Blurred

“I looked into Jason Holt. He’s not involved in the case but when I crossed his name with Josh Hart’s I found that Hart was one of his informants years ago. Did you know that?”


My head spins. Has Jason been involved the whole time? “No, I didn’t. But thanks for letting me know.”

I leave another message for Caleb. Fuck, I need someone to talk to. I want to call my sister but she took Trent to Hawaii a few days ago. Having no place else to go, I end up outside of S’belle’s place.

I smile when I see her car parked out front—maybe my luck is finally changing. At the metal gate that leads into the courtyard, I debate ringing the bell but I don’t have to hesitate for long. She emerges with that dick of a boss following her. She’s carrying a basket of flowers and he holds the gate open for her. They look pretty cozy. I guess there was more going on between them—just not what I thought it was.

Turning on my heels I head back to Beck’s. The walk feels so much longer than I remember it being on my way here. When I finally open the door, I’m ready for a drink.

“Haven’t seen you a while,” the bartender jokes. “Decided to come back for an early one after all?”

“Something like that. I’ll have a scotch. No ice.”

She looks thoughtful for a moment. “Sure, Ben, no problem.”

I see something different in her eyes and wonder if it’s pity.

“Join me?”

She leans forward setting two glasses in front of me. “These are on me. Shhh, don’t tell the boss.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I slam mine back as soon as the bottle clears the glass. I set it down. “Thank you.”

She refills the glass and we do this move two more times.

She eyes me. “Rough day, I take it.”

“Something like that,” I say again. I’m not in the mood for chitchat and she catches on right away because she sets the bottle next me and leaves me alone.

After an hour passes, I’m ready to talk. The joint is dead, so I call her over. She winds around the bar and has a seat next to me and I spill it all. With whisky-numbed lips, I just can’t seem to shut up. I tell her about the courtroom and the danger to Dahl and how relieved I am the guy got put away. How there’s a girl I want nothing more than to be with but that I blew it. She listens, but never says anything. When a few customers enter the bar, she gets back to work. I sit there with my hands on my head just thinking about how the fuck I got to this place. It’s the same question I’ve asked a thousand times.

My phone rings and again I think it must be Caleb. I slide it out of my front pocket. The screen flashes Kimberly. Fuck me! A name I wasn’t expecting . . . my girlfriend from New York City, or maybe I should say my ex-girlfriend.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

“Hey, Alex. Or should I say Ben?”

“Fuck, that’s harsh. I called you a few times. You never called me back.”

Her voice lowers but takes on a serious tone. “Yes, you did. Drunk every time.”

“You sound drunk yourself right now.”

“Well, I just might be. I wasn’t ready to talk to you then.”

“And you are now?”

“As a matter of fact I am.” Her words sound even more slurred than mine.

Silence occupies the line for a few moments too long, but I can hear her breathing. “I’ve been in LA for a while.”

“How long is a while?”

“I actually got a job here.”

“That’s fucking fantastic news. What are you doing?”

“Managing Sound Music Magazine.”

I turn around on the stool and almost fall off. “Aerie Daniels’s job?”

“No, I work with her. I moved here in January to prep the new launch. I’ll be managing the entertainment news side. We publish our first edition this summer.”

“So why are you just getting around to calling me?”

“Shitty day. Was looking for someone to have a drink with me and your name popped into my mind.”

“Where are you staying?” I ask in a low whisper.

“I’m in Marina Del Ray at the Palazzo Apt 310.”

I clear my throat. “Can I come over?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounds familiar and wanting.

“I’ll be there soon.”

I head back to where I parked. The night air assaults me as I mount my bike and I feel instantly sobered. I eye the traffic ahead. Red taillights glow for miles. I turn onto Fairfax a little too sharply and almost lose my balance. Maybe I shouldn’t be driving? I keep the speed low throughout the short ten-mile ride making the ride easy and manageable. When I come to a screeching halt at a light, I think about Kimberly—how I felt about her. I really did have feelings for her, but I lost sight of them when I thought I’d have Dahl again. Yeah, it was shitty of me.

A sudden twinge of guilt floods me for all the women I’ve been with since I’ve seen her last. I swallow it down and try not to think about it as I enter the elevator of her swanky Mediterranean-style apartment building. But when I knock on the door the guilt returns. The moment she opens it, I forget about everything. She looks fucking beautiful. A slinky dress, no shoes, hair down—gorgeous.

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