Dante hesitated but then he nodded. I walked ahead to hide my elated expression from him. This felt like a major victory.
After we’d showered, we slipped into bed. I snuggled up to Dante’s back and slung my arm over his stomach. When I’d almost fallen asleep, his hand covered mine.
***
We fell into the same routine we’d established before the Frank-fiasco. Dante fucked me at night, engaged me in talk about the casino during meals and otherwise ignored me mostly. Every morning I woke alone, no matter how long Dante had kept me up the night before.
This was also the case the morning I was woken from cramps. When I sat up, a violent wave of morning sickness hit me. I stormed into the bathroom and threw up what little I had in my stomach, gasping for breath and feeling dizzy. Gradually a suspicion wormed its way into my mind. My period was overdue at least a week. But then, my menstrual cycles had always been rather volatile so I hadn’t paid it much heed.
Was I pregnant? Slowly I straightened and walked toward the washbasin to rinse my face and mouth. It would be the logical explanation. Dante and I had been sleeping with each other for months without protection. When I was certain that my dizziness had passed, I took a shower before I dressed in casual chinos and a pullover, pulled my hair into a ponytail and made my way downstairs. I had to find out if I was pregnant.
I called for Taft and told him I needed to go to a pharmacy. Enzo still had his arm in a cast, so he couldn’t work as my driver at the moment. Taft didn’t ask why, for which I was glad. I didn’t want anyone to suspect anything yet. I needed to know for sure before I told anyone. Taft waited in the car as I headed into the pharmacy and bought two pregnancy tests. Once back in the car, my purchase safely hidden in my bag, I turned to Taft. “Please drive me to Bibiana.” Since I’d started working in the casino, I’d had less time for her, but this was something I wanted to share with her.
I texted her so she’d know I was coming and didn’t surprise her and her husband at a bad time again. Luckily, Tommaso wasn’t home when I arrived at Bibiana’s. There were no visible bruises on her body, and I hoped it was because Tommaso was treating her better and not because he made sure to hide them better since Bibi had spent the night at my house. “Are you okay?” I asked as a way of greeting.
Bibi nodded. “Tommaso has been in a good mood recently.” She led me into the living room. “I’m so glad to see you again. Don’t you have to work?”
“I don’t think I’ll go today. I’ll give Leo a call later to let him know.”
“Has something happened?”
I pulled the pregnancy tests out of my bag.
Bibi’s eyes grew wide. “You’re pregnant?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I bought these. I wanted you to be there when I found out.”
“Wow. Does Dante suspect?”
I shook my head. “I want to know for sure before I tell him.”
“I understand. He’d only be disappointed if you told him and then it wasn’t true.” She took one of the pregnancy tests. “So do you want to do it now?”
I nodded, nerves fluttering in my stomach. Bibi led me to their guest bathroom. I walked in alone. I’d never mastered the talent to pee with other people in a room with me. Once I was done, I set both tests down on the edge of the washbasin and opened the door. Bibi wrapped her arm around my waist, as we both stared at the tests.
“I think it’s time,” she said after a few minutes.
“Okay.” I reached for the tests and with a deep breath, stared down at them. Both were positive. “I’m pregnant.”
Bibi hugged me tightly. “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you. Dante will be so proud when he finds out. He’s waited long enough for children and you’re finally giving them to him. Will you tell him today?”
I considered that. “I think I should get confirmation from my gynecologist. As you said, I should be absolutely sure before I tell him.” And the other reason was that I needed some time to get used to the idea myself. I’d always wanted kids, and Dante and I had never taken countermeasures, but now that I knew I would be having a baby in less than one year, I was hit by nerves.
“I couldn’t keep it a secret. Especially since Tommaso is so desperate for me to get pregnant.”
“Maybe we’ll be pregnant together. That would be great.”
She smiled. “Go on, call your doc.”
“I will,” I said with a laugh. She looked more elated than I did.
As usual I got an appointment for the next day. My gynecologist was associated with the Outfit, so I never had to wait long.
***
That evening when Dante and I sat down for dinner together, the truth was on the tip of my tongue. I was still feeling nauseous and didn’t eat more than a few bites of Zita’s delicious lasagna. My glass of wine stayed untouched and I could manage only few gulps of water. Dante peered at me over his wine. “Are you alright? You’ve barely touched your food.”