Worry about it? She didn’t think she would ever worry about anything again if this numbness held. Even the hate for Toby had become a thing of the intellect rather than the heart. She wanted to sleep, to lay her head on the pillow and never wake up, never have to deal with this evil, horrible world where good people like Cat could meet such a terrible end and someone whom you had loved and trusted with all your heart could betray you so completely. She would never put her faith in a man again.
Looking at her, Kane was pretty sure he knew what she was thinking. Walking across to the window, he stood in front of her but without touching her or taking her hands. ‘It’s a cliché, I know, and I hate clichés, but time really is a great healer, my dear. I’ve proved it in my own life. You’re tired and spent now, and no wonder, but you will recover from this and be the stronger for it.’
The words of understanding were almost too much. They were weakening and she couldn’t afford to be weak. There was a second’s pause before Sophy stepped away from him, and her voice was cool when she said, ‘Lunch is ready. And I shall return to the theatre today, Kane. I’ve been away long enough.’
‘No one will expect that, not in the circumstances.’
She turned with her hand on the door knob. ‘I know it isn’t seemly, Kane. Certainly not before the funeral. But from this moment on, I’m going to do what I see fit. My friends won’t understand, but those who are really my friends will take me as I am. The others . . .’ She shrugged her slim shoulders.
It was rare Kane didn’t know what to say but this was one of those times. He wanted to gather her up in his arms, to tell her all men weren’t the same and he would give his life for her without a moment’s hesitation, that he wanted to protect and cherish and love her.
Instead he nodded, and as she led the way to the dining room, he felt a weight descend on his heart. It was only now he admitted to himself that when the Inspector had told him of Toby’s death he had felt a surge of elation that she was free and the way was now open to him. In reality, asking her to look on him as anything more than a friend was now further away than ever.
Chapter 21
Patience sat at the breakfast-table in a state of shock, staring at the letter she had just opened and read. When William said, ‘What is it, my love? Are you unwell?’ she simply thrust Sophy’s letter into his hand.
She watched his eyes scan the words written on the single piece of paper before she said, ‘I have to go to her, William. Now, today.’
William looked at her in alarm. Although they were both thrilled about the baby, the pregnancy had been a far from easy one. The chronic sickness in the first four months had been so debilitating it had frightened him, even though Patience had remained cheerful throughout. That had eased in latter weeks and she was now able to eat normally again, but she was nothing but skin and bone, apart from the gently rounded swell of her belly. ‘I don’t think that’s wise. She’s said here the funeral is over and done with, so I really don’t see why you need to make such a journey in your condition. You can write, send flowers. She’ll understand.’
Patience smiled. He was a dear and she loved him with all her heart, but for a medical man he wasn’t handling the problems of her condition very well. Perhaps it was because he was a doctor and knew what could go wrong? But she felt well now, better than she had in a long time actually. ‘I must go,’ she said again. ‘It’s not just that Sophy has lost her husband but the circumstances – well, it’s horrific, William. What must she be feeling? And it was only a little while ago she wrote about the murder of her friend.’
‘Darling, you need to build your strength up and do nothing more strenuous than sit in the garden each day at this time. Think of the baby.’
‘I think of the baby all the time.’ She took his hand across the table. ‘And I’m not ill, William. Just expecting a child. I understand your concern and I promise I’ll be sensible, but I have to go to her and perhaps stay for a while until she’s a little better.’
‘You don’t know she isn’t all right.’
‘Oh yes, I do. The way she’s written, it’s – well, it’s not Sophy. And people need family at such desperate times.’
‘But you hadn’t seen each other for years until we met by accident.’
Patience lowered her gaze to their joined hands. ‘I know,’ she said softly. ‘And I was deeply unhappy about that. I – I’ve always felt so guilty about how I behaved towards her until we went to school. I was hateful, William. A little beast. And perhaps if I’d been different, Mother wouldn’t have thought she could get away with so much.’
‘Now don’t get upset. And I have to say hand on heart that nothing you could have done or said would have influenced your mother’s actions.’ In truth, he thought his mother-in-law unbalanced and was thankful they had little to do with her.
‘Perhaps.’
William looked into her eyes and sighed. ‘Come on, no tears. Dry your eyes. If you are going to go I will come with you and fetch you when you want to come home, all right? And you must take Tilly with you.’ Tilly was their housekeeper, a widow who had never had children of her own, which was a pity because she was a warm, motherly soul.
‘But Sophy might not have room—’