She let out a laugh, which is what he wanted, and she sniffed loudly as she said, “I bet.”
“Yeah, but that other stuff, Reese, surely you don’t believe it. Yes, you are a little cold, but that’s only on the outside. Your girls know how you are, the real Reese. You don’t connect with the parents, you connect with the girls, and that’s why you are so successful. Claire is no longer the girl she was when she first came to me, and I truly believe that is because of you. You not only train the girls to succeed, but you also give them a support system like no others.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. I hear the parents when I am sitting in there during rec class. They believe in you, they love you, and love that their kid is being trained by you. So you lost a girl? Another will replace her, or hell, she might come back on her knees, begging to come back to you. Don’t let one person affect how you think of yourself. If I did that, I wouldn’t be where I am. I’d be a drunken druggie with nine kids all over Minnesota. No one can define you but you.”
She let out a shuddering breath, and he wished he could wrap her up in his arms and comfort her with his body. He hated that she even believed those things that woman said. They weren’t true. Not by a long shot. “Not that it matters what I think, but I think you are amazing. You’re not only so gorgeous that my dick stands at attention every time I see you, but you blow me away with your intellect. You’re so business savvy, so smart, so beautiful, and fucking hell, Reese, you’re hot. Yes, you like sex, so does everyone else, so what? As long as you love yourself, who cares what everyone else thinks?”
She was quiet for a moment before saying, “It does matter.”
He was confused. “What does?”
“What you think… that’s why I called you.”
That made him grin. “Good.”
“I’m sorry I called a blubbering mess.”
He laughed. “Don’t apologize, it’s fine. I’m here when you need me.”
She paused and didn’t say anything for a long minute, and he didn’t either. He let her gather herself. The more he listened to her breathe, sniff, and wipe her nose, the more he fell. He loved her. So much it hurt. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and probably would never stop loving her. This could all come crashing down into a clusterfuck of fuckness, but he couldn’t stop his feelings. He didn’t care how much it could possibly hurt when she left because he was all in, and all he needed was for her to realize that. To stop being so stubborn and hardheaded and just give in to him. Love him.
“I didn’t think I needed you,” she said softly.
He didn’t know what to say to that and he probably shouldn’t have said what he did, but taking a chance he said, “Sometimes the things we need most are the things we think we don’t.”
“What do you mean?”
He shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. “I mean that I didn’t know that I needed Claire the way I did, but now that I have her, I can’t let her go. Ever. She is a part of me now.”
She paused and then asked, “I’m not following.”
Wracking his brain for words because all he could think was ‘Just love me,’ he let out a breath before saying, “I mean that I’m here when you need me. Maybe you ignore me because we are just having fun and you forget that we are friends too.”
She took in a deep breath before clearing her throat. His heart stopped because a feeling of dread filled him from the top of his head to his toes. Maybe he should have just shut up; maybe he shouldn’t have said anything and just listened. Damn it, he couldn’t lose her, he needed more time. He needed to prove that he was what she needed. That she could love him. All she had to do was let go.
“You’re right,” she said, causing his eyes to close tightly. “But I don’t forget, Phillip. I know that we are friends. It’s just hard for me to open up to a man, but with you, it’s different. Easy.”