He’s so gentle. So gentle it drives me crazy.
I’m struggling for oxygen as his hands run down my arms. I don’t want to move an inch, afraid of breaking apart. I never want to break apart. His hands linger, his touch like feathers as he makes his way to the hem of my shirt. I lift up my arms and he pulls my shirt up over my head and tosses it. Zeus growls and that’s when I feel my straps slide off my shoulders.
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me away from the wall and turning my back toward the bed. He unhooks my bra and I let it drop.
“Take off your shirt,” I say.
He lifts his T-shirt up over his head and chucks it behind him. He swallows hard and his words are soft and shaky. “Lexi,” he says, “I want you… all of you. I want nothing but you. It’s making me insane.”
Smiling, I say, “You have me. I’m right here. I’m yours.”
“Are you okay with me touching you like this? If not, I can just hold you and kiss you.” His fingers stroke the side of my face as he looks into my eyes for approval.
“I’m more than okay—trust me.”
He kisses me again, this time harder, longer, without coming up for air. I don’t want him to stop—I never want it to stop. He pulls me into his arms, picks me up, and carries me to the bed. He gently lays me down and straddles my hips. I shove his pillow onto the floor.
“I want to kiss your brand… if that’s all right?”
“I’d love that.”
And that’s exactly what he does. He gently kisses every millimeter of my brand. He rolls me onto my left side, my right side, and my stomach trying to heal my emotional wounds with the touch of his lips. And that, right there, is the best part about him—he cares.
“Come here!” I wrap my arms around his waist and bring his body down on the bed so he’s lying on top of me. He moves his right arm down to my thigh and grabs on, pulling my leg over his. I lean into him and he moans with desire. One hand strokes my hip while the other grabs my thigh. I guide his hand from my thigh and rest it on my lower back. I feel his heart racing as he breathes heavily into my ear.
“Oh God,” he says. He sits up and pulls me to the center of the bed. I yank him back down on top of me, kissing him. And we kiss each other as if we’ll never be satisfied. Again and again.
He pulls away. “Can you handle this?” I nod even though I never want to stop. He takes my face in his warm, large hands. “Should I stop?”
“You better not.”
“Whew, thank God, because I definitely don’t want to.” His lips press mine with such intensity I’m losing control.
“You feel amazing,” I whisper in his ear. He groans loudly. I push him off. His eyes are unfocused and eager. I place both my hands on his chest.
“Lay on your back. I need to feel you,” I say. He lies down, unsure. I swing my leg over and straddle him, running my fingertips over his perfect muscles. Is this really happening? Is he really mine? He places his hands on my lower back and pulls me down to him.
I don’t fight him. I won’t fight him. I’ve never felt this way before. He kisses me deeply as we rock together. He runs his hand down my spine and pulls my hips into him. I sit up.
I close my eyes. “Tell me this is real. Please tell me you really want me because…”
“Lexi,” he says. “It’s real. I’m real. We’re real. Everything’s real.”
He brings me back down, unties my ponytail, and runs his hands through my hair, rolling me back over and pressing his pelvis into mine. I open my eyes and he’s staring at me with so much passion. A tear runs down my face and he wipes it away with his thumb.
“Babe, let’s take it slow. I don’t want to move too fast… I don’t just want to make love. I want to make our love last.”
“How am I supposed to argue with that?” I reason between kisses, trying to catch my breath.
“I need to tell you something. I need you to believe me. No matter what… you have to believe me.”
“Okay, I promise—I’ll believe you,” I say, pulling away from him.
“I love you.”
My heart skips a thousand beats and I smile.
“You have no idea how much I love you,” he says.
His eyes fill up with tears as mine spill over and I start to sob. He holds me as tight as he possibly can without crushing me, and I dig my face into his shoulder.
I open my mouth to speak, but before I get a chance to utter a word, Cole continues. “Stop. I don’t ever want you to question it. I love you. I’d give my life to save yours. That’s how much I love you. Don’t you dare ever doubt that… If something happens to me and I’m not here—”
“Cole, don’t say that. You can’t say that to me—ever. You’re not allowed to leave me. If you die, I die—right?”
A tear lands on my cheek. His tear.
I wrap my arms around his back and he squeezes me tighter. I don’t ever want him to let me go. Ever.
CHAPTER 15