“And when did it become obvious that it wasn’t actually the next step for you?”
His jaw flexes and I wonder if I’m pushing too far. But he doesn’t tense up or pull away. He gives me an embarrassed look. “She cheated on me.”
“Oh.” That’s awful.
“She married the guy. He had me kicked out of the country. Super messy.”
“Wow.”
“We never would have gotten married. We couldn’t pick a date…we never lived together…I mostly feel like an idiot because it took being cheated on to make me realize she wasn’t the one for me.”
“I’m sorry she hurt you.”
“I’m not. Not anymore. It led me to you.”
“Still…”
He shifts me to the side and opens the pizza box. “No still. Really, it was a learning experience, nothing more.”
“What did you learn.”
He hands me a slice of pepperoni and mushroom and gives me a grin. “She’s not someone I could eat pizza with naked.”
I laugh, because we’re not naked. Yet. But there’s a kernel of truth there. I swallow hard. “Is that important to you?”
He licks a bit of pizza sauce off his thumb and grins as he leers at my boobs. “Feels pretty damn important, yeah.”
“God, you’re the dirtiest.” But I’m grinning too, because warmth is filling my chest and spilling down my arms. This is happiness. And neither of us have had nearly enough of that in our lives.
We eat in companionable silence, watching something on the TV but I’m not following it at all, and neither is he. I keep turning over in my head what he said.
“What else is important to you?” I finally ask.
“This is enough. This is plenty.”
“I know…” I take a deep breath. “But if I wanted to step outside my comfort zone and give you something else?”
His eyes light up. “Think I could keep my hands to myself if we went to a movie tomorrow night?”
“It would be a dark theatre. Why would you want to?”
“Is that a yes?”
“Depends what’s playing.” I reach for another piece of pizza and take a big-ass bite. “If nothing’s good, maybe we could go to the mall. Get fries and sit in the food court.”
He barks out a laugh. “So all the other kids in high school can see that we’re going steady?”
“Isn’t that what you want?”
He pinches the pizza out of my hand and pulls me on top of him, tugging the hand that he’s gripping all the way to his mouth. He sucks off the pizza grease, then keeps sucking until my eyes go soft and my breath goes funny.
“Yes, I want to go steady with you, Ali.”
Well, that’s f*ck
ing terrifying. I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Okay.”
“How close is my girlfriend to freaking out about the pizza sauce on her sheets?”
Less than I was before, because it makes my boyfriend happy, but I’m not going to give him that yet. That little bit of knowledge is just for me. I’d do anything to make him happy. Anything. And that’s just a few steps away from losing myself completely, which is so not the plan. I shrug. “This is why we’ve got washing machines, right?”
He can’t see the freakout in my head, thank God. He’s just looking at me with the best look on his face, and I make myself focus on that. It’s easier when he traces my bottom lip with his thumb.
Everything is easier when he’s touching me. Grounding me.
I swipe at his thumb with my tongue, inviting him into my mouth. His eyelids droop as he slowly presses his thumb over my lips. “I like calling you that. My girlfriend. Like it gives me all sorts of special privileges.”
I suck in response.
He growls.
I suck harder.
“Not that kind of special privilege, you minx.”
I let go of his thumb with a wet pop that makes me slick between the legs. “You sure you don’t want the boyfriend blow job?”
He groans. “How is it different?”
“I’ve been doing my Tumblr research.”
“God yes.”
I laugh as he falls back, his cock popping to attention. Kissing my way down his chest, I lick his nipple, then the line of hair down the furrow between his ridged abs. It’s narrow and sparse, then a little thicker right before I get to his erection. It smells like soap right now, but beneath it is a raw, masculine scent of skin and virility. Do all men smell this good? I’m guessing not.
And the fact that I don’t know—and, Lord help me, I may never know—turns me on like nothing else.
I kiss my way down his shaft, pausing at the head to lick the pearly drop of pre-come there. I’m quite sure other men don’t taste as good as him.
Sad to be other girls, then.
Awesome to be me.
“You taste yummy,” I whisper, and he groans helplessly. I grin. The power of a blow job. And Tumblr promises me that if I trail kisses down the bottom of his cock, all the way to his balls…