Jesus, she couldn’t have hit him any harder. He’d left her unsated. Again. While one of his weakest decisions fogged his head as he climaxed. He buried his face in his hands, wanting so badly to take it all away. Too damn late. The ugliest, dirtiest side of himself had sauntered out of its hole and spread its legs in her face.
She didn’t run. Instead, she seemed willing to talk about it. He raised his head. “You want to do this right now? We can. My protective team knows all about my indiscretions. They’ve carried my unconscious ass out of more concerts than not. And maybe Nathan should hear what kind of a fuckwad he’s working for.”
Nathan drummed his fingers on his knee and stared out his window. “I’m already well-informed.”
“Be nice, Nathan.” She massaged her temple. “And Jay, please don’t insult yourself. It’s not helpful.”
Jay blew out a breath and leaned back. “The kid I shoved in the hallway slipped me forty migs of Oxycontin.”
She snapped her head toward him. The flash of passing headlights glanced off her rounded eyes.
“I wanted a light buzz, a dose of energy. Oxycontin gives me that without the appearance of being high.”
“So does Red Bull. And Starbucks.” She was back to staring out the windshield, the envelope twitching in her hand.
“Touché.” He bent his elbows on his knees. “I also needed a panic attack suppressant. I thought what I took was Oxycontin. Maybe I got the dose wrong. Maybe it was mislabeled. Because the high has…had a delusional effect. Like heroin.”
It had been only him and Charlee in that arena. No crowd. No groupies. Everything had peeled away, leaving an erotic euphoria with her at its center.
Narcotics had a way of driving him through the worst of his anxiety. A numbing appeal. But he would lose her if he didn’t take the wheel and confront his weakness head-on and sober.
“Are you delusional now?”
The single pitch in her voice vented her suspicion. He knew she was thinking if she couldn’t recognize the side effects, how would she ever know when he was high? Worse, he’d annihilated any trust he might’ve earned. “I’m clear-headed enough to know I made the second worst decision of my life tonight.”
She looked away from what he knew was desperation burning in his eyes.
“I’ll give up the tour, the shows…the band. Anything to make this right.” Yeah, he was choking with desperation. He hadn’t lied. He’d give it all up.
“Drama queen.” She flipped the envelope over and over through a weighted moment. Then she tucked her chin to her chest and asked, “What was your worst decision?”
The memory of the night he met her coiled around him, suffocating and intoxicating all at once. “St. Louis. Three years ago. Letting you walk away. If I’d delayed you, took you for coffee, kidnapped you myself…”
She cupped her mouth and closed her eyes.
Christ, he’d reminded her of Noah’s death. “Charlee—”
“It’s okay.” She dropped her hand, eyes resting on her lap. “Walking away was my worst decision, too.”
His heart flipped over. Sure, if she had joined him for coffee, Noah would’ve survived, but he told himself she was thinking of the three years she might’ve had with Jay.
“Roy’s assistant delivered this.” She shoved a finger under the seal and tore it open. Chest heaving, she unfolded the letter and held it under the dome light at an angle the three of them could read silently.
Miss Charlee Grosky
27124 Los Hermosos Way
Los Angeles, CA 90027
Dear Miss Grosky,
Oxford Security is pleased to offer you a position as Resident Artist for our organization. We are excited about the talent you would bring to our company.
Should you accept the offer, you will be working in the San Francisco penthouse, where our security teams reside. You will report directly to the CEO of Oxford Industries. Your initial task will be to sketch a portrait for one of our high-ranking security officers. The commissioned work will be presented to the officer’s niece as a gift for her nineteenth birthday.
You will be classified as an executive-level employee. Your initial compensation package includes full medical and dental coverage, and fringe benefits. In addition, Oxford Security will loan you an amount equal to all of your expenses incurred by The Burn. Should you remain with Oxford Security at least three years, the loan will be forgiven in its entirety.
We look forward to your arrival at our company and are confident your skills will play a key role in the morale of our personnel. Please sign this letter and return it to me at your earliest convenience as a written acceptance of the offer. Let me know if you have any questions or if I can do anything to make your arrival easier.
Sincerely,
Alan Patera
Executive Assistant to Roy Oxford
Oxford Industries
Jay’s stomach turned and bucked. “What the almighty fuck? He’s offering you a job?”
“The threat is here.” She traced a trembling finger over the paragraph about the nineteen-year-old niece and looked at Nathan, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m not seeing it. What am I missing?”