I sighed. Admitting how wrong I had been, how easily I had been suckered in by a fa?ade, was still hard for me. I was supposed to have more street smarts than that. “I thought he was enough like Titus that I could fall for him and make it work. I thought he was a good man, but he isn’t. He’s great at being who you need him to be, but it’s all a lie. As for being the someone to care for Titus, for now it’s me.” Because he couldn’t talk about more, and until he could, this would have to be enough.
She sighed back at me and lifted her hands up to rub them over her obviously tired face. “No one is like Titus. No one is that strong, that secure, that hard. He is his own law and his own army. Bax is never going to like you being anywhere near his brother. He won’t ever trust you.”
“I know that, but I’m sure Race didn’t like Shane being near you and eventually he had to come to terms with it. Shane doesn’t have to trust me as long as his brother does. Right now Titus and I need each other, so no matter what anyone else thinks or feels, we are a package deal.”
She considered me silently before giving me a tight nod that had her tangled red locks falling forward.
“I’ve got my hands full with my own stubborn and dangerous man. I don’t have it in me to worry about what another one is doing. Titus knows what you’re capable of, so if he’s still willing to dive neck-deep into the mire with you, who am I to question it? You should know that if you cross him, though, he has it in him to be just as bad, just as wicked, as Bax. He’s not all good guy. He hides it well but there is bad in there.”
“I know.” I stepped around her. “He doesn’t try and keep his bad hidden from me. Probably because he knows I won’t ever judge him for it.” I had more than my fair share of bad fueling me every single day, so why would I bat an eye at Titus having shades of it come to life within him from time to time? Dovie just nodded at me and we walked our separate ways.
It took me a minute to find Keelyn’s room, and when I did I was surprised to find her sitting up on the edge of her bed, fully dressed and looking like she was about to head out shopping or to run errands. It wasn’t until I called her name and she turned to look at me that I saw her arm was in a sling and she had a thick bandage peeking out of the collar of her loose-fitting top.
“Hey. You’re already up and about?” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my voice.
She blinked her wide gray eyes at me then slowly nodded her head. “I’m declaring myself well enough to leave. You actually have perfect timing. You can help me get downstairs, where the cab I called is waiting.”
I frowned at her and put my hands on my hips. “So you aren’t actually cleared to go anywhere?” Now that she was facing me I could see she had a really gray cast to her normally flawless skin. Her mouth was also pinched in a grimace of pain.
“The doctor thinks I should stay for a few more days, but I need to get out of here. I made them discharge me.”
“You need to get out of the hospital? Why? What’s the rush?”
“I need out of this city. I can’t do this anymore, Reeve. Look at me.” She waved a hand at her immobilized wing and bandaged chest. “I have twenty stitches in my chest and half of that in my back. I look like a character in a video game. No one is going to pay money to see a washed-up stripper covered in scars take her clothes off. All of this is just so tired and sad. I’m exhausted and I don’t want to do it anymore.”
I closed the door behind me and walked into the room. I set my purse down on the floor and winced at the heavy thud the gun made when it landed. I was going to need to get used to that or Titus was going to get suspicious.
“You’ve been in the Point as long as I have. Where else would you go?” I had seen the suburbs, thought I could make that work for me, and had been so wrong. I wondered if Key had been anywhere but the Point.
“Anyplace where no one has ever heard the name Honor. I want to bury her. I don’t want to be her anymore. I don’t want her life. I don’t want to want what she wants.” She shifted and used her good hand to push some of her dark red hair over her shoulder. Only she could be shot up and bedraggled and still look so perfect. “There was this girl that danced at Spanky’s for like six months a few years ago. She was kind of a gypsy, not one to settle any one place for too long. She was young, but smart and ambitious. She ended up in Denver, I think. I heard she reconnected with an old flame and has a kid on the way now. We keep in touch here and there, so I was thinking maybe I would head that way. She says Colorado is the most beautiful place she has ever been. Nothing like the Point. Fresh air might be just what I need to get my shit together.”
“It’s not that easy,” I told her quietly.
“What’s not?”
“Leaving this place behind. The scenery changes, the people are different, but you’ll still be you and that means you’ll always have a huge part of the city in you. You can’t just leave it behind; you can try and fool yourself into wanting something different, but it doesn’t work.” I would never settle for an imitation again.
She scoffed a little and then struggled to her feet, forcing me to scramble and help her as she wobbled unsteadily.