A breath. A blink. Time stopped as Istvan and I stared at each other. And just as fast, it broke.
Surging for it, Istvan’s boot kicked it out of my way, driving the blade into Simon’s skin. The little boy cried out in pain and shock.
Warwick and I froze.
My gaze snapped up to the knife edge cutting into Simon’s neck, the blood trailing down, soaking into his t-shirt.
“Back up! Touch it, and I kill him,” Istvan snarled, desperation shaking his hand wrapped around the knife, his movement more frantic. “Don’t for a moment think I won’t.”
“You do...” Warwick’s body vibrated with untapped fury, his teeth clenching together. “And I will tear you apart bit by bit, making sure you feel every single moment.”
“I said back up,” Istvan yelled, pushing the blade in deeper. Simon gulped, as he tried to hide the terror, struggling to be stoic like his uncle.
Warwick stepped back, his nose flaring.
“You have been a thorn in my side from the moment I took you in.” Istvan adjusted Simon, inching closer to the nectar. “Little did I know the real truth your father was keeping from me.”
My attention snapped up to Istvan, something in my chest curling with dread.
“I thought it was the pills making you different. That changed you... but it wasn’t.” He sneered. “Benet knew what you were all along. Is it why he was in alliance with Povstat, his brother Mykel?”
I sucked in, my shoulders going back at hearing Istvan reveal my uncle’s identity and relation to me.
Of course. “Tracker.” My lip lifted. “Wise to trust someone who so easily turns on his last leader?”
Istvan’s head went back in a laugh. “You think I didn’t know the whole time about Mykel? Who he was?” He tilted his head at me in pity. “Oh, Brexley, so naïve. I knew your father, even unbeknownst to Andris, was working with fae and fae sympathizers, starting a coup against me.”
“What?” I jolted.
“I had Kalaraja follow your father, found the secret cabin he had in Gödöllő. How do you think we were so prepared to attack you the night you went there?”
Realization dropped in my stomach, burning like acid.
“Your father gave up everything for you. Turned his back on his morals, his people... me.”
That was what Istvan hated the most. My father no longer wanted to follow him, no longer thought Istvan was a capable leader.
A sneer came up on Istvan’s face. “So, I killed him.”
The world stopped on a pin. No longer could I see or hear anything around me.
“What?” I whispered, my breath going in and out, barely touching my lungs.
“I was the one who sliced his throat on the battlefield that night. His last image as he choked on his own blood was my face. So easy. Everyone assumed he was killed by fae, which only made the troops more bloodthirsty to destroy the fae. It worked out perfectly.”
He killed my father. He destroyed my entire world.
Everything I believed in was set on fire, burning me up with unbridled grief and fury. Every day I lived with Istvan, he looked at me and knew. Every tear I shed for my father, the heartbreak and grief... it was all because of him.
The level of betrayal had no bottom, an endless pit of rage and hate, bubbling up like black lava, scorching everything in its wake.
“Kovacs...” Warwick spoke low with no emotion, only warning.
Everything around me felt far off, as if I were in a snow globe, shielded from the world. The call to the nectar laced and weaved through me, tangling me into it, giving me no choice. Singing into my veins like a siren, the song lured and drew me into its power. To destroy him. To level everything.
All the pain I had hidden away and ignored roared up with a vengeance. Suffering, agony, sorrow, pain... Istvan had caused so much of it. Even now. Through my lashes, I gazed over the area around the Elizabeth Lookout Tower. Mykel’s army clashed with HDF as more inmates and HDF soldiers spilled from the tunnel.
Simon sucked in as Istvan tipped the blade deeper into his throat, snapping me back to Markos, his eyes wild. Desperation made people unpredictable. Dangerous.
But I was the most dangerous thing of all.
Moving, I gave neither one of them time to react as I swiped up the nectar, the power instantly pulsing in my hand. Power shot up from my gut as if the nectar summoned it, rage taking over as my howl impaled the sky.
Wind wailed through the trees, breaking the branches, twisting in the sky like a hurricane. Thunder rolled; lightning crackled in the clear evening sky.
“Kovacs!” I heard Warwick yell at me, like he was trying to pull me back. Hold on to what was left of my sanity.
I had none left.
All I felt was wrath.
“I love you so much, Brex.” The memory of my father’s voice spoke in my head. “There’s nothing I won’t do for you. You are my entire soul.”
The picture that sat on Istvan’s desk, the strain on my father’s face, came back to me with more clarity. Did Istvan keep the picture as a cruel taunt to me? A sick memento of my father? All the times he made snide remarks about my father’s loyalty.
“Know if anything happens, I will always look out for you. There is nothing I won’t do to keep you safe. Your uncle is watching over you too. We will all protect you.”
My father knew. He understood what might come for him.
Not fae, but Istvan.
Wrath rolled through me, impaling and devouring, the weight around my neck a tiresome burden, which was supposed to keep me contained. Though it was nothing to me. A burdensome ornament. A decoration.
My fingers curled over the goblin metal collar. Muscles flexing, I yanked on it, the metal groaning under the stress.
“What are you doing?” Istvan jerked back, throat bobbing. A loud grunt strained my vocals and face as I pulled harder. The choker snapped, clanking to the ground. He yelped, stepping back.
Wind whipped at my strands, lightning zipping across the sky, kissing the tips of the trees. I feared the power, the magic I felt bubbling inside for a long time. I had kept away because I was afraid to fully accept it. To test the limits of my magic.
What a dark Druid and light Seelie queen could create. Not good and bad, only gray.
I wasn’t afraid anymore.
There were no limits.
I was everything and nothing. And nobody in the world, present or past, was the same as me. I was born in war, created from magic, constructed from a queen, and conceived from a curse.
I walked the line of life and death.
Took life and raised it.
I was The Grey.
The wisps of ghosts from afar heeded their queen’s call, ready for combat and to defend me. The nectar in my hand seared through my nerves. The highest high burned with bliss as it overtook me. Power consumed and devoured. Every broken piece inside me forged together, standing stronger against the flames, never bending to others.
My gaze went to Istvan. Terror opened his eyes wide, his fear tasting like candy on my tongue.
He killed my father.
I never got to say goodbye.
He took Andris from me.
The deep betrayal, grief, and anger carved into my chest. He destroyed the best part of me. Took my family, my security, home... love. Ling, Maddox, Nora, Albert, Zuz—he took them all by his hand or mine by force. So much death, torture, and agony originated from him. He conditioned me to become the very being he trembled in front of now.
All the pain and misery I had been stuffing away erupted, spilling out in waves of grief. I felt every death and loss over again; the emotions piercing me so deeply, my insides twisted as if they were burning into embers.
“Kovacs!” I heard Warwick’s voice break through, the intrusion only pissing me off more. Slamming the door closed between us, the screams and cries of more being hurt around me exploded inside me. One of those screams could be Mykel or Eliza... someone else dead because of Istvan.
A bolt of lightning cracked down close to Markos, the wind howling louder.
“Brexley, no!” Another voice bellowed; Tad’s bowed figure hobbled up into my eye line. Ignoring him, I squeezed down on the nectar, dropping any barriers to it.
It rushed inside me, filling me with so much power time no longer existed. White light burst from me, the ghosts taking an order I no longer had to speak.
Attack. Kill.
They acted quickly, my invisible soldiers reaping souls, reveling in the pained and scared screams from the victims they claimed, cut down by unseen hands.
Another lightning strike hit the ground, leaving charred marks in its wake, energy impaling out of my body like daggers heading for Istvan, for anything in my path. The nectar seared me from the inside, burning its way through every vein and muscle, cauterizing what was left of my pain.
It scorched.
It destroyed.