“We’ve broken everyone into teams with leaders. Each team has a specific goal to accomplish. After this meeting, the list of teams and their leaders will be hung in the hallway for you to see. You’ll meet with your team and leader to begin your specific training this week.” He motions to the large screens. “Those of you who aren’t present but are connected by remote satellite will be notified of your teams by your local team leaders.”
Some of the faces on screen smile, while others look solemn. We all know what’s at stake. Relationships. Lives. The future.
“Next week we begin the full offensive.” A hush moves across the room, and all eyes are glued upon Sutton.
“I bear the full weight of my responsibility as a leader. I know some of you won’t survive, but take hope in the knowledge that you’re giving the younger generation a chance you never had. A chance to live freely without terror, without want, without injustice. You give them the hope that they can overcome anything—short of death.”
The crowd roars as they stand and applaud him once again. The last sentence of his speech resonates with all, and I finger the ring on my hand, feeling my father’s presence. Wishing he were here. Wishing Alyssa could witness this.
People start moving around, talking in loud voices, and crowding out into the hallway to see their groups. The lights come back on slowly, and the remote satellite links are disabled one by one. Men stand with Sutton and Keegan around the hologram in the center, discussing tactics. Zeus waits with me.
“Of course you’re in Keegan’s group.” A familiar voice breaks into my thoughts.
I spin and Cole stands before me. I drop my eyes, looking anywhere but at him. I can’t control my hands, so I twist them together. He eyes my ring, taking my hand into his, and playing with it. His touch sends ripples throughout my being.
“Does that surprise you?”
“No, but it pisses me off. You deserve the right to choose who you want to fight with. God, babe, I miss you. I’m going crazy. I think about you constantly. I’m worried that you’re hurt, worried that you need me, and worried that you’ll—”
I put my hand on his chest to stop him. I know what he feels because I feel it too. The need, the desire to be together is almost overwhelming. It strips me of rationale and melts my resolve like fire bending steel.
“I miss you more, but our feelings for each other are exactly why Keegan doesn’t want us fighting together.”
“I’m still going to protect you.” He shifts his weight, dropping my hand, unsure of himself. “I’m still going to worry about you.”
“No! You need to worry about keeping yourself alive. I can take care of myself now. If only you could see how good I’ve become, you’d see I don’t need your protection anymore.” My soul screams for him, longing to touch him back and desiring to rewind time. “I hope you know I never thought he’d force you to leave…” I stumble over my own words and he stops me.
“No, don’t you dare blame yourself.”
My insides crumble and I have to swallow my desire to jump into his arms. He still loves me. Instead, I kneel down and put my arms around Zeus, who promptly licks me from my chin up to my nose.
“Eww, Zeus!” I laugh out loud, breaking the physical tension between Cole and me for a quick moment.
“You look hot, by the way. Not that you weren’t hot before—you definitely were—it’s just now you’re filled out and your muscles are so damn sexy,” Cole says. He kneels down, patting Zeus’s head too. His hands make their way to mine until we’re both kneeling, gazing into each other’s faces and wishing for privacy. Why does this have to be so hard?
Someone clears his throat, forcing me back to reality. Then I notice people are outright staring at us as we hold hands.
I stand up stiffly, pulling my hands away, and shake my head. “We can’t do this. If Keegan sees us, he’ll never let you come back.”
“Last time I checked, Sutton’s in charge—not him.” Cole steps closer. “If I want to kiss my girlfriend, hug my girlfriend, I will and there isn’t a damn thing he can do about it.”
“Please don’t make a scene. Things are already hard enough.”
“Babe—”
I can’t handle his pleading. I dart out so fast that I can’t remember which door I entered. I wish I could turn around and look at him one last time, but talking to him was enough torture for one day. I won’t choose between him and my brother.
I push through people and find the lists in the hallway. Scanning the paper, I see my name under Keegan’s, as expected. I check and find Cole’s name under Sutton.
This is killing me. I bang my forehead on the wall in frustration and leave. I rush back to my room and climb into my bed as the dam breaks and my tears flow freely.
This is all moving at a pace so fast I can’t keep up. I feel weak, even though I’m strong. I feel incapable, even though I can do it. I know I’m doing the right thing for so many reasons. It’s not just about Cole. It’s for my father, Alyssa, and so many others I’ve seen die grisly deaths in the last few months. Now, more than ever, I want the commander to pay for all I’ve lost. And mostly, I want to fight for those people like me, who were branded sinners when innocent. Whatever the cost, I’ll fight. This is as ready as I’ll ever be.
CHAPTER 20