Oh please no. Please don’t take this away from me.
“I loved your mother very much, Ellie,” Gus said. “I loved your father too. I never really understood how I could do that to my friend, but I did. And your mother stayed on my mind ever since. I was still allowed to see you from time to time. You remember me around. But I could never be your father. I hope I can be now.”
I exhaled, smiling so wide that my face hurt. “You really are my father.”
“There was even a paternity test. Your father knew of course. He was a good man, Ellie, he really was. And I regret what I did but I don’t regret the consequences.”
“You sound a lot like Camden, there.”
“Camden is a good man too. That boy, he’s so in love with you that he can’t even see straight. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard he fought to get you back. He never gave up, even when he was knocked down. You were the most important thing in the world to him, you still are. I hope you can give your heart to him, I know how hard that is for you, to trust, to let go.”
I gave him a reassuring smile, his words about Camden inflating me with joy. “He has my heart. He knows it. At least I hope he does. I’ll keep giving it anyway. I love him.”
I want to spend my whole life with him. I want to marry him, I thought. But of course I didn’t say that.
He gave me a quick grin and stuffed a chip in his face, talking with his mouth full. “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. The boy drove me nuts for most of the trip to be honest. He just wouldn’t shut up about you. But he has moxie and I like that. You’re both perfect for each other. And if he ever wants to become my son-in-law,” he trailed off and looked over my shoulder. “Perhaps I should shut my big mouth now.” And in went another chip.
I turned in my seat to see Camden coming toward me. My god he was absolutely beautiful, knee-length cargo shorts, a wifebeater that showed off his muscles and colorful art, from wrist to collarbone. He still had a bandage over his gunshot wound on the shoulder and his face was marred by a few healing gashes but that only made him look more manly. That man would kill for me. He would die for me. And he would fuck me to death if I asked him.
I was tempted. What a way to go.
He stopped above us and smiled, dimples and white teeth illuminating his face in the setting sun. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
I shook my head, eager for him to join us, especially after I knew that Gus approved of him. I mean, how couldn’t he? This was a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life trying to make happy, trying to give him the life he deserved for the kind of good person he was.
Which is why I had to bring up a more serious topic, one we hadn’t discussed yet.
“So, what’s the plan after this,” I broached slowly as Camden sat back down beside me. “How do we get back Ben?”
Camden straightened up at the mention of his son’s name, his fingers gripping the end of the arm rests. He bit his lip, brows drawn together, and cast a furtive glance at Gus. Then he said, “I don’t know yet.”
Gus tilted his head sympathetically. “You’re still a wanted criminal in the USA. Maybe not as wanted as you were before. It’s probably all blown over. But if you’re ever caught by the police for something, you’ll be in big shit. If you’re ever recognized by anyone, you’re in big shit. If Sophia ever sees you again …”
“I’m in big shit,” Camden filled in.
“Or you’re dead.” Gus rested his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together. “So we have to do what we can to avoid that. You know this will be the hardest part, even harder than getting Ellie back. Sophia won’t give you Ben. You’ll never be able to get custody. You’ll never be able to see him. You’ll never get visitation rights. It’s either you take him from her or leave him with her. There is no in between here.”
“No grey,” I whispered, a sinking feeling in my chest.
“That’s right,” Gus said. “No grey. These aren’t the choices you’ll want to make but you’ll have to make them. Can you go on your way and let Sophia have him?”
“No!” Camden cried out, attracting a few looks from the patrons around us. He quickly shot them a sheepish look and then lowered his voice, shaking his head. “No. I can’t. She wasn’t a very good mother before. That’s when all our problems started. When she was on drugs and never at home. Now I know she’s involved with her brothers. She’s part of that gang. Fuck, she used Ben, her son, our son, to lure me in, to get money, to hand me over to her brothers. They were going to kill me, in front of him if they could. It’s made me sick every time I think about where he is right now, and what he’s doing. I can’t let him grow up in that life. I won’t let that happen.”