chapter 19
Audrey sat on the couch, munching on a turkey sandwich. She’d wanted the veggie but figured a baby needed protein. Right? Man, she needed to get ahold of a few pregnancy books. Last time she hadn’t been pregnant long enough to really study the situation or get a feel for it, so right now, confusion ruled her mind. Although, the turkey tasted delicious. She extended her legs onto the coffee table and watched Nate pace the room.
He scrubbed both hands down his face. “A boy?”
“Yep.” Audrey took another bite. She wasn’t sure about the tomatoes—they tasted too soft.
“A boy? Oh no.” Nate paced faster, pure panic on his face.
“I know.” Maybe she’d have texture problems while pregnant, because she definitely didn’t want the tomatoes.
“I mean, I’d love a boy. Or a girl. But in this case, a boy—”
“I know.” Yep. Audrey took out the remaining tomato and tossed it on the paper wrapping on the table. The commander would want to study and train a girl, but to have a boy with the size and strength of the Gray brothers? Yeah. He’d never let that kid go.
“Wait a minute.” Nate shook his head. “Why do you trust them? You could be pregnant with anybody’s kid.” His eyes widened. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
Yeah, he did. But it was a good question, and she’d already thought it through. “I think the baby is yours because you’d impregnated me before, the first and only time a Gray had impregnated anybody. It makes sense they’d try again. You know how many times they’d tried to impregnate surrogates with the Gray brothers’ specimens. The commander is desperate to have a next generation of Gray boys.”
“Why?” Nate asked, his voice hoarse.
“Because you’re the most successful experiment they’d ever conducted.” Audrey lowered her voice in sympathy. Now wasn’t the time to sugarcoat the truth, even though she wanted to ease his pain. Now was about the baby and not either one of them. Man, she loved turkey all of a sudden.
“I’m not an experiment.” Fire lit his eyes.
“I agree, and neither is this baby.” She tried to clear her cloudy mind. “But that’s not how they see you or junior here, and we can’t forget that.”
Nate whirled toward her, his eyes a wild stormy gray, dark grooves lining the sides of his mouth. “How are you so calm?”
She shrugged, finishing off the sandwich. “I had the long car ride back to freak out, and well, I think I may still be in shock.” The satisfying numbness surrounding her brain felt good, and she didn’t want to let it go. The second that calmness disappeared, she’d freak out like never before. Her feet hit the floor. “I have to stay calm for the baby.”
Nate dropped to his haunches, his hands warming her knees. “You’re right. Calm. That’s good.”
Poor guy couldn’t even talk in complete sentences. She reached out and cupped his whiskered jaw. “Take a breath, Nate. We’ll protect this baby with everything we have.” Nobody was going to hurt the little guy.
“I know.” Determination and something else lit his dark eyes.
What was that? Oh. Fear. She’d never seen Nate afraid of anything. Ever. Drawing on a store of strength she hadn’t realized she owned, she fastened her hands over his shoulders. Hard. “Trust me. Nothing is going to happen to this baby. Period.”
He nodded, the fear vanishing and leaving a deadly light.
She shivered.
“We need to plan.” He strode out of the room and returned with a glass of milk. “I think you’re supposed to drink this.”
She hated milk unless it was on cereal. “Sure.” Taking the glass, she set it down on the coffee table. He wouldn’t notice in his current state. “Oh, hey.” She reached for her briefcase and drew out a picture of the ultrasound Dr. Zycor had made for her. “Here’s a picture of the little Gray guy.”
Nate took the picture, his hand visibly shaking. “He’s real. I mean, I can hear his heartbeat, but… he’s real.”
“You can hear his heartbeat?”
“Yes. Thought it was the cat’s.”
“Yeah.” She took another piece of paper from the bag. “Here are the results of the amnio that show he’s a boy and that he’s yours.” She’d insisted on the report in case her mother and the commander were lying in order to trap Nate. “It’s conclusive.” Of course, they could’ve easily doctored the test.
“I know.” Nate scanned the paper. “I’m not sure how I know, but now that I can focus on him in there, I can tell he’s mine. Don’t ask me how.” He shrugged. “Or maybe I just want him to be mine. I don’t know.”
Audrey nodded. The Gray brothers harbored gifts nobody could explain, so why question it? Besides, deep in her heart, she knew the baby was his. Sometimes you just knew, and the explanation from Isobel had made sense. “Besides that, I accessed the secured headquarters and found some interesting information.” She tugged out the printout from her mother’s office.
Nate stilled, every muscle along his chest clenching visibly beneath his T-shirt. “You what?”
Audrey sat up straighter. “Um, I broke into my mother’s computer.”
Nate’s gaze lasered in on her, making her feel like a specimen squirming on a slide. “How did you gain access to her office?”
“I, ah, stole her key card.” Audrey swallowed, but once she started confessing, she couldn’t stop. “I knocked out the doctor and stole his, too. After that, I just went through secured doors until a soldier found me and escorted me to my mother’s office.”
Nate paled. He went from bronze to ghostlike in less than a second. “You knocked out a doctor.” Lurching over to the overstuffed chair, Nate fell like an anchor. “Then you snuck into a secured area.” He dropped his head into his hands. “That’s where a soldier found you.”
“Um, yeah.” The roast beef sandwich in the other room seemed to be calling her name. Hopefully there weren’t any tomatoes on it.
“Are. You. Crazy?” Nate kept his head down and his voice low, but a tenor of raw fire whipped through the words.
“Maybe a little.” Audrey wiped her hand over her head. Based on her parentage alone, there was a fair to middle chance she had some insanity in her. “Don’t panic here, Nate. The good news is that I’m fine, and I found information about the computer program that will deactivate your codes.”
Man, she was way too calm. Must still be the shock. Plus, even after eating that entire sandwich, she was still hungry. “Relax.”
“Relax?” He leaped to his feet, steam all but shooting from his ears. “You’re incredibly lucky you’re pregnant right now, because I’d like nothing better than to flip you over my knee and paddle your butt. You’d be so sore you couldn’t sit until Christmas.”
“You’re mad?” What in the world was wrong with him? She’d found valuable information, and he hadn’t even glanced at it. Anger whirled through her like a tornado, so she stood. “Listen, buddy. I did what I had to do, and you’d better get on board. We’re in this fight together, and you’re gonna need me to get you access. Deal with it.”
“Deal with it?” Red spread across his rugged cheekbones.
Yeah, he was bewildered and pissed.
“Yes.” Audrey blew out air.
“Oh, baby. You’re on your way to a safe house the second we pack you a bag.” His voice lowered to a softness with no give.
“Think, Nate.” She drew in air, trying to keep from punching him in the face. Could the baby hear yet? If so, she didn’t want him hearing her become violent. “I’m your way in to save your brothers. That’s your goal.”
He shook his head in slow motion, his gaze tapping hers, raw determination stamping an already hard face. “You and the baby are my only goal. If you don’t understand that one simple fact, then you never really understood me.”
She stepped back. Yes, she’d expected him to go caveman protective, but she had underestimated the primal being at the core of Nathan. “What about your brothers?”
“The second I get you safe, I’ll figure out a way to get the codes. But nothing happens until you’re secured.”
“Nate.” She drew on every ounce of patience she’d cultivated through the years. “We’re in this together. I need you alive as much as I need this baby to live. Do you honestly think I can protect him myself while on the run from the commander?” Yeah, she was smart, and she had contingency plans. But the commander had an army, and someday, he’d find her. “I need you alive. I need the Gray brothers alive.” She needed all the help she could get.
“Dean brothers.” Nate still hadn’t moved, but she knew he could launch at any second.
“Huh?” She frowned.
“Dean brothers. We took a last name years ago—only family gets to know it. That kid in there? He’s a Dean.” Nate eyed her stomach with a fierce possessiveness.
“Good name.” Great name, in fact. Much better than hers, considering she shared it with a sociopath.
“Glad you like it. You’ll be wearing it soon.” Nate finally glanced down at the paper in his hands.
She coughed and fought the urge to fall to the sofa. “Excuse me?”
Nate answered without stopping reading. “I, ah, think we should get married.”
Well, if that wasn’t the most romantic proposal on record. “Why? What does a piece of paper have to do with anything, Nate Dean?” Yeah, it felt good to slap a last name on that one.
He stilled, vulnerability digging hollows under his cheekbones. “Nothing, really. But, I mean, I would’ve wanted my parents to be married, if I’d had parents. I mean, right?”
This side of him tore her apart. All of a sudden she could see the lost little boy who just wanted a family and didn’t want to learn how to kill. “I guess. How about we think about it?” She shrugged, her mind whirling.
“There’s a good chance I won’t make it past the next few weeks.” His voice lowered with pain. “I’d like for the kid to know I wanted him and gave him a name. That he mattered.”
Audrey lifted her head as comprehension dawned. Nate had always wanted to matter, which is probably why he’d taken such good care of his brothers. “This kid will know he matters. I promise.”
“Okay. Good.” He glanced down at the paper again. “This is excellent. It describes the computer program that sends out the wireless code to deactivate the chips.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t find the actual code.” Yet.
“This is a good start, and Shane will be able to duplicate the program.” Nathan tossed the paper onto the chair. He scrubbed both hands down his face. “We have to deactivate these chips. We just have to.”
* * *
Well past midnight, from behind the rainy window, Nathan scouted the area outside the apartment, the cold metal from his gun offering comfort in his hand. He wanted to go outside and start taking out the men watching his family, but for now, he needed to stay close and not tip his hand. Soon, he’d wreak havoc. In the other room, two heartbeats thrummed. One slower as Audrey slept, and one faster. The baby. His baby.
He’d already searched on the Internet the correct speed of a baby’s heartbeat, and his was doing fine. A baby. Talk about changing the game midway through the second half.
The love he felt for the forming body held enough weight to crush him, so intense was the need to protect. The intense craving to live, to have a future to see the miracle he’d been given was new and not what he ever would’ve expected based on his past.
When he’d arrived in town, he’d been crushed the baby from five years ago hadn’t survived. But now? Now he had another chance. With Audrey. With a kid he could love and protect—and teach football, not fighting.
His spine hurt in an unconscious reminder of the device set to kill him.
He couldn’t die. He had to live. For Audrey and the baby.
Hope was a terrible thing, because it was crushed so easily. Yet he couldn’t protect himself from hoping a little.
How odd that he’d used a condom with Audrey, and she’d ended up pregnant with his kid anyway. But the betrayal from her mother and the doctors infuriated him. How dare they use her like that?
He scrubbed both hands down his face. What did Audrey really feel about the baby? She had to be angry and hurt that she’d been taken advantage of, and she had to be scared. Did it matter to her that the babe was created in a lab instead of naturally? He hadn’t been created or conceived naturally, and look how he’d turned out.
A killing machine.
But his kid would be different.
Intensity lived within him and always had. But he’d tempered his natural fire in order to calm Matt and protect Shane and Jory. Now, with his own child being threatened, nothing on earth would temper him. Ever again.
His feelings for his child’s mother were even more confusing. He’d loved Audrey Madison from the first second she’d flashed those innocent baby blues at him, and he wasn’t a guy who loved twice. He’d always known that fact with a certainty that had helped him take risks in the field since he figured he’d never have a chance with Audrey again.
Talk about a new chance. Now she carried his child, which made his hands shake and his ears heat. If anything happened to either Audrey or the baby, more than his body would die. He’d never figured on having a soul, but for the first time, as he sensed the existence of his child with a preternatural surety, he wondered. If he did have a soul, it was encased in Audrey and that baby. Losing them would be worse than any death the commander might devise.
The cabin he’d commandeered wouldn’t be a safe enough place to hide Audrey. She’d made some good arguments earlier, but the idea of her returning to the facility shot cold sweat down his back.
But he had to survive, and he did need her help to do it. How could he risk her in such a manner? How could he not?
His life had always been such a straight line, and he’d never questioned his place on the path—until now.
Audrey had been correct. Smart and tough, the woman would give the commander a good chase, but ultimately, he’d find her. Nate had always intended on taking out the man, but now, more than ever, he needed to end the organization. Cripple it, kill it, so nobody could threaten his child or Audrey.
He’d do his damnedest to survive, but odds still weren’t good. His only chance was to clear the path for Audrey.
So he sat down, opened his laptop, and made the one call he never thought he’d make.
His older brother took shape on the screen, concern gleaming in his familiar gray eyes. “Nate?” Matt asked.
“I need help, Mattie.”