her tongue touch the very tip of the toy. “So what am I going to do?”

He tossed the vibrator onto the bed and began to undress her. “You’re naked, of course.” He slipped the dress from her shoulders and she stepped free of it. “And what do you think happens then?” he teased.

She shook her head, so desperate for the release that was so, so close. “Damn it, Xander.”

“You’re experimenting.” He laughed, amusement in his eyes at her frustration and pushed her back onto the bed. He peeled her underwear from her skin and spread her legs—letting his fingers tease as wickedly as his words were. Only then he switched on the vibrator and gently rolled it up the inside of each thigh until she arched restlessly.

“You get caught. You’re lying there with this toy between your legs and you’re about to come and someone walks into the room.”

“Who?” she whispered.

“One of your servants. Your favorite.”

“Of course,” she breathed.

Xander stepped back and quickly removed his clothes, snapping on a condom before turning back to her. “You’ve seen him often. Admired from afar. Checked out his butt when you thought he wasn’t looking. Not to mention his abs of steel.”

She chuckled even as she yearned for more of his touch. “Of course.”

“But of course he’s noticed you looking. But he hasn’t done anything. How can he? You’re the princess—”

“A princess?”

“Naturally. And you can’t be touched by one as lowly as him. But when he walks in he sees how wet you are, how excited. How needy.”

“And what does he do?”

“You see him. You can’t hide that he’s the one you need. And he says—‘I can show you’.” Xander’s smile deepened. “But I can’t penetrate you.”

“You can’t?”

Xander laughed at her high-pitched disappointment. “No, definitely can’t. A princess has to remain pure.”

“Oh.” Chelsea managed to pout and reached out to stroke him in kind.

“You are going to test every ounce of my control.” Xander smiled through gritted teeth.

“Yes I am.”

“But your servant is going to resist.”

“Is he?” She giggled and squirmed again. “So what does he do?”

“He tells you to lie back and he’ll show you how your body ought to be used. What it’s built for.”

“He’s going to penetrate me with the vibe though, isn’t he?”

Xander just laughed.

Kissed her breast. He nibbled on her nipple and then soothed the sting with his lips and tongue. A gentle suck and drag. She wanted more. She wanted harder. “You’re such a tease.”

“Pleasure has to be drawn out, Princess.”

“Why?”

“To maximize it. Make it intense.”

It already was intense with the hum of the machine against her *. The rhythmic licks of his tongue across her entrance. She was squirming so much.

“Lie still or I’ll stop.”

How the hell was she supposed to lie still when he kept up that insane torture?

He knelt above her, moving even as he kept intimately kissing her. She reached out and took his cock in her hand, hoping to stoke him into faster action.

In response he nibbled and sucked harder, made her arch closer.

“Please, please, please.” She was begging and she didn’t care. She wanted him to finish her off. She was so, so close and it was killing her. She rubbed him faster.

At that moment he stopped and pressed the vibrator against the fingers of her other hand so she curled them around it.

“Okay,” he invited. “You have a toy in each hand. Your choice. What are you going to do? Which is better?”

She kept a firm grip on them both, the vibrator lubed and humming in her hand and him—hot, hard velvet. Her choice.

Passion erupted. She so knew what she was going to do. She wriggled quickly. Positioning herself flat on the bed, letting her head tip back almost over the edge of the mattress. She opened her mouth and sucked him in. At the same time she pushed the vibrator into herself. She clamped on it—at the strangeness. Oh it was good.

There was a startled shout from him, then a groan. His hips jerked involuntarily and he thrust a little too far.

She reached back, smashed her hands on his butt and kept him there.

“You are a constant revelation.” He muttered. “Hell, Chelsea.”

She laughed, the sound smothered.

He reached down and worked the vibe for her, matching the rhythm with the suck and drag of her mouth on his cock. And then he bent further over her and sucked on her *.

Oh sweet mercy, the sensations were so insane she hurtled straight into orgasm. Her hands clenched on his hips, ramming him deeper into her throat, muffling her screams through her shudders.

She heard his pleased, soft laughter as she returned back from the brink and tilted her head back to look at him. He was still hard. She’d wanted him to come in her mouth. She wanted him as out of control as she’d just been. But he hadn’t. Now he moved. He slid the vibrator from her body, tossing it to the side and pushing his cock in its place.

She groaned at the feel of him. She was slippery, more than ready, but even so, he filled her to capacity.

“You have the most amazing mouth. It fits me perfectly. You fit me.” He kissed her, his tongue stroking the way his cock had only moments before. Deep, rhythmic. Demanding. As he drove deep inside her the urgency for release coiled within her again.

“The vibe has its place,” he muttered. “But nothing beats this.”

She smiled at him.

For a moment all fantasy was gone—there was her and him. No princess, no servant, no toy. No game. Just Xander. He looked down at her with a twist to his lips that couldn’t possibly be tender and caring. But it was. His kiss more so.

Even as she came, Chelsea knew she was in trouble.