Blood and Kisses

chapter 19



The demon rose strong in him, but he couldn’t stop. His body cried out for hers. He had to have her. He took her mouth again before trailing tiny kisses from the corner of her lips to her chin and down her neck. He bit lightly at the sensitive base of her throat, careful not to break the skin. She clutched his head to her and her excitement fed him, inspiring him to greater heights.

He opened her borrowed robe. The room was as bright as day to him, and he relished the sight of the intimate curves and hollows of her body, the dark rose nipples, the downy hair guarding her sex. He struggled from his clothing, leaving it in a heap upon the carpet. He could tell by the way her eyes grazed his body that her eyes had grown accustomed to the dark. Her breathing was heavy and uneven. She liked what she saw. There was a hint of fear there, too, and he remembered she was a virgin, but he had forgotten why he cared. He burned.

Nobility forgotten, he took her in his arms and brought her bare body against his. He rubbed his rough cheek on her satiny shoulder. The exquisite press of her nipples against his chest was more than he could stand. He drew her back to the bed and picked her up, setting her on top of him. Her moist center kissed his thigh, calling to his hand. He gently parted her damp folds and found her small nub. Her head fell back and she cried out. He stole the sound with his mouth, swallowing it when he recaptured her lips.



She’d thought his mouth magic, but his hands. Heavens. His hands.

He rubbed her, and she thought she might explode with delight. She liquefied. There wasn’t a bone or a cartilage left in her body. The swollen recesses of her body yearned for more, and he didn’t disappoint, easing a finger inside her. The vibrating touch of his thumb and the slick stroke of his finger threatened to send her staggering into a mysterious world of sensation unlike any she’d ever known. She ripped her mouth away from his and offered him her breasts. His feverish lips found the pink tip of one full globe, and she glimpsed that other world for one heavenly moment.

His hands fell away. Deprived of her goal, she clutched at his shoulders, unwilling to let him back away now, as he had before. “No,” she said. “Don’t stop!”

“I won’t.” He rolled them over until she lay beneath him and his erection found the throbbing ache his hand had left. She felt her eyes widen as he filled her. He was so hard, so thick. There was a tiny stinging pain, but it dissolved in the sea of pleasure he roused as he began to move.



Gideon rested on his elbows so he could see her face; her eyelids were half-lowered over her sparkling eyes, her full lips open in a blissful smile. Her gasping moans were music to his ears. Her head rolled back exposing her neck. Gods. How he longed to drink from her.

Do it, the monster hissed. Gideon forced him back. He would not hurt her.

At least not now. The demon got in one final word before Gideon conquered him, stuffing him back in his iron cage.

Thalia sighed and moved her slender hips, pulling him into the cradle of her thighs and he forgot his struggle. Nothing existed but the joy of their union. He took his time, reading the expression on her lovely face. Taking her to the apex of pleasure and then bringing her back, again and again. Finally he could hold back no longer, he lost control, driving into her as the tight clench of her muscles impelled him over the edge.



Thalia rested her cheek on Gideon’s sleek chest. She resisted the impulse to nibble his golden skin. Aftershocks still rippled through her, and already she wanted more. She felt her face heat and buried it in Gideon’s side. She’d never even imagined it could be like this. She leaned up on one slim elbow to look at his amazing face, and opened her mouth to tell him how much joy he had given her, then stopped. He was asleep.

She grinned, nestled into the shelter of his strong arms, and slept as well.

The brown eyes in front of him were wide. The expression in them shocked, as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened. Her startled cry still died away in the hot, parched air. Gideon pulled free his curved blade. Inanna grabbed her stomach.

She stood bent over for a moment and put out a graceful, accusing hand. Blood dyed her palm and fingers like henna on a bride.

Her eyes changed color. The velvety brown he’d compared to polished agate became the sparkling blue of a sunny tropical sea. Now it wasn’t Inanna standing there, her arm outstretched, begging for mercy.

It was Thalia.

Her face was bleached white with pain. Her body shook. Tears spilled from her eyes and streaked her lovely face.

She collapsed, a sapling slain by a violent summer storm.

Blood pooled on the thick carpets, streaming into the thirsty sand.

He wiped his stained blade and left her without a backward glance.

And it began again.

What had he done?

Gideon opened his eyes and looked over at Thalia. She lay on her side, one hand pillowing her rosy cheek like a child. The dream faded, but its ominous message gripped him, twisting his stomach into a knot. He raised his hand and glided it an inch above her shoulder and down to her hip, reassuring himself that this was real. She was here. She was safe.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her temple, her scent rose to his nose, musky and sweet. He wanted her again. His body was already hardening in response. He didn’t think he could ever get enough of her.

He wanted more than just sex, though. She warmed him like the distantly remembered sun, banishing the cold that had encased him for so long. He wanted to bask in her warmth, to bathe in the sunny rays of her attention, but all those reasons he had dismissed in the heat of passion leaped back.

Yes, he’d been able to control the monster. This time. But the heat that warmed him also drew the monster. He couldn’t take the risk that he might hurt her. And even if he could control himself, she would age while he stayed young. Sure as the sun rose each morning, he would lose her, and when he did...

“Gideon?” Thalia awoke, a radiant smile on her face. He turned away and began to pull on his clothes.

If he looked at her, he might weaken.

“Gideon, what’s wrong?”

“This can’t happen again.”

“What? Why not? I’m not asking for a lifetime commitment.” Thalia held out a beseeching hand, reminding him hauntingly of his nightmare. He could hear the stunned hurt in her voice.

He hardened his heart. This was the way it had to be.



Thalia studied his rigid back, her throat tight with distress. She knew this couldn’t last, but she’d thought he might at least consider an affair. “Why can’t we just enjoy what we have?” Thalia was proud of the steadiness of her voice while inside she felt herself shatter into a million tiny shards each smaller than the last. Perhaps it had been pity. The thought sent an icy wave of pain slicing through her.

“Because you are a poisonblood.”

Thalia flinched. His words were like a fist squeezing her heart. She pressed her lips together, swallowing a gasp.

“And I am a monster.”

“No.” She reached out to him.

“Yes!” One powerful hand raised to forestall any further interruption; he turned away from her, an imposing shadow in the dim room. “There’s so much you don’t know about me.” He seemed to go inward, moving away from her toward the dressing table, his face reflected in its large round mirror. His eyes were so dark they looked like deep pits in the planes of his face. “As a human, I committed acts that would disgust you. I disgust myself.”

Taken aback by the vehemence in his tone, Thalia bit her lip. Tears seared the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Her hand covered her mouth, partially obscuring her mark. The man’s lament, “It’s not you. It’s me.” What they really meant was, of course, “It’s you.” The ache in her chest robbed her lungs of air.

Gideon took a step closer to the mirror. His eyes met hers in the glass before falling away. “I was born in the Middle East in the days before Babylon, before Sumer. We called ourselves the Kurut. You won’t find us in any history book.” He smiled without humor. “We weren’t important enough. My name was not even Gideon then.

“I was the son of a powerful king, but I was a sickly child, and my father had little fondness for me.

“His reign was tumultuous. He was forced to execute several of his relatives for roles in various plots to steal his crown and his life.” Gideon shook his head. “Maybe he thought me a threat. In any case, he sent me to war at only thirteen.” He gave a short, bitter laugh. “I suspect he was hoping the rigors of army life would kill me. Instead, I grew strong.

“I took on any challenge, determined to be the best. The army seethed with rivalries and I faced many foes. In the beginning, I arranged to have them disappear. Later I killed them in combat on the battlefield. In a few years, I led our army.

“With me at the helm, my father’s empire flourished and so did I. When I returned, at the age of eighteen, to Elilu, our capital city, my physical stature equaled my political power.” He sighed. “After foiling an assassination attempt sponsored by my father, I brought the army to the city and deposed him.

“I had him paraded through the streets before I ordered him beheaded in front of his former subjects, and his head displayed on the city gates. A message that, if they conspired against me, even my closest companions would not be safe.” He rested his forehead against the glass.

Thalia let out a shuddering breath. The pain in her chest eased. He truly believed he was a monster, but she knew differently. Nothing he could say would convince her he was anything but a man who had grown up in cruel and chaotic times. His body language, as much as his stark words, revealed a pain that went bone-deep.

She ran to him and put her hand on his strong shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

Stung by the snub, she let it fall to her side and stood silently behind him.



Gideon felt as if another spoke with his voice. He’d never intended to tell her the whole story, but now that he’d begun, it gushed from him like blood from a wound. He found himself reliving the pain and isolation of those days.

“That’s only the beginning. Like my father, my family was my greatest threat. By the time I was twenty-three, I had quashed five different plots against me, the last led by my own half-sister.” He exhaled violently as he remembered the anguish of that betrayal, but the words spilled on.

“I held my remaining family at arms-length, and poured myself into expanding and improving my empire. Many paid for my ambitions with their blood. I had roads built, libraries, palaces, monuments. Elilu became the crown jewel of the area, but it was never enough. My kingdom was as real to me as any human, but I was still alone.”

It had all been so long ago. Longer than a hundred lifetimes, but he remembered it all as if it were yesterday. The broad tree-lined streets of Elilu, the stone buildings gleaming white under the hot sun.

He had planned every avenue, every side street. But as much as he’d loved it, it had never been enough.



“And then, I fell in love.”

Thalia stiffened. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this. “Gideon.”

“No. Let me finish.” His eyes took on a faraway look. “Inanna was as beautiful as the goddess for which she was named. Her skin was the color of cream with just a drop of honey. Her hair was like the finest silk, her eyes, agate dark. She breathed life into my universe and taught me to trust again. She was everything good and pure, or so I thought, and she soon became as necessary to me as the beating of my heart.”

A single tear slipped past Thalia’s control, and she dashed it away with the back of her hand. Was it vital to the story that he tick off a laundry list of his love’s superior qualities in quite so much detail?

“Despite the camp followers and concubines I had known since I’d reached adulthood, and the generous offers of neighboring kings, I had never taken a wife.”

She didn’t think she needed to hear this part either.

“I arranged our betrothal and planned a wedding. It was a spectacular event. Elilu abounded with visitors and foreign dignitaries who had come for the wedding. I stood there in front of the huge crowd, and with the greatest joy, proclaimed my love for Inanna, and she proclaimed her love for me.

“But as soon as the ceremony was complete, a courier rode into town with grim news. A neighboring king had decided to take my wedding as an invitation to attack, and rapidly advanced in the north. This man was Akos.” His name sounded like a curse. “I had no choice but to ride out immediately. I spent my wedding night alone with my army on the road.

“Days passed. Seasons. A year. I yearned for Inanna every night and did not sully myself in the arms of another. Finally, I could not wait any longer and I sent for her.

“At last, we had our wedding night. She was all I’d imagined, her sweet purity as rare as the precious diamonds of the Indus. I was madly, blindly in love.

“I should have sent her back to Elilu, but I thought surely this conflict would be over swiftly. After all, I had defeated Akos many times in the past. He and his people were little more than nomads.

“This time, however, something was different. Akos was relentless. He met every move I made with a decisive move of his own. It was as if he knew my plans in advance, and I soon realized he had a spy in my camp. But who, I didn’t know.

“One evening, as I strolled through the tents of my army, listening to the sounds of the men talking and laughing, the strains of music rising from around the campfires, I heard what I thought was a struggle in a tent belonging to one of the camp followers.”

Thalia held her breath. She thought she knew what he’d found there.

“I entered the tent and found my beloved wife naked in Akos’ arms. There was no struggle. My supposedly virginal wife rode him, her pleasure all too clear.” He’d told most of the story in a flat, emotionless monotone, but he stumbled over these words, his voice taking on a rough intensity that rang with remembered pain. “I drew my sword. Akos threw her off and fled through a slit in the back of the tent.

“I lunged after him. She drew a dagger from beneath the pallet and leaped at me. Seconds later, I pierced her with my sword. She fell to the ground writhing, blood flowing from her dying form. I left her there in a pool of blood.”

Thalia flinched at the image the unvarnished statement evoked, but Gideon continued on without pause.

“I found a horse and took off after Akos, my mind a haze of fury.

“I caught up with him at his clan’s campsite. He ordered his men to attack, and I hacked my way through them as if they were cordwood.

“I looked down as the last of his men fell from my sword to find that I had slaughtered twenty men, including a young boy of perhaps thirteen.

“And in my rage, I had killed Akos without even knowing it, or so I believed.”



Gideon could never forget that moment. He’d stood, his clothes drenched with blood, in the midst of the gory carnage he had created, and felt nothing.

“I heard a sound behind me, and spun just in time to see the pike that impaled me, and the person who wielded it. Inanna.

“Everything went dark. When I awakened, she was leaning over me, her mouth red with my blood. She told me she’d made me a vampire like herself.” He turned toward Thalia, but couldn’t look her in the eye, and turned back to the dressing table.

He bent over the table, his hands gripping the smooth maple surface for support before going on. “I’d heard tales of such creatures, but had dismissed them as the superstitious babbling of ignorants. She claimed that she’d loved me when we’d married, but soon after I left, Akos had approached her. He’d wooed her with poems and love songs.” Gideon snorted. “While I’d chased his army, he’d been at my own home. She said I’d driven her into Akos’ arms, that I loved Kurut more than I loved her.

“I will always remember the final words she said to me that night. ‘You will be condemned to walk eternally in the night, to feast on the life blood of others, to watch everyone you love crumble to dust, and everything you have built be swallowed by the sands.’”

He closed his eyes, reliving the moment. “I should have faced the dawn then, but I was too much of a coward. I still am.” He shook his head.

“I couldn’t go home. I roamed the Middle East, working as a mercenary. If my employers wondered why they never saw me during the day, they never voiced it.

“In the beginning, I thought Inanna a fool, her revenge an empty joke. I reveled in my new powers. I was faster, stronger, my senses a thousand times keener. I barely noticed the passing of the years.

“Then, one day I woke up and realized fifty years had passed. I returned to Kurut to find Inanna’s curse had come true. My family was long dead, and the desert had reclaimed Elilu. It was only then that I understood all I had lost, and not what I had become, but what I had always been. A monster.”

Gideon swiveled to confront Thalia. Now she knew everything. He examined the delicate lines of her face. The feeble light that leaked from the gap in the curtains silvered the curves of her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose. Gods, she was beautiful. And unlike his late wife, as lovely inside as out. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. A spasm of sorrow seized his heart. He longed to go to her, to comfort her, but he couldn’t.

His rejection may hurt her, but it was for the best. She deserved someone whose hands were clean, someone who had no inner demon. Despite his vows of love to Inanna, he had killed her. The fact that she hadn’t died didn’t change the reality that he’d run her through. He was already responsible for the death of one woman he’d loved. He wouldn’t be responsible for another.

And even if he managed to keep her safe from himself, what was to keep him safe from her? She couldn’t be turned. She would eventually leave him through death.

He shuddered to think what devastation might be unleashed, if grief caused him to lose control. No. It was better this way. Better to end things before either of them was in too deep.

Anguish burned in his chest. He could lie to her, but not to himself. For him, it was already too late. But it didn’t matter. He was too weak. He couldn’t risk what might happen when he lost her.

Thalia’s eyes were bleak. “What happened to Inanna?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since. She must have gone back to bury Akos and discovered that he lived. I believed I’d killed him, so he must have been mortally wounded. She had to be the one that turned him.”